Peace

I have peace - and more is to come.

I must submit to God's will in everything. Learn to tune into God's prompting... learn to discern the difference between HIS voice and mine. Learn humility. I may be wrong. --> No. I was wrong. I am wrong. I was wrong about going to Africa (now)... for now.

I know this is His will (not going now (early/prior to my missions trip in June))...I went through all that (wading through the will of man) for a reason. I am so blessed!!! What have I learned? That I am fallible. That God is not. That I must seek Him in all things. That God will open the doors that need to be opened...that in all things- seek Him first. Rest in Him. Take His yoke. It's all about Him. Love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, strength. Love my neighbors. Do what is right.

SURRENDER. (first)
Pray.
Seek.
Listen.
Respond.

Love.

I am at peace.
[aaaahhhhh!]

***Later***
I am SO BLESSED!! So incredibly blessed!! God is doing miracles in my life.... everyday... all day!! Example- I just got a text from my friend which jumpstarted [my heart - isn't that a song?] a domino effect of joy. It is my goal and hope that whatever it is that God DOES have for me- His purpose in all this- in all that he gives, and all that he takes away - that it glorifies His name! I LOVE HIM SOOOO MUCH!!!!!!

Do you have any idea how incredibly blessed I am? I have been given NEW LIFE?!!!!! I have the GOD OF THE UNIVERSE LIVING INSIDE OF ME!!! I am ecstatic. <-- I wrote that world "ectatic" in all caps- but by the time I figured out how to spell it, some of my excitement had depleted! lol! ;)

All I'm saying is that EVERYTHING that I am living and experiencing- it is all for God's Glory. My life is an example of His grace.

My focus needs to be on God and His goodness and the miracles that He has blessed me with. If I'm honest and quiet and focused- I'll see that God is in everything around me... that I can look, feel, see ANYTHING and see Him ... and then respond. RESPONSE...that's the key. What do I do when I see Him? Am I obedient? Am I argumentative? Am I blind? Am I so immersed in myself and my thoughts and my "day" that I don't even look for Him? How do I learn to seek Him in all that I do and see and say and experience and love and live? How? I don't know. Practice, I guess. Practice.

My time now should definitely be spent practicing - I need to practice living and loving God in all that I do. I need to constantly acknowledge His amazingness and my not-so-amazingness. Let me look at my surroundings with my new eyes and let me respond to them with God's immutable love. Let me learn from Jesus how to do that. Let me learn from God- from the Bible- from the Spirit- from the incredible people that God has surrounded me with to help me to know Him better. I am SO BLESSED by my relationships with my new friends... their encouragement, trials, and experiences have enriched my life in uncountable ways [is that a word? uncountable? I dont' think so. Innumerable? Is that a word? Probably... maybe just spelled wrong? I don't know. I don't care.] I JUST care about living my love for Jesus out loud. I JUST care about staying true to the Spirit... about submitting to the Spirit... about stepping back and letting the Spirit lead... about... yeah... being swept awaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

Let me be forever transparent- no matter how crazy it makes me look.

You know- I don't even FEEL crazy anymore. I just don't care anymore. I really don't care what others think. I'm living for and by the Spirit (- ummm... hello Ms. Pride- I have not and will never "arrive"- I'm merely TRYING to live for and by the Spirit) - living FOR God and BY the Spirit - trying to emulate Jesus. There's nothing better. Nada.

I don't want to stop typing, but I must. I need to go back to work. I'd much rather just sit and type about  my love of God forever- but. yeah. I can't. darn. :P

I love you too.
<3