Blinking Arcturus

Well it's 666 today - ha! 6/6/2022=6 (I heard Raven say that 666 thing and just now put it together. It's 4:53am and Paul just left for work. Arcturus in the Bootes constellation is brilliantly flashing its rainbow rays at me. I've seen 4:03 4:04: 4:14 2:22 4:22 4:33 this morning already. It's 4:54 now. LOTS of 54's yesterday - at least 6 hours or more of 54's. 

I got an AG pick about the sexual misery and breeder programs.

PAUL used the AG-random yesterday when we were fighting and got "emotional manipulation" which was aaaaaaamazing and awesome that he used that tool on his own. Of course he aimed it at me - "this article is all about what you are doing to me"... but it's a start. I mentioned/asked if it could be talking about him and shared that I usually see it as a mirror to show me something about myself so maybe a seed is planted, I don't know. But that was cool.

The fighting was not. We talked 2.5 hours past Paul's bedtime but we resolved it for now. There's just much to heal and understand. We need to learn to communicate. My abrasive, straightforward, "just do it this way" communication method may work for my New Yorker friends but it doesn't work for Paul. He feels like I'm always barking orders at him or yelling at him (which I'm not) but it perpetuates victim consciousness.

Paul pulled the mediation last night "clearing seed fears, slavery and poverty consciousness". I pulled "clearing attachments to consciousness" which is about negative ego, I think. I've still got so much work to do with that. Even yesterday as we were fighting I definitely fell into negative ego and I shut Paul off and shut my heart off. 6/6 5:00

We're blessed to have one another and have a beautiful life opportunity - a canvas in which to work to create something great and heal our wounds and traumas. 

Big stuff these past few days as we've made contact with Paul's ex (who he hasn't seen in 10+ years but he is still married to - it's time to dissolve the marriage!) It's kicked up emotional dust for both of them and I know it's not easy, but I hope it leads to resolution.