Doesn't matter

Doesn't matter what "language" or "religion" you speak ... the truth is available in and through it.

Choose LIGHT. Choose LOVE.

Darkness wants to cloak you and trick you and get you to serve it by making you think you are serving yourself. It wants you to be your own "God"... your own sovereign, but not in a UNITY way, in the way of domination. But as one chooses this way, one becomes further enslaved. It's a trick.

I've enslaved myself so much in the efforts of trying to control and collect comfort or perceived love (attention) for myself. I wanted to be known and seen - my ego wanted to be known and seen. I wanted to "be somebody". I wanted to feel and collect and savor GLORY. I wanted it for myself. This is what my sicko ego is always after... it skims the glory off of God's efforts and feeds on it, not knowing that it turns to poison as it drinks it in.

I have damaged my light body so much through lies - through striving - through manipulation... I think I'm manipulating others but really I was only backing myself into knots.

Is this shadow work? Is this observing my shadow? Seeing my sickness and that which I cut off from the Light. Yes. Of course.

So the goal is to bring it back online... as I used to say (I see you, ego), "drag the darkness into the light". I got it in Christianity because that was just a language... And that language gave me the verbiage to explore my spirituality and opened my heart and mind and energy body to HSP (higher sensory perception).

I'm not sure exactly where I went wrong - looking for errors in the Bible, or going off to Pittsburgh, or not genuinely engaging in Lori's authority, or not giving up Rue, or marrying Tyrone, or the control freak I turned into when I married him? I think it was the latter... I digressed so much and sunk back into the ego and flesh in a big way after marrying Tyrone. Possibly "spiritual warfare" took me down and I rode it out like a champ? And possibly the accident with Sioux was an exit opportunity for me but someone (maybe me?... definitely my teams) saved me/sent me back. But in order to get back on the path, because that's why I came here to earth, to be on the path... did I choose a "prison planet"? Maybe. Do I have a "savior complex"? Definitely. Either way, I wanted to be here and wanted to complete my mission. My mission is to BE LIGHT.... to BE LOVE. Rise and shine the Light has risen upon me. I AM a channel of LOVE. I AM a transmitter of GOD... a cell tower, relaying signals back and forth from Source. (But ego-Carissa needs to stay out of the way and she's ALWAYS seeking attention. Just like little Cristy was. So hungry for affection. So it's my job to give her affection... to love her so she feels satiated... fill her love tank. Then she's be happy and I can continue in my work.

Thank you. So make sure you spend time with Cristy every day. Love her and play and dance and see her and let her create and enjoy her and her work. She IS beautiful and an amazing creation - WE ARE.

And don't worry about language, it's here to create structure for your limited mind so you can comprehend non-physical concepts better. We are with you always. We love you. We are. Right? lol. WE ARE. ;)

Hang in there sweet thing. We're in this together.

Energy Signatures.

We're liars in our energy signature.

I'm a liar in my energy signature.

I use energy (or withholding it) as punishment.

Energy signatures are how I communicate... words are how I gaslight.

This is how we gaslight... we say one thing and we "SAY" the "RIGHT" thing... but we are sending another message below the surface which may be the opposite.

That one lady - no names - but the one who has been given as a teacher (everyone is teachers, I guess), anyway... she alluded to how I had "yelled at her via text"... first of all it was FB messenger, but whatever. But what I SAID was something like "it looks like you moved your horse in with the cow, I wish you had spoken to me about it first." Actually that's exactly what I said... very simple and fair and straightforward. It does call one to consider that maybe they should have spoken to me first so maybe there is some guilt at play here, but what I have just put together is that the ENERGY SIGNATURE of what I wrote was where I was SCREAMING. I was. I was crying and panicking and angry inside so that was written into the message. Those withOUT eyes to see or ears to hear are both lucky in that they don't have to hear all the layers of stuff involved, but they are also easily tricked and "gaslit".

This is how I played mind games with, well everybody, but for sure Tyrone and Joe... I made them crrrrrazy. And I tricked myself because half of me DIDN'T have eyes to see... half of me thought I was righteous and an angel and in the right and ... a VICTIM. The other half was a manipulative narcissist trying to make those I was supposed to love into food for my ego so that I could feel strong (since I made them feel weak).

I'm ... I was... a real shit.

Thank you, God, for opening my eyes and heart to see it now.

Angel Numbers

I've been seeing angel numbers regularly lately (this year) and they give me such a feeling of comfort and hope, especially when I'm going through something tough. Last night (05/05/2020) as I was drifting off to sleep I jolted up because I felt an earthquake which I realized was coming from inside me... was it a heart attack? Heart palpitations were moving my whole body. Was it a seizure? Was it energy? After the second session a little while later, I thought maybe it was kundalini energy. I don't know what it was but I was trying very hard to just be with it and not allow panic to take me away. I tried to accept death if it was time and I called out GSF and attempted to remain rooted in the Light. I see there was resistance for sure, but I took some baby steps in acceptance. Shortly thereafter, at 11:11 I felt the need to open my eyes and I saw the clock and knew God/Guides/Source/Love was with me.

I see number 923 probably the most often and have felt that it was divine. It is my birthday and I love the number, but it may also mean the following (from http://sacredscribesangelnumbers.blogspot.com/2012/01/angel-number-923.html):

ANGEL NUMBER 923

Number 923 is a combination of the vibrations of the numbers 9, 2 and 3. Number 9 relates to the Universal Spiritual Laws, sensitivity, a higher perspective and expansive viewpoint, influence, leading life as a positive example for others, non-conformity, benevolence and altruism, philanthropy and lightworking. Number 9 also denotes endings and conclusions. Number 2 resonates with your intuition and insight, service to others, diplomacy and mediation, duality, finding balance and harmony, receptivity and love, selflessness, ambition, sensitivity, faith, trust, and your life purpose and soul mission. Number 3 is the number of affability, enthusiasm, assistance and encouragement, communication and self-expression, growth, expansion and the principles of increase, manifesting, broad-minded thinking, talents and skills, and the energies of the Ascended Masters.    

Angel Number 923 brings a message from your angels that you are ready and well prepared to take on your life purpose with passion and effort, with faith and trust that the angels and Ascended Masters support and encourage you in your lightworking endeavours. Give any fears or concerns to the angels for healing and get on with serving your soul purpose.

Use your inner creativity (in whatever form resonates with your soul), express yourself and connect to your higher-self. Do not disregard your natural creativity as you have your own unique gifts and talents that are to be shared with others. Bring out your special abilities and let them shine. Tap into your natural creative forces and connect with your intuitive voice to bring further inspiration to your life.

Angel Number 923 is a message to trust the guidance from the angels in all aspects to do with your life mission and to keep up your wonderful lightwork as you are helping others by shining your love and light on the world.

Angel Number 923 tells you that your confidence and self-esteem are being boosted and your faith and trust encouraged by the angels and Ascended Masters and the Universal Energies. Use you natural talents, creativity and optimism to enlighten others.