Moving forward

Songs coming forward... 

First of all "Fight Song" gave me such a beautiful release and hope.
Then I put on YouTube Music and 

Ayla's "Other People" and now King and Country's "Ceasefire" are so perfect.
I need to make sure I am filled with love. And just make choices that are better aligned for my health and happiness. 

How do we save a life pointing fingers

How can we end the fight this way

When blame is the truth we're preaching

And lies are what we're believing

No one ever wins when the goal is to settle the score

These are good lyrics.

I slept from maybe 1am to 5am and got up early... 6 to let Rue out and then laid there awake until 7 when I got up to take care of the animals. A cold front is coming in but the sun is shining. I'm just going to take care of myself. Work. Self-Love. 

Needtobreathe - "Sittin in the backseat" ... Paul and I just don't have experiences like that... laughing and enjoying life. It's the nature of who we are. Plugged in to these computers. This is why I dream of being with Jeff... he loves the outdoors too. But he's surely slept with people who have been jabbed and he surely takes pharmaceuticals and he definitely goes to the hospital and wants to kill himself... drinking himself to death. He's not well either.

I long for a good, loving, relationship. I will have it. But I must have it with MYSELF. 

Neil Diamond's "Love on the Rocks" came on.

My creative energy is being siphoned. My vitality is being siphoned. RECLAIM ME. 

My quote of the day is a very good point and reminder:

"The very purpose of religion is to control yourself, not to criticize others. Rather, we must criticize ourselves. How much am I doing about my anger? About my attachment, about my hatred, about my pride, my jealousy? These are the things which we must check in daily life." ~Dalai Lama

So good.

"This is Me" from the "Greatest Showman" soundtrack. Thank you God!!

Just love him well and stick to my guns that we aren't good for each other at this juncture. I want to feel loved and liked. I feel like he doesn't even LIKE me... he isn't attracted to me. There are mind-games. Surely on both sides. We are mirrors. So may he be well and healed. 

Jannelle and Bean were just so kind when I shared my news. Bean offered to buy me a plane ticket to come up and just veg with her. Such love. Jannelle offered a hike. 

Nakho's "Wash It Away" came on.... "it will wash away, lift them up"... "we're a part of something special"...."we are guardians".

Nahko's "Build a Bridge" came on too. These are my heart songs.