Good health is intentional

Please pray with me for confirmation, clarification and direction on the next steps for me in relation to Uganda.

Also- please lift me up. I HAVE to TRULY confess of and REPENT (turn from) my sin of gluttony. It consumes me. I know it and I still choose to fight it on my own. The battle is not mine- I will be sanctified and set free by His GRACE if/when I truly SURRENDER it! But stupid stupid me keeps picking it back up!!!!

I can't even begin to tell you about the rollercoaster of food "issues" that I've been on the last week and a half of my life! But I will tell you what I have learned/re-learned. That's that:

* Food is for for nourishment (not to numb me).
* Sugar consumes me and separates me from God.
* Good health is intentional.

Ohhhhhh okkkkkaaaaaaayyyyyy I'll tell you about this...
So I fasted for 4.5 days. I essentially decided to do this crazy fast that I made up after I read Ezekiel 4:9-10. The plan was that I was going to stick with it for 39 days. It was going to be AWESOME!! :) :)

Days 1-3 actually were GREAT. :) God was all around me- blessing me from every angle! I was eating the scriptures for my meals (i.e. I had Ephesians for lunch one day, and Jeremiah 7 for breakfast....they were deeeelicous!) but - and here comes the bad part - then somewhere along there in day 2.5  I started feeling thinner. Feeeeeeeling thinner. (Feeling = thinking about self/what was going on in me. Thinner = body/self image.) Of course when I started feeling this way, my focus shifted to my flesh. AHHHH!!!!!! Satan is sooooo tricky because it was so subtle, but he sabotaged my fast- my offering to God- by making me think it was about me.

Days 3-5 turned into a slowly progressing and torturous diet that was all about me. I know God would have blessed it if I had kept going with my heart in the right place, but since I didn't, He was not with me. The lack of nutrients started getting to me and made my body and mind weak and by day four I couldn't even hold a conversation.  Halfway through day 5, because of the insistence of my sister, I ate an apple at which point I felt like I was coming back to life and started seeing the color of life again. Wheeeew! :)

Anyway- the point is that fasting or dieting or fads or whatever is not the answer. The ANSWER- which my sister pointed out- is that "good health is intentional". Good health is intentional.

That is SUCH a good, clear, concise, perfectly stated truth.
Good health is intentional.

Now if only I would OBEY.
I'm sick of blogging about food and gluttony and sin. I need to repent. I've battled it SO long. I've let it win so much. When will I let Jesus at it?? When will I truly give it to Him once and for all?

There are so many battles to fight in this world- so many REAL battles in the seen and unseen worlds that I should be involved in- but I'm not- I'm sitting on the sidelines because I can't get over myself.

Get over myself.

Help me abandon my shameful ways; 
for your regulations are good.
I long to obey your commandments!
Renew my life with your goodness.   (Psalm 119:39-40)