Desire

I desire a cookie (a "kitchen sink" cookie from Panera, to be exact.)
I desire to live (and not pass away before I've completed my task.)
I desire this anxiety to go away (especially the panic attack that was overcoming me when I jotted down these notes.)

All of these are bad. All of these are examples of me pressing back against my present moment. I must be content and accept/ALLOW whatever IS. 

Observe. Allow. Accept. Be.
"DESIRE" separates me from God. It is born of my ego... and it feeds it ... ego WANTS... ego desires... 

EGO CLINGS.
Stop clinging to desire. 
Stop clinging to control.


"I WANT I WANT I WANT" - the refrain Michael sings to me when I am rattling off another desire.
My flesh, my ego, my self just WANTS *THINGS* to FILL it.

Empty my self.
Deny my self.


Also:
Anxiety is inflammation

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I enjoyed watching Oprah interview Thich Nhat Hanh - full of wisdom. I ordered his book today "Living Buddha, Living Christ". He said in this interview that "Christ is the Buddha of the West"... and I couldn't agree more. Seems to me that they are the same. 

I'm really enjoying learning about all religion. I'm listening to "The Bhagavad Gita: A Walkthrough For Westerners" now - I don't know much about Hindu religion... but everything I learn about all the different paths of faith makes me SEE the elephant as a whole. (You've heard the analogy about religion.... that it's like an elephant in a dark room - three men touch different parts of the elephant and define it by what they experience. "An elephant is long and tubular" - says the one who touches his trunk. "An elephant is skinny with a hairy tuft" says the one touching his tail. "An elephant is thin and flat" says the one touching the ear. They are all sure they KNOW what an elephant is ... it IS what THEY experienced... but they didn't experience the whole elephant.)  

Anyway, I'm just a baby awakening ... there's so much to learn and I'm afraid that I have already mucked this life up too much to get too many rungs up the ladder, but I must climb as high as I can. I heard in the Bhagavad Gita that no spiritual efforts are wasted. They will go with me. If I return again for another soul's journey in the flesh, I will have to re-learn much, but it won't all be lost. We'll see. Or not. I need to be okay with that and just BE HERE NOW.