I noticed that all the cool kids are doing "2010" recap blogs and thought that maybe I should follow suit. God had me start blogging in January of this year so I thought I should probably tie a bow on it as we wrap up 2010.
I haven't cordoned off any good time to really do an exhaustive study or even to just reflect on all that God has done in, through, and for me this year... I SHOULD do that though. That would be a really SMART thing to do. I should try to capture some of the big things He's done in the "real world" as well as in my heart.
Maybe I'll do a high level version of that now.
Let's see...
The biggest thing He did was give me a NEW LIFE!!! January 2, 2010 marked the beginning of a new life in Christ. I was BORN AGAIN that day- the old me poured out and the new me was born! I have not been the same since that point. I am so BLESSED to have had such a "Road to Damascus" conversion experience! God knows me so intimately that He knew that that was what I needed to remember it. Some people are gradually converted...they gradually surrender...but He took me to the blackest of black places and showed me that I would never find fulfillment on my own. He wooed me and showed me that SURRENDER was the only way to truly "win".
What else? God inspired me to reconcile my marriage. The other party (my ex-husband) did not hear the same thing I did so we did not reconcile, but I walked with Jesus as He revealed my role in the dissolution of the relationship between my husband and I. He showed me me and gave me a new heart to give to my husband. Joe ended up marrying another woman in August at which point I finally "felt" free and "single". The Lord continues to reveal and heal my "issues" with relationships and I love being clay in the hands of the One I trust.
The Lord took me to Africa and gave me new and wonderful experiences including perspective and visuals of His pure and undefiled children who are living in poverty (surrounded with spiritual riches).
I have been able to meet the most wonderful people- from the new family in Christ that He has surrounded me with:
- My "Life Group/Small Group"that God gave me to "do life" with.
- The role models and mentors at Journey Church that God let me serve with and learn from.
- The Africans and missionaries that I met during my trip to Uganda have left a lasting impression on me. I know the Lord will continue to use my experiences with them for His glory.
- The homeless men and women downtown who gave me a new perspective on poverty (Carissa, never forget Mark, Juanita, John & Nadia, Taylor, Judy, and Ed).
- The hearts of my heart- my best friends and sisters in Christ, Sayre, Le'Anna & Corie (and it's terrible to put a boy here, because he is NOT my "sister" in Christ, but He is my "soul brotha", Greg (who is patient, forgiving and kind and his friendship is providing a forum for me to learn how to relate to, respect and honor men).
Jobwise, I was able to have an amazing job at Farm Bureau Insurance Company through May of this year. Working for Christian bosses and having the time to research and worship God at work was wonderful. Even though I was working a full-time job, during that time I had the most "margin" in my life to seek God.
The Lord then gave me the opportunity to work for Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Triangle for juuuuust a minute (a month and a half, part time. I was supposed to go "full time" when I returned from Africa, but God had other plans). It was interesting because as I look back, I see God's hand on the whole thing- the way he orchestrated it all to build me up and show me that He can give me everything my heart desires. And then He showed me that the pleasures associated with what MY heart desires don't even TOUCH the possibilities that come with fulfillment through Christ. Back to BBBS- He worked it all out so that I would be a "placeholder" for one of His other children, Yvonne, to do a job that is a perfect fit and blessing for her. (Romans 8:28). It's too complex to explain here, but I'll just say that it was not by my power that anything worked out the way it did- it was all BY Him and FOR Him.
In June/July, God allowed me to take a leap of faith and go to work full-time for Him... He said HE was my boss and He would provide all I need (and He has)! He had me work on a project for someone in Africa (that I still don't know what to do with), and He had me hang out downtown and talk to people. He had me meet lots of new friends and spend time investing in their lives and building friendships and shining the love of Christ into their world. This was my favorite, He had me serving with Pastor Paul at Journey- I got to work alongside him on lots of the projects and initiatives that he was working on (the First Connect Party, The Men's Retreat, NRCA Senior Girls Awards Ceremony, NEXT, Spiritual Assessment Tool, Financial Class, among other things)....SO FUN!
I am just SO blessed!
This November into December I started feeling that God wanted me to take action. Growth from the seeds that He had planted this year started emerging. I started connecting the dots- the things that He had put on my heart over the course of the last year....things like the "burning heart" icon, and the passion for projects (that's been there a while), and the desire to share the stories of the amazing people God has introduced me to and connect them with help. As I prayed for direction and a name He responded and Christian Love Projects was born. This nonprofit (Godprofit) organization is in the infantile stage right now- it is a state recognized/incorporated charity with a tax ID number, but I am waiting to see where God takes it (IF it is His will).
I LOVE Journey and secretly wish I could just serve there and love on the people there always and forever, but I think God has given me additional responsibilities because I have the capacity in my life (and because I am his special chosen one!). I don't have a family to balance with (though I have an AMAZING dog!)... so I have more time than most. However I must never forget to prioritize the most important relationship I have- the one with my Redeemer, Best Friend, Counselor, Husband, Guide, Lover of my Soul- Jesus! I also need to prioritize some margin in my life so that in the moments of peace and nothingness I can respond to God's prompting for me to reach out and love those He places on my heart.
Pray:
God, show me me. (Show me YOU so I can see me as I am....a sinner and desperately in need of a Savior.)
Give me more capacity to love.
Give me eyes to see those who are lost and hurting and the means to respond.
Give me more room in my heart and soul for the Holy Spirit to fill me.... Holy Spirit, please fill me with more and more of You.
Give me wisdom, discernment, and the power to follow through with the plans you plant in my heart.
Protect me from the schemes of the evil one, and the weakness of my flesh.
Give me the desire and the strength to turn from the things of this world that separate me from You.
Help me to prioritize my time with You.
It's not about me- it's ALL ABOUT YOU.
Time is running out- help me to make the most of every opportunity.This has gotten out of control.
I just wanted to say THANK YOU to JESUS for SAVING ME and giving me NEW LIFE and a PURPOSE by the POWER of the HOLY SPIRIT who indwelled me on January 2nd of this year. I think I believe I was saved by believing earlier in my life. I was a Christian- but I hadn't SURRENDERED. When I did- I got a new life. AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! It's all SO AWESOME!!!!
Um. I just also want to note (even though I'm going to sound like a snotty fruitcake) that I am HIGHLY FAVORED. I think this borders on bragging, but I am in AWE of God's goodness! He has given me the most amazing gift of discernment this year- He's allowed me to see into the spiritual realm in ways that are indescribable. I only have the gift when I am walking with Him. When I am, and when He shows me something to respond to and I am obedient- He is GLORIFIED. It is AMAZING! I would like to pray for Him to continue to hone this gift and to use me for His glory in 2011.
Lord, I lift your name on high!
Lord, I love to sing your praises!
"When deep calls to deep" - remember Brian Doerksen and the Glorious conference/
"The [triad] corner of light" - slipping into the hearts of others and interceding on their behalf. Worshiping and praying with Sayre & Paul (even though they don't know it! ha!)
"ABOHG" - All because of His Grace - our small group was one of the biggest blessings God gave me... "We grow best in the context of community" <--Journey/ Paul
My favorite song this year (still) is "Now and Forever" by Josh & Tasha Via.
My favorite person this year is GOD (then probably Sayre. Is that horrible to say out loud? She radiates the love of Jesus. She encourages and inspires and prays me closer to God. She is the best example of Christ I know. I have lots of people who are close runners up- but Sayre, my sister, my accountability partner, my prayer warrior, is my ONE).
My favorite book this year is the BIBLE (and I also loved "Hole in the Gospel", "Radical", and "The Pursuit of God".)
My favorite TV show this year is - NO time-wasting TV.
My favorite movie this year is - um - I guess - Narnia3
My favorite activity this year was going to Africa.
The biggest revelation of sin this year was PRIDE and CONTROL (but first "bitterness"...that was the blockage.) I hope that God takes away my gluttony in 2011 once and for all! Pray pray pray!
My favorite place is in the arms of Jesus! (And my favorite earthly, building-esque place is Journey Church.)
My favorite past-time this year was/is my walks in the woods with God and Rue. (Which reminds and spurs me to get AWAY from my computer and GO enjoy a WALK!!)
Thank you, Lord, for a wonderful year. As we move into 2011, please continue to show me favor and use me to make Jesus famous in this city, nation, and world. Amen.
<3
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