Brain dump

I'm just going to dump my brain here and see if it helps. My new friend Nancy suggested it last week and so I'm going to try.... I have a lot clogged up in there... tumultuous day yesterday... but here goes...

And it's blank.
Haha!
I'm just messing with myself I guess.

Okay... my head is full... especially my forehead. I guess that's energy, stuck energy. I'm nervous about Victoria coming. I want to BE LOVE NOW but my flesh is still all wrapped up and upset but I'm a channel for light. TIKKUN OLAM I dreamt about it being Tikkun Olam day.

Breathe.

Much to do. Don't hold everything tightly.... let everything flow. This was an opportunity for suffering to overcome self. See my ego. I saw how pain body rose up to try to get in on the action. Ego is involved. What I see in Victoria (that irks me) is the stuff about me that needs to be weeded.

Breathe.

I always push away Michael. I'm so fortunate and blessed. I'm scared that I have breast cancer. God said He's helping me quit sugar... He said I could eat it today but I HAVE to stop. It's killing me. If I want to heal my vessel and be a force of Love and Light I have to be clear and pure and sugar makes me off kilter. I guess that's probably why I didn't respond to Victoria and her dog with love - but in fear. Prissy isn't my dog to protect. Dee's cats aren't my cats to protect. But I want to...but Lexi wasn't going to kill them, she just wanted to chase and torture them. She rolled (attacked) Prissy twice. Victoria doesn't take responsibility and won't apologize. I must do this to poor Michael.

Corie. It's all too much. Let it all through. Let it pass through. She has her own stuff going on. Don't take it personally. She has a strong pain body that has to create (or feeds on) drama. She has a strong energy field. Don't be jealous. I guess I am attracted to it but it hurts me. I tried very hard NOT to allow myself to be a victim. Looking at stuff kind of makes me victimize the situation (aka Lana is making me run in circles like a horse ...when you punish a horse).

Pause - plan - I need to get timothy hay cubes. The man is coming to discuss sedge. Victoria might come. She might try to hurt me. I have to let her. I have to be love. Jesus watched with love as others destroyed his body. His soul was strong. He overcame fear and death. He lived in love. I want to too. I must. This was a minor opportunity to learn to allow emotions to pass through and not allow them to be stuck. I succeeded a little, but I failed a little too. It's not "good" or "bad", it's "mature" and "immature" and I have more maturing to do.

Okay. Maybe I'll always brain dump here. It's helpful. I should probably not have it for everyone to see. There's probably a privacy setting.

Going now. XO