Getting divorced was the worst decision I've ever made. It was a battle that I let Satan win in my life and the Kingdom suffered because of it. However, it was ALSO my breaking point (which I say with fondness). My post-separation circumstances brought me to a place that many people call "rock bottom".
I finally realized that I was broken - that I couldn't control my life on my own - that I was miserable and missing something so important and so huge --> GOD picked me up and showed me in a way that only He can that HE is EVERYTHING.
I finally realized that I was broken - that I couldn't control my life on my own - that I was miserable and missing something so important and so huge --> GOD picked me up and showed me in a way that only He can that HE is EVERYTHING.
I believe that I was "saved" many years ago (when I confessed with my mouth that Jesus is Lord and believed in my heart that God raised Him from the dead (Rom 10:9)) but this January 2nd I finally SURRENDERED my all to God and meant it. THAT was the BEST decision of my life -- well, it wasn't really a decision, was it? No. It was all the result of God choosing ME. The God of the Universe pursued ME and all I had to do was say "yes"!! WHOA!!
Now I have new life and new breath and new purpose and new goals and new dreams and they ALL revolve around God!! :) I am HEAD-OVER-HEELS in LOVE with God! I am powered by the Holy Spirit and I want to live just like Jesus.
Now I have new life and new breath and new purpose and new goals and new dreams and they ALL revolve around God!! :) I am HEAD-OVER-HEELS in LOVE with God! I am powered by the Holy Spirit and I want to live just like Jesus.
God has showed me so much of the ugliness inside of me- that which was holding me back from knowing Him - things like bitterness, pride, and a controlling nature.
I am a work in progress - Now I strive to be less than I am - I strive to be filled with the Spirit of God. One of my favorite verses in the Bible is John 3:30 "He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less."
One of the things that God revealed to me was that I was in the wrong with my decision to divorce my husband of 6 years. We had a rocky marriage by most people's standards but we could have called on God to remove the ugliness -and had we done so as a "team" and then trusted Him to take our inadequacies- we would have overcome. I think my ex-husband WANTED us to do this, however, MY heart was hardened. I was determined to control everything by MY power and MY efforts.
Long story short = it didn't work.
Sadly, we got divorced in June 2009.We took the easy road out. We bought into Satan's lie that we would be "happier" apart. But hindsight is 20/20 and we actually would have been "happier" if we had been obedient to God and respected our marriage covenant and started seeking fulfillment in God instead of each other (because humans can never measure up to Godly expectations). We both yearned for respect and love and neither of us had the energy or power to give it to one another. If we had gone to God and asked HIM to provide that- He would have. (1 John 14-15).
Long story short = it didn't work.
Sadly, we got divorced in June 2009.We took the easy road out. We bought into Satan's lie that we would be "happier" apart. But hindsight is 20/20 and we actually would have been "happier" if we had been obedient to God and respected our marriage covenant and started seeking fulfillment in God instead of each other (because humans can never measure up to Godly expectations). We both yearned for respect and love and neither of us had the energy or power to give it to one another. If we had gone to God and asked HIM to provide that- He would have. (1 John 14-15).
Despite this mistake, God was with me. He brought me to a place where ALL I HAD was Him. He picked me up and loved me into submission! It is the best thing in the eternal universe to be loved like this.
The end. The beginning.
<3
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