My Welcome Post

I posted the following on the Energetic Synthesis Foundations Welcome New Members post just now. Thought I'd keep it. Took me a while - much hemming and hawing and petting - ha!

______

Hello Beloveds! I am Carissa and happy to be here. <--Happy is not the right word... ummm.... it's not full enough... I can see that "ego-Carissa", wants to introduce herself and belong and she's very bubbly! Ha! We love her and appreciate her efforts, but we want to be rooted in authenticity and frankly ego Carissa may not have that capability so let me try to tap into my true self and continue....

I AM grateful to be here.  There is much to learn. My journey has been lined with riches that my eyes are becoming more and more open to. I struggle with trying to piece together "my" "story", but let’s see what I will share:

Ten years ago. January 2, 2010 was the day that I first experienced a RADICAL awakening! It was coming for a while - I went through what I guess was a dark night of the soul - I felt hunted by God and sometimes it seemed like He was dive-bombing my head like a bat. For a couple of weeks everything was dead to me - it seemed like I was going to die or something, like it was the end. But that day in January I was praying in a church environment and surrendered my root of bitterness and WHOOSH, I felt God pour into me from the top of my head and I poured out through my feet. It was very strange and I had no context for it for years. I cried and snotted all over myself and it was the beginning of what's been a wild 10 years. I began to hear the voice of God who told me right away "It's not about you". (Well, actually, the FIRST thing they told me was to pick up a piece of garbage that was on a hiking path. I fought that and tried to keep walking but the Voice was relentless and eventually, I gave in and went back and picked it up. Okay. Check! Baby steps people!)

The more I listened to and obeyed the Voice, the more responsibility I was given. I had some tremendous adventures - I went to Africa, God did amazing miracles that I didn't have to do a THING to make happen, I lived by faith for a year and only served Him, I left my home and moved to Pennsylvania to join a house church that had some pretty interesting beliefs, I mean... I guess I could go on and on, but suffice it to say there were radical acts of faith that went down and God moved in and through me and it was a blessed existence... "the mountaintop experience" for sure. I learned so much.

As I was broken out of traditional mind-sets, I searched for "my tribe”. I learned so much during that time, the truth was within me. I was gifted with morsels to nibble on to sustain me... but I felt very much on my own. My ever-evolving beliefs and insight about life, government, religion, etc. just didn't fit anywhere.

An important relationship that I am still processing was my second husband. I walked into what I believe to be an "arranged marriage" by God. I joined a prison ministry and wrote a letter to a man in prison to encourage him. In his second letter to me this man asked me to marry him. I felt the spirit of God in the situation and in him and the whole thing was weird and intense so I told him if it was God's will that I would. (As you can imagine, my family and friends thought I had really taken a dive off the deep end - I just kept getting weirder and weirder - ha!) The next 4 months before he got out was like the garden of Gethsemane - I was crying out to God asking him to take this from me but I willed that His will be done. (“T" was not stable, had a checkered past, severe mental/medical conditions and I had never met him.) But again I was trying to live by faith... and to this day I believe that “T" was a gift from God and we WERE supposed to heal each other in Love… however, the mission was aborted as a result of ego and trauma. I sustained a serious head injury and broken sacrum and was no longer able to cope/hold everything together (which I had defaulted to doing in my flesh anyway) and it became too much. There's a lot of yuck here but long story short, he left while I was sleeping and I was broken-hearted (<—understatement).

When he left, he told me that he thought I was a narcissistic energy vampire. I didn’t know those terms yet and of course I pushed back! GASP! No! Not me! YOU’RE the narcissist!! I knew that I was an angel - I had SAVED HIM. I had given him everything he had and supported him to rebuild his life (we were 3 years out from his prison release at the time)! Anyway, I couldn’t see it….

So now 4+ years out from him leaving I am in the middle of processing that he was absolutely on point. I have been a narcissist. I have been an energy vampire. I have also been co-dependent and I am definitely an empath. I'm not sure if everyone is half energy vampire/half empath, but I definitely am. My empath nature made me extra sensitive to other’s energies and emotions and thoughts and I’ve always tried to keep them comfortable and not rock the boat or upset them. But my programming taught me to get [a counterfeit of] love and ego/esteem needs met through manipulation, control tactics, guilt-mongering, gaslighting, and also through do-gooding (helping people so that they would love and need me and feel indebted to me (more power to chew on and give me false security)). I make myself sound really evil and I think it really is, but it seems like my heart intention has always been to serve our higher power (though figuring out what that means has morphed a lot through this incarnation)... so I can only deduce that it is all part of my soul's journey and I had to experience it so that I can drag the darkness into the light for healing and release.

Whooo! I’m sorry for the book - I appreciate anyone who tracked with me through that. I’m really trying to get my head around/heal/release my own control dramas so I think that’s why I shared so much about this.

I’m really interested in many topics - I just joined yesterday and have found so many riches to explore - so much to learn. I’ve desperately yearned for support on my journey (which is probably why I didn’t get it - I’m always in resistance (whether it is positive or negative - CLINGING to the good or PUSHING AGAINST the bad) all of it keeps me in a state of resistance. Anyway, I have so many strange things happening to and through me (especially since the awakening in 2010). One day in 2011 I asked a pastor that I knew experienced some of the same wild things about it and he told me that I wasn’t supposed to talk about it. I’ve been torn with guilt because I want to talk about it so that I can understand what’s going on and learn how to use the visions (etc.) and I have felt that it is a responsibility sometimes to do something with the information… I’ve tried many outlets but I just wanted so much to have support… like someone to hold my hand and explain what’s going on. I read recently about shaman kids that are born with gifts and they begin training at a young age with an elder to learn about their gifts. I wanted that - a nice old grandma to take me back to her wigwam and compassionately teach me the ways of Source. (I’m quite happy to have beautiful Lisa Renee and all of you lovely souls to teach me instead! ;))

Frankly, maybe I'm only now really ready for this understanding. I’ve been so rooted in fear and programmed since childhood that anything out of the “ordinary” is witchcraft and gosh, I don’t want to displease our Creator! I’m just recently beginning to let go of some of those fears. It’s all part of the journey to awakening to who I really am. Who we really are.

What a wild ride this is! I'm grateful to be here with all of you. Sorry for the long book. 

Love,
Carissa

Introduction to ESF Friends

Hello Beloveds! I am Carissa and happy to be here. <--Happy is not the right word... ummm.... it's not full enough... I can see that "ego-Carissa", wants to introduce herself and belong and she's very bubbly! Ha! We love her and appreciate her efforts, but we want to be rooted in authenticity and frankly ego Carissa may not have that capability so let me try to tap into my true self and continue....

I AM grateful to be here. There is much to learn. My journey has been lined with riches that my eyes are becoming more and more open to. I struggle with trying to piece together "my" "story", but let’s see what I will share:

Ten years ago. January 2, 2010 was the day that I first experienced a RADICAL awakening! It was coming for a while - I went through what I guess was a dark night of the soul - I felt hunted by God and sometimes it seemed like He was dive-bombing my head like a bat. For a couple of weeks everything was dead to me - it seemed like I was going to die or something, like it was the end. But that day in January I was praying in a church environment and surrendered my root of bitterness and WHOOSH, I felt God pour into me from the top of my head and I poured out through my feet. It was very strange and I had no context for it for years. I cried and snotted all over myself and it was the beginning of what's been a wild 10 years. I began to hear the voice of God who told me right away "It's not about you". (Well, actually, the FIRST thing they told me was to pick up a piece of garbage that was on a hiking path. I fought that and tried to keep walking but the Voice was relentless and eventually, I gave in and went back and picked it up. Okay. Check! Baby steps people!)

The more I listened to and obeyed the Voice, the more responsibility I was given. I had some tremendous adventures - I went to Africa, God did amazing miracles that I didn't have to do a THING to make happen, I lived by faith for a year and only served Him, I left my home and moved to Pennsylvania to join a house church that had some pretty interesting beliefs, I mean... I guess I could go on and on, but suffice it to say there were radical acts of faith that went down and God moved in and through me and it was a blessed existence... "the mountaintop experience" for sure. I learned so much.

As I was broken out of traditional mind-sets, I searched for "my tribe”. I learned so much during that time, the truth was within me. I was gifted with morsels to nibble on to sustain me... but I felt very much on my own. My ever-evolving beliefs and insight about life, government, religion, etc. just didn't fit anywhere.

An important relationship that I am still processing was my second husband. I walked into what I believe to be an "arranged marriage" by God. I joined a prison ministry and wrote a letter to a man in prison to encourage him. In his second letter to me this man asked me to marry him. I felt the spirit of God in the situation and in him and the whole thing was weird and intense so I told him if it was God's will that I would. (As you can imagine, my family and friends thought I had really taken a dive off the deep end - I just kept getting weirder and weirder - ha!) The next 4 months before he got out was like the garden of Gethsemane - I was crying out to God asking him to take this from me but I willed that His will be done. (“T" was not stable, had a checkered past, severe mental/medical conditions and I had never met him.) But again I was trying to live by faith... and to this day I believe that “T" was a gift from God and we WERE supposed to heal each other in Love… however, the mission was aborted as a result of ego and trauma. I sustained a serious head injury and broken sacrum and was no longer able to cope/hold everything together (which I had defaulted to doing in my flesh anyway) and it became too much. There's a lot of yuck here but long story short, he left while I was sleeping and I was broken-hearted (<—understatement).

When he left, he told me that he thought I was a narcissistic energy vampire. I didn’t know those terms yet and of course I pushed back! GASP! No! Not me! YOU’RE the narcissist!! I knew that I was an angel - I had SAVED HIM. I had given him everything he had and supported him to rebuild his life (we were 3 years out from his prison release at the time)! Anyway, I couldn’t see it….

So now 4+ years out from him leaving I am in the middle of processing that he was absolutely on point. I have been a narcissist. I have been an energy vampire. I have also been co-dependent and I am definitely an empath. I'm not sure if everyone is half energy vampire/half empath, but I definitely am. My empath nature made me extra sensitive to other’s energies and emotions and thoughts and I’ve always tried to keep them comfortable and not rock the boat or upset them. But my programming taught me to get [a counterfeit of] love and ego/esteem needs met through manipulation, control tactics, guilt-mongering, gaslighting, and also through do-gooding (helping people so that they would love and need me and feel indebted to me (more power to chew on and give me false security)). I make myself sound really evil and I think it really is, but it seems like my heart intention has always been to serve our higher power (though figuring out what that means has morphed a lot through this incarnation)... so I can only deduce that it is all part of my soul's journey and I had to experience it so that I can drag the darkness into the light for healing and release.

Whooo! I’m sorry for the book - I appreciate anyone who tracked with me through that. I’m really trying to get my head around/heal/release my own control dramas so I think that’s why I shared so much about this.

I’m really interested in many topics - I just joined yesterday and have found so many riches to explore - so much to learn. I’ve desperately yearned for support on my journey (which is probably why I didn’t get it - I’m always in resistance (whether it is positive or negative - CLINGING to the good or PUSHING AGAINST the bad) all of it keeps me in a state of resistance. Anyway, I have so many strange things happening to and through me (especially since the awakening in 2010). One day in 2011 I asked a pastor that I knew experienced some of the same wild things about it and he told me that I wasn’t supposed to talk about it. I’ve been torn with guilt because I want to talk about it so that I can understand what’s going on and learn how to use the visions (etc.) and I have felt that it is a responsibility sometimes to do something with the information… I’ve tried many outlets but I just wanted so much to have support… like someone to hold my hand and explain what’s going on. I read recently about shaman kids that are born with gifts and they begin training at a young age with an elder to learn about their gifts. I wanted that - a nice old grandma to take me back to her wigwam and compassionately teach me the ways of Source. (I’m quite happy to have beautiful Lisa Renee and all of you lovely souls to teach me instead! )

Frankly, maybe I'm only now really ready for this understanding. I’ve been so rooted in fear and programmed since childhood that anything out of the “ordinary” is witchcraft and gosh, I don’t want to displease our Creator! I’m just recently beginning to let go of some of those fears. It’s all part of the journey to awakening to who I really am. Who we really are.

What a wild ride this is! I'm grateful to be here with all of you!

Love,
Carissa

Sign up for Energetic Synthesis Foundations

 From: Carissa Wages <crwages@gmail.com> 

Sent: Saturday, January 11, 2020 7:54 PM
To: Energetic Synthesis Foundations Sign Up <foundations@energeticsynthesis.com>
Subject: Re: Energetic Synthesis Foundations - Hi Carissa Wages! ES Foundations Subscription Next Steps

 

Hello Lisa Renee! 

 

Thank you so much for your work and this community! I found your website a couple years ago and signed up for your newsletter which I look forward to each month. They have made more and more sense to me as I (and we as Unity/One) continue the ascension process and have provided valuable morsels to help me on my way thus far.

 

Now I’m ready for more. <--And by ready, I mean, it’s coming whether I like it or not - ha! (I intend it though - my deepest desire is to be a channel of Love and be of use to increase Light and part of “tikkun olam” - to heal the world.) I had a rough last few months - lots of emotional baggage came up for release and my heart chakra experienced a memorable opening. I’ve been fear-based my entire life and have lots of ego shedding to do. I’m grateful for the knowledge that I am both a recovering energy vampire and co-dependant/empath that gives energy away… I’m not sure if everyone is both, but I am…. was… I’m allowing it to dissipate by bringing attention to it and practicing non-resistance. :) 

 

I experienced my first (abrupt, radical, memorable) awakening where higher self merged with lower self in January 2010 and I haven’t been the same since. It’s been a wild ride. Since then I have heard what I’ve called the voice of God (it may be Source or guides or who knows… I don’t know… but I definitely have voices in my head (ha!) - I feel like this might be the audience that that is funny to. It was NOT funny to the doctors who I kept running to for help and understanding when I had what I (now) know to be symptoms of awakening. 

 

Anyway, I love to read and learn and am grateful to the Universe who keeps supporting me with new materials. Right now I sense I am meant to join this group as we are leveling up. I have a big problem with ego/mind which tries to run the show - it has tried to be in control of everyone and everything and has really done some serious damage but I’ve been watching her and am beginning to get her number. I’ve asked her to leave body alone and stop trying to micromanage body, and I’ve asked her to allow spirit to lead as it should. 

 

I’ve been reading on drlwilson.com’s website for years about souls and rogues and controller souls. I’ve sent him your material a couple times hoping he will connect - you both have similar understandings (though yours is much more complex), But I’m ready for more. 

 

I have done the 12D shielding off and on and now see the tremendous need for it and I intend to do it every day now. I had read some of your free materials before but today I dug in more and there are so many riches right there - but I still thought I’d try membership for access to additional meditations, community, and resources. I appreciate and have read and understand (to the best of my ability at this time) the Member Guidelines.

 

Thank you for taking the time to read my response.

With Love,

Carissa

 

Chocolate and Sweets

...make me crazy. Especially chocolate. I got some dark chocolate covered honeycomb yesterday and I've eaten more than I should and today I'm pretty out there and combative. I see that it doesn't work well with my body - it definitely doesn't work well with my soul. As a highly sensitive person (HSP), I need to be careful about what I expose myself to. People, things I read or see, energies, chemicals, and food all have a strong impact on my state of well-being.

All is well. Well-being is mine. Embrace it.

(And maybe put down the chocolate.)

Authenticity

I want to be authentic and honest. I want my throat chakra to be open. I don't want to lie. I don't want to try to be something I'm not. I want authentic people in my life. I want to be vulnerable. I want to be wise about who I share my heart and life with. I want to be honest. I want to BE LOVE. I want to be happy. I want to fulfill my purpose. My purpose is to be the light of the world and to forgive and to see that I am the son of God. I am the expression of God. I, ego, Carissa character is a figment of the world - trying to usurp the authority of God. God is Love. I AM LOVE. WE ARE LOVE.

I cannot throw my pearls before swine meaning that I can't share what I'm learning with people who aren't ready to hear it whom it would only hurt. I want to remain in a position to BE LIGHT to them and to BE LOVE to them. My pearls look like poison to those who don't have eyes to see.

Blame and shame are useless. Only love. Only forgive. I forgive myself and I forgive Le'Anna and I will learn from this experience. I will not be dragged into blame. I will not be manipulated. I will not manipulate. I will be love. I'm grateful for love. I'm grateful for this life. I'm grateful for Michael. Michael is love and light to me.

Pray "thy will be done"... THY, GOD, SOURCE, UNIVERSE - that which truly IS. So much of what we think we see is just that... a mirage. Fear and separation is a mirage.

I'm not sure about the natal chart. I'm not sure about astrology. I mean, maybe it's scientific and maybe it's right. I prefer spirit. I AM changed. I AM peace.  I AM love. I AM joy!! I don't need the chart to tell me what's going on and frankly knowing about the planets only adds to my "thinkingness" and to my MIND. I want MIND to UNHOOK from this Being that I AM. I want Body to take care of herself (by God's power and love) and Mind to operate as an intercessor between spirit and earth, but ... hmmm... I don't know if that's even right. What does Mind do? I want Mind to take a break... to do a little work here and there when I ask it to, but mostly I want it to be at peace - a peaceful monk.

I should start listening to Eckhart Tolle's classes again. One a day. Maybe. Some a day. Maybe.

Anyway, I want to be at rest. Life is my sabbath. We are in the 7th day - the day of rest. The 8th day is the resurrection of all, the new earth. Anyway, I want to stop resisting everything and stop trying to control everything. I want to live in love and peace and joy. I AM LOVE, PEACE, and JOY!

Much love!

Note to Paul

Welp, I don't think I'm going to send this but I do want to save it... am I supposed to send it? (It's convoluted... there are truths and untruths in it. So, no. But you can keep it if you want to.)

I got to speak with my old teacher and friend and mentor the other day and he had asked - he was thinking out loud - trying to connect the dots to see what God was trying to teach him through my strange-to-him presence. He is such a humble and faithful man who is always looking to his heavenly Father. Such an inspiration. Anyway, he asked how to reach people who are not interested in being reached. On the spot I was led to show him how when we push toward people they subconsciously push back even if they don't know what it's about. (I pushed against his hand and he pushed back... instead of taking my hand toward him. Maybe it was a silly example...but it's what came to me.) Anyway, I've been thinking about it and this morning I woke up and had lots of thoughts about this. Maybe I should just let the thoughts move through since it's moving through consciousness and we are all one in consciousness and he could get those thoughts that way... I think we are connected in the spirit and maybe that's the more effective communication method. Probably for everyone. Hm. Thank you for this lesson. Fascinating.

Anyway, I DID write a retort or whatever this is so I'll put it out here. I love to think through this stuff. I see how I try to cater to whoever I'm speaking to to speak their language.

__________

Making Jesus Famous isn’t a thing…. Jesus didn’t try to make himself famous… he DID encourage people to follow his Father’s teachings. He brought a new spin on old law and it was always rooted in truth.

Teaching people to follow Jesus = on point. Teaching people to make Jesus famous is off point.

You are the body of Christ. Embody Jesus. Go out and love everyone. You wanted to know how to share Jesus with people who find proselytizing to be a trigger. Embody Jesus. Jesus didn’t brag about himself (he DID do the OPPOSITE though and told people NOT to tell others about him (well until he ordered up the donkey but he had his orders at that point - all part of the unfolding). It was never about him (to him)… it was always about God…but he was a prophet and acted/lived out what his Father told him to do (think of Ezekiel - same deal having to act out these things as a sign to the surrounding nations (which weren’t Israel, which I think is interesting… I digress)). Anyway, Jesus has been given to us as an example and his story and life inspire us to live (and die) as he did. 

The key is always to embody Jesus… live as the body of Christ. (Remember to try to see that differently… Jesus was the man who was part man and part God. Christ is the anointing and anointed (which is also Jesus)). 

YOU are also given the opportunity to be part man/ part God. You have the Holy Spirit living in you - you’re activated for the same power and activity that Jesus had/did. You DO walk in it - healing the sick, praying for (in spirit and truth) many, sharing the truth as you know it unabashedly. You aren’t ashamed of the gospel… but keep asking what the gospel was. When Jesus said now’s the time to repent and believe the gospel, what was the gospel? (NOT the story of Jesus’ own death and resurrection since that hadn’t happened… so maybe there’s a bigger gospel…a bigger story that Jesus was pointing to?) Return to me and I will return to you, our Father said. Humble yourself and pray and seek my face and turn from your wicked ways then I will hear from heaven, forgive your sin and heal your land. I guess you know it’s the whole story of redemption, the story of Israel… and Israel is Christ in the bigger sense… (You have to understand that Israel isn’t a nation or land… it is a people… the spiritually alive in Christ. The spiritually alive in YHVH <— the Hebrew world behind “LORD” (all caps)… the word behind “Lord” (lowercase with big L) is Adonai which means master… not the same as YHVH/LORD which is THE God (“God” is Elohim which is plural and can also mean magistrates….we are elohims as the sons of god (apparently… princes really… based on that verse in Psalms 82…you asked if I thought I was God… in that sense I am, haha)… we are not THE ELOHIM which is YHVH which is the God/Leader/Power behind the Pillar of Fire and Smoke for the Israel of the Old Testament. 

Annnnnnyway, my example of how people push back when people try to push their beliefs on them was not sufficient. It was interesting and I’m grateful to God for showing it to us, but BEHIND that we need to return to LOVE. People are drawn to Journey because of your LOVE. The spirit of God is there and manifests in love and alights hearts.

You are a light on a hill and people will be drawn to you if you don’t hide your light. It’s not about speaking Light, it’s about BEING Light… BE LOVE. People will come. People are hungry for love and will come and find out how to have it for themselves and when they do, you’ll be the authentic, vulnerable, beautiful, loving human embodying the spirit of Jesus the Christ that will meet their need.

Michelle's Mindfulness

Michelle Clinard's Mindfulness Exhortation came with some questions to answer... I'm going to answer here:

What would you like to leave behind in 2019?

I have left behind FEAR - or at least the first layers of it... life is a Journey and there are many layers, but I'm grateful that the truth - that fear is an illusion - is beginning to sink in. Fear and my chatty-cathy runaway mind go together and I'm ready to let them both dissipate.

I also want to leave behind... HAVE left behind "self-loathing" ... self-hatred... all the negative self actions and thoughts and am swapping them out for tons of SELF-LOVE!!! I am the source of my own love. We always said "we have a God-shaped hole in our hearts"... but it is a Carissa shaped hole... I didn't love myself and I'm finally learning to!

What would I like MORE of in 2020?

I would like MORE LOVE!! I want to see myself and see all the beauty that radiates from within and shines brightly in the world. I just want to love and accept myself and allow all things. I choose to leave clinging and resistance in the past...  and I want more of clarity. I want to speak clearly and with purpose. I want to clean up my thinking and think positively and with a sense of knowing that everything is always working out for me. I want to abide in the vortex ... and abide in Christ... and abide in LOVE. (All the same thing. ;))

How do you DEFINE what makes a year good/bad? What constitutes a GOOD or SUCCESSFUL year for you?

Growth. Am I moving forward or back? Am I becoming more LOVE or more EGO?

What actions, including with whom/what/where/how you spend your time, are aligned with what you want more of this year, or what outcome you are trying to create?

Learning to GIVE more... especially to Michael.... to serve him more and my friends and family more. Learning to look through the lens of their experience (but first through the lens of self-love through to true love and then through to them and their experience). In the past I've looked through a lense of MY PERCEPTION of their thoughts but it was ego-based and critical and not rooted in TRUTH. I have lived a life based on lies. Based on illusion. This stops now.

I also want to be true to myself. I cancel my request for "an anchor" from years ago. I don't want an anchor. I cancel all requests other than to be a channel for divine LOVE. I want to travel. I want to be used to increase the vibration of the world - I want to be a force of LOVE in tikkun olam - healing the world. I want to see Abraham-Hicks. I want to understand if I am or how I am or how I should be a channel for Abraham-Wages. (I think I'm learning that it's not like that for me. If my guides have a name or if there are guides like that or whatever GOD is manifesting as the Voice or voices ...yeah, okay, voices... the EVERYBODY that is me...they will reveal themselves and the plan to me in the right time. Time doesn't exist, silly Carissa. I love you.) Maybe I will ask Abraham about this. I've thought that I should, but ego said it might be about her...so we'll see.  Anyway... I want to follow the path lit before me by the holy spirit of which I am a follower and member. 

How do you want to FEEL in 2020? What makes you feel that way NOW?

I want to feel JOYFUL. I want to feel PEACEFUL. I want to feel enveloped in the warm gushy happy feeling of LOVE. I want to abide in these higher vibrations. I want to remain on the mountain top. Fear wants to pull me off but I choose to abide. To remain. To stand.

I have stepped into Courage (Dr. David Hawkins calibration of consciousness - 200 courage is the tipping point. From here on out power guides me and POWER, GOD, is with me and I am being called to the level of ACCEPTANCE now... this is a beautiful level... I will live in the vortex of allowing... of non-resistance, of conscious co-creating of beautiful things. The Law of Attraction is in effect. I will attract abundance in all things - health, financial, provision, joy, friendship, adventure, LIFE... a life of joyfulpeacefulhappyloving present moments! 

I feel that way now when I WORSHIP. I am a worshipper. And when I PRAY. I am a pray-er. I love to be and feel alive in the spirit. I am most connected when I am praying for others. This is when I get my visions and direction. So worship and pray, my Love! Worship and pray!!

ps. Yesterday was your 10 year anniversary from when God started speaking to you... when, as Michelle clarified, my higher self merged with my lower self. When God poured into me and I poured out and I haven't been the same since. I'm glad I have that moment to cling to - I've been questioning WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?? for 10 years now and I'm finally beginning to understand.  That was 1/2/2010. And the beginning of when I began to hear the voice of God... who I call God... who could be Source Energy... who could be Abraham... who could be... is... YOU/ME/WE (WE ARE). Anyway, I was recounting to Michael or Tim or both about how the first thing God told me to do using the Voice within was to pick up a piece of garbage. I fought it for a while but eventually, I listened and picked it up. (Then I had to pick up garbage for YEARS... see what RESISTANCE does?!!) Anyway, then He said "It's not about YOU!") Anyway... it's been 10 years! Wow! JOY!

pss. I met with Paul Crouthamel yesterday - I was inspired to make an appointment with him and I just LOVED it! I just LOVE HIM and I'm so grateful for his influence in my world. I haven't seen him in 8.5 years and it just felt the SAME. I could tell that he felt that way too ... he said I haven't changed - that I'm still filled with joy. (I AM but what he saw was what God wanted him to see. I didn't feel moved to explain that I have walked through so much suffering... but that's of no matter... it was all part of my beautiful journey!!) Anyway, it was lovely. PAUL is a channel of LOVE and I'm so fortunate to know him and to have walked with him for a while so that he could rub off on me! God bless him and bless us all and help us to surrender more of our "self" so there is more space for YOUR SPIRIT to SHINE.

Okay... that's all.