It's the way he talks to me

 ...not okay.

Yelling. Blaming. Shaming. Twisting. Turning everything against me as though I am bad. 

Today it was raining and I thought he would not be working this afternoon so I got his agreement to get tickets for the first day of Deadpool vs. Wolverine...thinking it would be fun. We agreed to see how the day went. No big deal. But then he called me up hours later angry that I had put this on him. Victim mentality. Saying I was willful and pushing my will on him and blah blah, I'm evil and bad...blah blah. 

I'm over it. Yesterday he came over at 9:30pm. He didn't have time for me until then. He hasn't had the decency to respond to my verbal and written requests around use of my car (since Saturday)... he used my credit card to buy something for his boss/work and got snippy and sarcastic and rude when I asked him to pay it back ("of course I'm going to pay it back! Do you really think you have to verbalize that out loud and ask me?" blahblah)...

HE's abrasive.

I want peaceful and loving and good friends that care about me and that we can care about each other and the world. I want male and female friends. I AM feeling ready to be done. Ready to be single. Ready to be at peace. 

I AM at peace. I AM happy and well-adjusted and patient and kind. Ryan's view of me is skewed because his lens is HIS lens which has a brand name of "victim mentality" and "poverty consciousness". This is MY lesson to learn to value myself enough to put my foot down and say that I don't want to be around that. There's nothing worth it... I appreciate him looking out for me when he feels like it - breadcrumbs of attention, but usually it's insults. Yesterday I told him I was interested in maybe auditioning at the Smithfield Little Theatre and he gffawed and said I'm so attention-seeking. He just isn't for me. Let him delete Telegram and cut me off from the gate code. Let him do what he wants. I need to move on. I'll do therapy alone. And lick my wounds and care for my own heart. 

Read my book.

Heal. Pray. Explore alone. Do ME. 

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Ag pick: https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Metatronic_Repair