We jokingly call me "everybody" and Michael "nobody" ... "Everybody's hungry but Nobody wants cabbage." It seemed mean at first - but it's become pretty funny and we refer to ourselves that way regularly... the dogs are "All the people"... Sioux and the #cheekins had their name too but I forgot them right now.
Anyway, "Everybody" really is made up of many parts. One of the first deeply inspirational books I read - I may have blogged about it - was Watchman Nee's "The Spiritual Man". He explains in great detail the difference between the flesh, soul, and spirit and breaks it down in Greek and Hebrew. I should read that again. It was really good. It uses "The Bible" as the foundation for reality, however, and I don't know that I could go back to looking at life through that lens. I find much inspiration in the bible and I like it a lot - but I can not go back to thinking it is "the inerrant word of God"...and hanging my hat on anything it says. I've learned too much. Still. It might be interesting. I'll take it under consideration.
See that there... that was two "parts" of myself communicating.
One was talking about not trusting the Bible and agreed to take it under consideration.
The other was encouraging that one to look into it ("it might be interesting").
Wait. So. We have our body (meat sack - ha) and then there's the energy that operates our body... is that our "soul"? Dr. Wilson says there are many (hundreds?) of souls that make up a person. Maybe so. Are those souls or spirit guides or both? So much to learn here still.
But Eckhart Tolle has helped me nail down at least three parts of myself... and I've been observing the war/discussions between these three for a long time so it's neat to finally put a name to a "face". (Today I followed a conversation between them - we were in the shower (we = everybody = me). It was cool to see who was talking (and singing) about what.) So here's who is in the lineup (as far as I know... there may be more?)
- EGO - Carissa - who is constantly trying to shuffle experiences into stories to define herself in order to please (or manipulate/control) others.
- Pain-Body - I don't have a name for her yet - she is a bit deranged, (okay, more than a bit). She creates turmoil for herself and others in order to feed on the drama, she drives fear and falsehood in order to create chaos. I think she's really trying to kill me. She is either the driver or the vampire feeding off of hormonal and bodily imbalances and had great success making me into a "mentally ill" person. She doesn't like to be seen so when I observe her, she usually casually stalks off.
- Deep I/Real Self - Dubai - (Got her name because when I was discussing her with Tim, he thought I was saying "Dubai"... he didn't understand it but wanted to honor me and used that word later in discussion... at which point I said "Dubai? What's that?" ...and he said "Didn't you say "Dubai""? And I said, "No, I said "Deep I""... at which point we both laughed. It was great. So Deep I is now Dubai (for now). Aaaaaaanyway, this is "The Real Self" who Dr. Wilson wrote about (which is based on the channeled books "Course In Miracles" and "Way of Mastery"). This is the part of me that is connected to the Source ... Consciousness ... Being ... God.
I think when I was being locked up in Holly Hill and I described hearing voices/talking to God and the Devil... they were arguing... it was Dubai (God) and Pain-body (Devil) fighting for control.
Why is "Ego" called "Carissa"? I think Carissa (false self) is who I am most of the time... I think the person most people know as "Carissa" IS Ms. Ego... it's who "I" (false self) have compiled to represent my flesh/body/meat sack.
It all sounds so common sense, but it seems hard to touch this reality. I think the awakening of the world (collective conscious) is making it easier ... and now I'm a part of this. This is Tikkun Olam - bringing light to the world by surrendering to Light in and through me.
My "MIND" wants to grasp this - to cling to it ... EGO wants to get a juicy bite of it and OWN IT. But it doesn't belong to me. I must allow it to flow through me and cleanse me of this false self (sorry, Ego/Carissa). One day perhaps I will reflect my true self - Dubai - Deep I - I AM and be able to reflect WE ARE to all who are and will be.
In the meantime, remain vigilent and rooted in the present, observing what is. Source (and it's extension in Dubai/Deep I) will do the rest.
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