Very important AG pick

https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Quality_of_Intention

I wish I had described consciousness to Ryan better ... I tried. I need to keep my eyes on my own paper. Let go of that which doesn't serve me. Care for my own home, body, family, etc. Love myself back to wholeness.

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Here are today's AG picks etc.:

Quote: "People will show themselves with actions, not words."

Reflection:

This is what is confusing... Ryan's actions are often kind, but his words are not. He's not ready. It's a timing issue as Jennifer alluded to. And I need to come back to myself. I can't accept the meanness. I'm not a victim and I've created this. I've created it so I can overcome it. 

AG Pick: https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Tyranny  

"Tyranny is about the Abuse of Power over others through a variety of methods; deception, lying, manipulation, Mind Control, bullying and intimidation. Whether it's a pushy person, a control freak, a bully, or an outright tyrant, the problem is the same: their goals are always more important than yours."

I want to say this article points to Ryan - he is a liar, cheater, stealer, bully, and doesn't care who he hurts or takes advantage of. Hurt people hurt people. But he does some of it out of self-preservation - a wounded animal. This is not who he is at his core. 

"A difficult, pushy person has gone too far again. They are bossing you around, acting selfish and self-important, threatening you, making demands, barking orders, and abusing their power. Control freaks, imperative people, and tyrants exercise power in a harsh, cruel, or destructive manner. They are oppressive, harsh, arbitrary people who make life difficult for too many of us. They are annoying, inconsiderate, and demeaning."

But it's also about me. I am pushy and controlling. I need to stop trying to control others. I am not doing it in a harsh, cruel, or destructive manner. Ryan is. But I think that I think I know better ... I have an ego problem too. He does too... and it's made him sick. We're toxic and I can't swim around in that anymore... it's making him worse and sicker and me weaker and sicker too. Enabling the behavior, perpetuating victim consciousness. I need to guard my heart and life. (I said "from him", but there's something twisty there. He's not to blame. I'm the one creating this experience for myself. I wanted to know how bad it could be. How desperate and stupid one could be. And now I will learn and remember how it feels to be treated well, as I deserve, with kindness and generosity and grace and forgiveness. I will see myself and celebrate myself.

How can I stop myself in my tracks when I start longing for a hit of Ryan? It's a drug. Let him go. What can I substitute? Not food. That's tangled in there and I'm not interested in perpetuating my sickness... it's making my body sick too. Take care of my body. What can I do that feels good?? Maybe it's a TV program again? Maybe it's rom-coms or walking my boys. God, could I please have that greenway by my house? 

I'll get through this, I'm strong. And I pray for Ryan to heal and find his Way too. 

Suggested practice for the day:5 Steps to Refocus Mind

The 5 Steps to Negative Ego Reprogramming – How to Shift Mental Gears

Exercise to Discipline the Lower Mind as it is not  God's job to control yoru mind.

1. RE-LABEL - Identify the negative thought or emotion as a distorted pattern of negative ego consciousness.

This fear pattern is my Negative Ego. This is not the real me.

2. RE-ATTRIBUTE - Dis-identify from the thought or emotion as you. Through self awareness, one can begin to master emotional states and then one can begin to choose higher responses.

I am the eternal being, not my thoughts or emotions.

3. RE-FOCUS - Move yourself out of situation, environment or the emotional trigger for that negative or painful thought. Go for a walk, listen to music, change your focus and move your body.

Beloved God, give me strength to not exert my will but serve the highest expression of divine will.

4. RE-VALUE - Revalue the power you have given this negative thought or emotion to rule your life. See  this negative pattern for what it truly is, how it impacts your life. Fears are what limit potential and disempower you. Fear and negatvity rob you of inner peace and fulfillment as an authentic and divine being.

Get behind ME, Negative Ego! I AM that I AM. Be Still and know I am God, Sovereign free! 

5. REQUEST HELP - Commit to expressing Higher Emotion and Living authentically, aligning with your Soul Purpose.

Pray and meditate, ask for help from spirit. Work your spiritual tools. Stay in the now!

Tools: Core Fear matrix removal program, emotional clearing techniques, affirmations and decrees, Ascension Meditation treatments, positive mantra chant to refocus mind, 12D sealing, request higher self to help. Ask for higher guidance to lead you to the perfect resonance technique to assist you int his moment. Breathe.When you get anxious and notice a self-defeating program of your ego taking over, apply breath and self-forgiveness.