But God.
That's all there is. That's all I have to live for. He provides everything I need - and as I write that, I realize that I need NOTHING... BUT God. <--which is not the traditional application of that phrase/Biblical truth.... but GOD!
My whole life has been ROCKED! I am FREE! I have joy! I have trials, but I have GOD- so I have PEACE. I am picked up by the Spirit and surrounded by the most inexplicable thing....a weighty feeling of love saturated with feathery pillows of comfort, peace and controlled excitement. Today I was just sitting at my desk doing my work when I felt God come over me and He took my breath away. I instantly started praying and crying and basking in His great love.
This must be the miracle that comes from obedience!! - or not - because actually, the miracle is a gift of grace. A GIFT. I can't actually do anything to bring on miracles, can I? So I guess that when I am obedient I am just more open to the awareness of the miracle of the Lord- His grace and presence increase in my life and world - and not because of me, but because I am attuned to it.
Today's rant:
I read the best thing by Oswald Chambers today - "Let God have perfect liberty when you speak. Before God's message can liberate other souls, the liberation must be real in you. Gather your material, and set it alight when you speak. " -- this was exactly what I've needed to hear - because I am newly "in the Spirit"... I have been a Christian for years- but I didn't truly know what that meant and how to live it and release His great power into my life until recently (by the way- all you have to do is ASK and be willing and open to Him changing you).... anyway... now I want SO badly to share this great Joy that I have in my life and I feel like a baby because I can't get out my sentiments the way that God wants me to (through His Word) and I have been frustrated with it. (Especially because God has given me an ANGEL in my life- no, I'm not kidding... He really has... he has brought me a friend who shines her light into my life and lights up the Word, bringing Jesus closer.)... anyway... the point of this is that I have been frustrated that I don't have the "vocabulary" of Christ that would allow me to represent and explain the incredible miracles that I've been experiencing. But God reminded me through today's teaching (one of many) that I must first "gather my material"... I must first take the time to ingest and digest the Word so that it can live and shine through me... basically - I need to read and know Him through the Bible, prayer, and His voice in my life! Have patience, Carissa! Have patience and continued thirst for the great God of the universe!
By loving Him, everything else becomes love. Everything else becomes clear. Everything else falls into place.
Living out God's will is all that I have. There is no other choice.
I am SO LOVED!!!
1 comment:
...I stated that God was all I had to live for- that He provides everything I need! I stated that I "realized" that I needed nothing.
I just want to clarify that that was my momentary mindset...all this is just a momentary mindset. When it hits my head to login to my Blogger account and babble, I do. However, it's not always an accurate representation of my life. The FACT is - I don't need anything/anyone except God. The REALITY (as lived out through my world and actions) is that I don't live that way. I NEED to live that way- but I think that the first time that I actually FELT that way was yesterday when I was writing that. No. That's a lie- it was just the first time that I took it outside myself. I also KNOW it when I am in the Spirit - surrounded by the Holy Spirit of God and allowing Him control of my senses. Beckoning the Spirit- now that's something that I wish I could master, but alas, it is not of me, so I have no control - I only have the ability to surrender.
I must surrender more.
I must surrender more often.
Anyway, I just wanted to say that I don't think or mean to make it look as though I think that I have "arrived"...as though I am "doin' it right"... I'm NOT.
The difference in me is that now I DESIRE to do it right.
I love God so much! (He loves me too! SO MUCH!)
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