Oh Sugar!

Sugar again.
Is this the cause of my anxiety? (Debilitating anxiety.)
God may have shown me that this anxiety (which has only been around for a couple days) comes after I eat or drink coffee.

I'm better when I eat natural.

I'm also afraid (perfect love casts out all fear) that I am about to be cut off! Why is the pear tree in my back yard dying? I have a sense that it is a warning to me- showing me that I too will be cut off if I do not obey the Lord. I thought of the parable Jesus speaks of in Luke 13:6-9

⁶ He spake also this parable; A certain man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard; and he came and sought fruit thereon, and found none.

⁷ Then said he unto the dresser of his vineyard, Behold, these three years I come seeking fruit on this fig tree, and find none: cut it down; why cumbereth it the ground?

⁸ And he answering said unto him, Lord, let it alone this year also, till I shall dig about it, and dung it:

⁹ And if it bear fruit, well: and if not, then after that thou shalt cut it down.

I don't want that to be me. I think Lori pointed that out to me last year. I'm afraid it's true. Am I not bearing fruit? Is this a trick of Satan to keep me in bondage?

What is spiritual warfare? Are all things not under God's control? They are. He is sovereign. Have I taken my freedom for granted? Have I spat upon the grace that God has given me and He is about to destroy me? Or is this an answer to my prayer for Him to strengthen me and prepare me to die for His honor? It is my desire to be a martyr, beheaded for the testimony of Jesus Christ (see Revelation 20:4). Mmmm. I was confused- I must seek understanding about this. I need to die for the testimony of Jesus Christ. I also must die clothed in white...righteousness... I must overcome. But is this overcoming by being found in Christ through faith. Baptized into Christ Jesus? Yes. But is it also by forsaking my flesh and sin? Yes. Must I attain to righteousness in order to be saved? Yes. Yes? Yes. I must overcome... which happens by faith in Christ. Washed by the blood of the lamb. God's grace leads us to repentance. Lord, help me. Help me! I do not want to fail you. Whoever you love, you chasten. ("...Be zealous therefore and repent!" Revelation 3:19).

Listen and obey.