Connect to heart through own eyes

 Response to beautiful article here:

https://energeticsynthesis.com/index.php/resource-tools/blog-timeline-shift/2511-healing-emotions-is-intimate

Tears are still streaming down my face from that activity (being intimate with myself/inner child in the mirror). Thank you for this encouragement and reminder. 

I remember the first time that I connected deeply with myself in the mirror… at the time my paradigm was that it was Jesus ministering to me through my own eyes... and it was SO powerful!! (Now I know it WAS the Christ I AM gazing back at me with such love.) This was a good 10 years ago and I don’t know why I haven’t done it more as it really rocked my world. I did try again a couple months ago and - again - it was just so moving… I was given incredible insight and support. But just now, coming to it with the intent of relational intimacy and the exercise of swapping back and forth between the image and the being (which eventually was just ONE as the lines blurred in the cloud of emotion/love… this was true intimacy with myself. I apologized to myself for not being a safe person, for my judgement and disregard of my true heart. I can’t really remember all that was said, but was beautiful and my love grew for myself which means my capacity for love as a whole grew too. (Reminds me of the Grinch whose heart “grew three sizes that day".)

All this to say THANK YOU. This was beautiful and perfect and feel like it’s a foundational piece of our architecture - I mean, it IS. LOVE. GSF = LOVE as you/Lisa said a couple months ago in an Ascension Call and it breathed new life into that concept and prayer because that’s it… that’s the basis of everything. LOVE. And this, above, is teaching us to LOVE in spirit and in truth. Bless you!!

Humble Thyself - Your work is in the Soul Matrix

Beautiful blessed lovely Jane and Evangeline! THANK YOU for reading and witnessing my experiences and I am so grateful to hear that it inspired you, Jane, in your own reflections! Bless you both to the moon…no, not the moon (ha!)… the sun… and back!!

Quickie update today because I’ve got lots to catch up on in 3D.

I am integrating the soul matrix.
ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Soul_Matrix

I THOUGHT I must have been working with higher energies because I feel quite certain that my God-self is with me… Ah… maybe this is my 23rd dimensional Christos-Sophia self in the 8th HU…. Ahhhhh!! Yep. That’s what I believe now. The friend who popped through 01022010 and began embodiment and led me as “the voice of God” since then….She’s teaching me. But the WORK is still right here in 4-6D… the consciousness work. My consciousness is being developed in the soul matrix, but it actually already exists in the higher dimensions. I am already doing work in those other dimensions and when I am especially aligned with source (I guess, maybe?) I get bleed-through deeper understanding and visions from that. I surely also have experienced a ton of astral plane distortions….but I’m also very protected and directed so there are both… there is a war over this “Carissa" being’s consciousness… the consciousness traps have snared me a bunch, but I’ve been on mission this entire lifetime and and have lots of fragments to pick up as a result of not knowing what was going on… but that was part of my job too… polarity integration baby!

We’ve got a couple things going on here… ego wanting to be more “advanced” than I am, and also having an “advanced” being/beings that are driving this ship. But my consciousness is still trapped down here so we continue…ONWARD! My work is in the personality and soul matrix now… the stuff going on on higher planes is all well and good and I’m grateful, but in order to be an effective integrator and frequency keeper and anchor of truth and light from above, I need to first clear the shadows, collect the fragments, reconcile the miasma, and heal the puncture wounds and other damages to my lightbody here in 3D and poor exploded 5D. I feel a battle happening in 7D (I don’t know if it’s a battle…but some sort of action for sure)…but that’s not for me yet. Humble yourself Carissa. Learn to love Cristy (my inner child) deeply and help her to heal and recognize who she really is as a God-being and member of the Christos Collective here to support the healing of the earth (what I call and glommed onto as “Tikkun Olam” (repair of the world) and that’s just what I call it.

I’m reminded almost daily about being involved with the 911 Timelines and I’m super-grateful to the guidance and education I’m getting around this.
ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Armageddon_Software

Thanks be to God and all my amazing guides, teams, support, star-sibs, and Lisa/Tomas - we are on THE WAY. WE ARE.

Ps. I had lunch with a fellow ESF member, Aaron, earlier this week and it was SO LOVELY! Too short! So many downloads! My favorite that I keep thinking about is how our gut flora (and microbe suits, as I call the body these days) are all part of our collective consciousness in the collective of Carissa, so switching the focus to supporting the consciousness of those that are dependent on me (ie. food and supplementation and whatever else they need - exercise, grounding, etc.) is really a paradigm shift for me. When they are unhappy or unbalanced (beat up or drugged up with sugar and carbs, for example), their consciousness is affected which effects my (greater/whole) consciousness in Carissa. Anyway, a blessed time shared!!

Intimidation and Harmlessness

 https://esfoundations.com/index.php/forum/communityconcerns/3361-cycles-of-abuse-of-power-and-intimidation?start=0

What I ended up sharing:

Great topic! I personally haven’t experienced intimidation…. this container seems like a really safe and beautiful place to dance with spirit and allow our God-selves to embody. There are so many resources and other beautiful souls to share the journey with. I am encouraged and inspired whenever I come here to share in the experience.

Lisa, you said that everyone is equal in this container (yes!). I also realize that some people have more experience, knowledge, and wisdom than others and respect that. Just reading the comments before mine, I see how people who are both well versed in the field and those who are just learning both need to feel safe enough to share without feeling like they might be judged. I believe that the universal regulator is LOVE and feel that we have a group of beings witnessing everything that is shared with deep compassion regardless of where the content author is on their spiritual journey.

I’ve got lots of levels of learning going on - my curriculum includes negative ego clearing, learning what true/real love is and what that looks like in action (being), as well as galactic history and energetic architecture classes.

Okay, so let me share a few things that may be of value - they are my own little (egocentric self) thoughts so of course take everything with a grain (or bottle) of salt!

Working with vulnerability:
It does take a lot of courage to share our hearts and experiences…one of my “gifts” if we want to call it that is this willingness to go ahead and share hard things in order to hopefully set the tone to allow others to feel safe to do the same. I’m sure this adds to the judgement and condemnation I feel as it may have energetic consequences even if people aren’t outright disapproving (outloud). But I am working with my delivery and trying to be sure it comes from the right heart. This “gift” morphed into a reversal at a young age… instead of setting the tone for open sharing and transparency, I adopted a cording method (using “shock value”) to collect the energy from people. (I realize this is wrong and part of the nephilm nature I’m healing… which is why I like to call it out.) Anyway, now I am reversing the reversals and my intention, again, is to “use my powers for good”. There are so many layers in all we share… even this has so many more layers (some of which I began to expound but decided it was too much).

Colored names:
I have a personal problem (hangup) with the colored names… it’s certainly a blessing… a flag and challenge for my ego to work through, but the fact that certain people have different colored names (ranks?) which shows up in the “thank you” is a trigger. (One that is MINE and something I need to work with and am grateful for… but I thought I’d share.) In general the “thank you” section is a place of work for me and my negative ego (need for validation, etc.) - lots of layers there to work with, but it’s also such a blessing to know people have compassionately witnessed what you share.

Being ignored:
For me - again - this is probably (definitely) negative ego, but I feel as though I’m being deliberately ignored by Lisa. I mean, I AM. But I have to trust that this is in alignment with God’s will. I DO WANT you/Lisa to call me and check in and say “you’re doing a great job”! (Ha!) Really, I know this discomfort is part of my healing process and I’m being called to “do it on my own!”… and my need comes from the “guru mentality" where I am looking to for feedback from you … and honestly, one day early this year you gave it to me (when I wasn’t looking for it). You pointed me to my inner child/true parent role and it was perfect. So why isn’t that enough? Oh, because this is MY WORK - to remember my own divine connection. I have guidance teams that support me and they are a much better choice to listen to, right, of course! So you are doing me a service at the same time that I am feeling in my negative ego like a hurt little puppy. So… that’s it. I guess what I’m wanting to share is that even though we may feel like there is some sort of power imbalance, it’s also just maybe a call to further work in the houses of ego.

Fear of getting the boot:
I regularly fear that sharing my feelings will get me “kicked out”. I heard in your response above that personal feelings or viewpoints don’t cause that. So that gives me some peace - knowing that it is safe to be authentic. There isn’t some ominous “if you rub me the wrong way you’ll get kicked out” thing looming over our heads. I should also share that I experienced first hand that one can share prettttttty terrible things here (things that FEEL terrible to the self), but we are still accepted in the beloved! In my case I have been coming to terms with relationship to annunaki and nephilm fragments and those uglies came up first before recognizing the oraphim healer who actually signed up for this work. I talked about some pretty rank and awful things that I witnessed and mistook as ME. The shame and guilt that tethered me for these painful energies that weren’t even my own was enough of a prison…. adding the potential of being booted from the God-directed community which felt like my haven was terrrrrrifying! Anyway, the point is that this IS a safe space and one I am eternally grateful for!

Much LOVE to and through All!
With Gratitude,
Carissa

ps. I look forward to watching those videos about the history and introduction to ES as well!

FOR THE JOURNAL:

The following came up when I was writing my response to this thread: esfoundations.com/index.php/forum/commun...intimidation?start=0

This is the stuff I cut out but that came up that I want to hold on to…

Right now God is teaching me about Harmlessness and I need to continue work with this. I know that I’ve got a mix of light and dark… I truly I hope I don’t do it here or with my Krystic friends (or ANYONE anymore!!) but for a long time I have cloaked “harm” in my communications… I make what I say sound like it is a helpful and kind comment, but there is a layer of passive aggression…no…that’s not it… it’s outright knives… stabbing…something to hurt the person as a layer underneath it. I wrote a letter to the CFO of a company I worked for once where I was trying to be encouraging and helpful but did drop a little knife in there where I said that they had "shoddy business practices" (because they weren't paying their team and after hearing the last person crying because they couldn't pay their bills I promised I would do my best to do something about about it!!)...but it was an example of how I have this very polished exterior (of communication - not here, obviously, ha!) but with a little bomb in there. I got fired for that. I've been fired a couple times now. Kinda sucks. I always think I'm standing up for justice. (I mean, I AM, but it's maybe not my place to do so and I do it with this mixed heart ... the WAR heart that Lisa and Mhairi said we aren't supposed to have... we are supposed to STAND FIRM (Exodus 14:14 comes to mind- I've GOT to do more work on the J-Seals)). Anyway, I would like to say I don’t do this anymore and haven’t for a while, but I definitely still witness it when my pain body comes to visit (and my pain body likes to create drama and feed on it by torturing my innocent and sweet and kindhearted husband, mostly right before my period. Pain body has always done its “best” work with my partners.)

This was brought to consciousness because I want to make sure that my feedback on that thread wasn’t in any way harmful. There is a meditation that I am going to do soon - maybe tonight:
esfoundations.com/index.php/community/pl...rascensionmeditation

Okay, back to it… all this to say, I don’t trust myself. What if what I’m saying isn’t really the radiant beam of light that I think it is. I’m working to correct so many reversals and counterfeits but it’s definitely a work in progress. But then I fear by calling myself out on this that people will see through me (I’ve given them the X-ray goggles!!) and then start judging everything I say and then … what? It doesn’t matter. This is back to Core Fear Numero Dos - fear of what people think of you. Let it go. Who cares. I do. Well stop!

Stop for a second. Is it helpful to put your negative ego and neurotic thoughts out here in this space? I don’t know. I’m not taking the time to think about it now either - I’ll think about it later. Okay.

Okay, I don’t think people here will judge me, at least people who are in alignment with me because we are all doing this work together, in love. I can be a snarl of a wreck of a tornado and know that I am still loved and accepted in the beloved! This is why I love this place (container) so much! My best friends and star-siblings are here and we’re working this out together and helping each other along the way.

So since I’m journaling now I think I’ll say that I have this bully script running too!! I was bullied for much of my childhood - 3rd-8th grade especially and it was a huge challenge for me and the lens with which I viewed life during those formative years. I didn’t think I had become a bully (as they say that we become what we experience or something)… but based on what just came out of me, especially about my pain body and the energetic daggers and cords that I used to meet my esteem needs, I think I have. I still struggle with feeling bullied though…. I often default to that … my last job I always felt bullied by the people there… but must have energetically created that.

It’s SOOOO windy here.

So… yeah, just back to the negative ego clearing work. Thanks be to God for the lesson!

ps. I had the most amazing blessing of a session with Joe Machney today! I haven’t had a session for months and it was so so SO good and worth the wait! I cried and snotted a whole pile of tissues! It was so on point and lovely to feel heard and understood. I don’t communicate the deep matters of my spirit well (or try very hard to do so because it’s too much)… sometimes I share some things, but to have them held before me and to be known and seen - my guidance teams, of course, share this information through Joe back to me and it provides an opportunity to see (and feel) in new light that which we already know and live. There are exhortations, encouragements, and contextual understandings that are so supportive in those sessions. Anyway… it was incredible. That’s all. I feel so loved! We’re all going through such tough stuff as we transmute darkness and port discordant energies, but this year ESF has been a game-changer for me… instead of doing those things in the dark (without understanding), to have context and foundational core-fear and negative ego processing in the works, it sure makes what we’re going through so much easier…or at least more acceptable. Add to that the community and support through mutually beneficial relationships with people who “get it”, and we’ve got GOLD. Christos-Sophia is with us! IS US!

WE ARE!

pss. Turtles and butterflies are here to teach me this season!

Turtles

https://www.spiritanimal.info/turtle-spirit-animal/

Turtles have come into my life.

Did it start with Franklin (Danielle's turtle who I met in September)? I don't think so, but he looked at me with such a deep knowing and since then I've had other turtles come in... the one who I tried to help get through the fence, the one that came to talk to us on our walks (Harold?), the two making love, the one on Duck Road this morning....

Remember when Corie and I fed all those turtles at Meredith? Grapes!! I was afraid I had poisoned them but Danielle's turtles said they like grapes so hopefully all is well.

Today I told Michael that I wanted a pet turtle... but then I realized I HAVE LOTS OF TURTLES here on the property to love... and it's better, they are FREE! But they are my teachers. 

This Turtle Totem website says turtles represent grounding, patience, and perseverance. I also see how they show me how I've created a shell around my heart. (And today I was sending a message to Evangeline and told her how I saw that, then logged into Co-Star where it talked about the "shell around my heart"! WHOA!

I joined the Galactic Heart Group - the first call is in a few minutes. God, please help me to connect there - THY will be done though.

Here's the meat from the Turtle Totem article... really on point, right?

Turtle Spirit Animal

The turtle totem wisdom teaches us about walking our path in peace and sticking to it with determination and serenity. Slow moving on earth, yet also incredibly fast and agile in water, those who have the turtle as totem or spirit animal may be encouraged to take a break in their busy lives and look around or within themselves for more grounded, long-lasting solutions. Traditionally, the turtle is symbolic of the way of peace, whether it’s inviting us to cultivate peace of mind or a peaceful relationship with our environment.

Turtle Symbolism

The turtle symbolism is characterized by the association with the Earth and earth symbols of groundedness and patience:

• Symbol of the world, of the Earth
• Ability to stay grounded, even in moments of disturbances and chaos
• Slowing down, pacing yourself
• Determination, persistence
• Emotional strength and understanding
• Ancient wisdom

The turtle is also linked to the spirit of the water and the fluid nature of emotions.

Turtle totem teachings for walking your path

The turtle totem symbolizes our peaceful walk on this earth. It represents the path we take as we embark on our journey through life.  In contrast to emotional or spiritual development occurring in bursts, the way of the turtle anchors our personal unfolding in a slow, more grounded series of steps and longer cycles of transformation.

The turtle is associated with our physical and embodied evolution on the earthly plane. Call this spirit animal for help to be more grounded. You can also get help slowing down and pacing yourself, so you can take your next step with more confidence.

The turtle and ancient wisdom of the Earth

The American continent is referred to as “Turtle Island” in the Native American folklore. It is said that the Turtle carried the weight of the land of that continent on her back. This image is also present in Hindu and Chinese cultures, where the turtle is the animal carrying Mother Earth and holding the world in balance.

Having the turtle as totem means that you have an affinity with the ancient wisdom of the earth. You are naturally tuned into the elements, land, plants, people and animals. You carry your home on your back figuratively speaking and feel at ease wherever you are.

The turtle totem and determination

The wisdom of the turtle totem teaches us about determination and staying strong despite obstacles or distractions. This animal encourages those who have it as totem to listen deeply to their guidance and trust their path no matter what.

It is a great helper for those who need to provide a steady effort and persistence. You can call on the wisdom of the turtle when you need help to sustain your efforts and succeed in a long-lasting endeavor. By analogy with the biological attributes of this animal characterized by a long life, this spirit animal is also associated with longevity.

If you have the turtle as spirit animal, you may be inclined to base your decisions on a deliberate process of reviews and considerations. It may sometimes take you longer than most to make your move, but the results tend to be long-lasting and solid.

The turtle and the way of peace

The turtle represents the way of peace – whether it’s external or internal. It is considered as the Peace-Maker in Native American traditions. This animal is also often associated with the feminine principle or feminine energy, which foster peace and harmony with all things.

Being inspired by the wisdom of the turtle totem, you can slow down when you feel you are getting overwhelmed by a situation or emotions and rest to gain a more grounded perspective. This spirit guide can assist you in taking time for yourself to better integrate all the aspects of a given situation or issue.

Dreaming About Turtles

Turtles are known for taking it slow……real slow! If turtle shows up in your dreams, it may be telling you it’s time to slow down for a while. Are you moving too fast? Pushing too hard?

The turtle also has a hard shell that it retreats into when presented with danger. If your dream turtle is hiding in its shell, it could be a warning that danger is approaching. However it could also be a message about coming out of your shell. In what ways have you been hiding? It may very well be time for you to come out and share your gifts with the world!

1/11/2020 - ESF Join Request / Introduction

I just re-read this and thought it was very clear and good. Good job Carissa! I wish I could be this clear all the time. God helped me there obviously. ;) 

From: Carissa Wages <crwages@gmail.com>

Subject: Re: Energetic Synthesis Foundations - Hi Carissa Wages! ES Foundations Subscription Next Steps

Date: January 11, 2020 at 7:54:19 PM EST

To: Energetic Synthesis Foundations Sign Up <foundations@energeticsynthesis.com>

Hello Lisa Renee! 

Thank you so much for your work and this community! I found your website a couple years ago and signed up for your newsletter which I look forward to each month. They have made more and more sense to me as I (and we as Unity/One) continue the ascension process and have provided valuable morsels to help me on my way thus far.

Now I’m ready for more. <--And by ready, I mean, it’s coming whether I like it or not - ha! (I intend it though - my deepest desire is to be a channel of Love and be of use to increase Light and part of “tikkun olam” - to heal the world.) I had a rough last few months - lots of emotional baggage came up for release and my heart chakra experienced a memorable opening. I’ve been fear-based my entire life and have lots of ego shedding to do. I’m grateful for the knowledge that I am both a recovering energy vampire and co-dependant/empath that gives energy away… I’m not sure if everyone is both, but I am…. was… I’m allowing it to dissipate by bringing attention to it and practicing non-resistance. :) 

I experienced my first (abrupt, radical, memorable) awakening where higher self merged with lower self in January 2010 and I haven’t been the same since. It’s been a wild ride. Since then I have heard what I’ve called the voice of God (it may be Source or guides or who knows… I don’t know… but I definitely have voices in my head (ha!) - I feel like this might be the audience that that is funny to. It was NOT funny to the doctors who I kept running to for help and understanding when I had what I (now) know to be symptoms of awakening. 

Anyway, I love to read and learn and am grateful to the Universe who keeps supporting me with new materials. Right now I sense I am meant to join this group as we are leveling up. I have a big problem with ego/mind which tries to run the show - it has tried to be in control of everyone and everything and has really done some serious damage but I’ve been watching her and am beginning to get her number. I’ve asked her to leave body alone and stop trying to micromanage body, and I’ve asked her to allow spirit to lead as it should. 

I’ve been reading on drlwilson.com’s website for years about souls and rogues and controller souls. I’ve sent him your material a couple times hoping he will connect - you both have similar understandings (though yours is much more complex), But I’m ready for more. 

I have done the 12D shielding off and on and now see the tremendous need for it and I intend to do it every day now. I had read some of your free materials before but today I dug in more and there are so many riches right there - but I still thought I’d try membership for access to additional meditations, community, and resources. I appreciate and have read and understand (to the best of my ability at this time) the Member Guidelines.

Thank you for taking the time to read my response.

With Love,

Carissa

Forum Post

I’m working a ton on ego clearing… poor Lisa is dragged into this in such a huge way. I’m always worrying about whether Lisa Renee “likes me or not”… ha! It’s truly ridiculous. First of all, she doesn’t know me, so why do I care? Second of all, OF COURSE SHE DOES… Lisa Renee embodies and radiates LOVE and KINDNESS and certainly wouldn’t waste her valuable life energy on judgment or bad vibes on anyone, let alone me. (Lisa, if you ever read this, I’m sorry I’m talking about you in the third person or whatever person it is… not talking directly to you… but this is my process and I’m just documenting.)

I had a dream where Lisa…wait, did I write this already? I don’t think so. Okay... Her office was in my closet (ha) and I don’t know what I did - I must have done something - but she came out and gave me a messy pile of bills without looking at me and walked out my bedroom door. The door closed behind her but then bounced slowly open and I could see she was standing out there with her back to me… just standing there. Then she walked away. But I knew that she had kicked me out of ES and that was my refund. I think I “passed” in the dream because I decided in my heart that it was okay and that everything was in DRT and order and that this must be a time where I had to do work on my own. I knew I still had access to the rich resources available online and thought that maybe one day I could apply again to join… anyway… it was interesting.

I’ve been a bit overwhelmed with the forums - or just life and all the lessons so I’ve not been as much engaged there… but that’s okay… I am learning so much and integrating so much. I just need to find balance to remain attuned to the field and not stray too far. I see so many tricksters and traps trying to snatch me away. This ego thing about Lisa Renee is a big one… I don’t want to let it trick me. I see what it’s trying to do. And Lisa is always only following guidance and even if it feels difficult to me or feels like she doesn’t like me (“feels” being the key word), it’s here as a lesson. God is working through this ego trap to teach me that I don’t need approval or “thanks” or attention (or energy) from anyone other than my own God-self. I am the source of my own power, love, and esteem. I’ve often played the “teacher’s pet” role (maybe not well - ha!), but I wanted to be liked by everyone… and that feeds the ego and also there is a layer that involves energy vampirism (such a strong word!!)… needing other’s energy to fuel me and/or give me self-worth. Anyway, this is a beautiful lesson, thanks be to God! 

My period is going to start soon so my pain body is more active (which is her M.O. as is the case for many with the estrogen and copper increase in our cycles). Anyway, that brings up more for me to watch too. 

WOW. I am really grateful… even from the midst of the pain body and fog (from eating poorly today - it was my hubby’s birthday and I cooked his favorite things which I ate too)…even from this mess, I see that I have made progress and I thank God, Lisa, and all the beings who make up this container of healing and love! 

I’ve had a ton of insights lately but I am unable to share them now…. suffice it to say that it is a beautiful journey and adventure and mission we are on. (Freaking HARD, but absolutely an honor to be here!)

Sweet dreams all!

ps. I never know how to use that chat group thing on the Gathering page but I do go there daily for my affirmation and glossary pick and today I noticed that it was Lisa Renee’s birthday too! (Hers could have been yesterday and I just saw it today - I don’t know.) But HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LISA!! (It’s my husband’s birthday too. And if today is Lisa’s day, she is on a 23 and  I think that’s super-duper rad!! (I’m also on a 23… 9/23.) 23s!!!!!!!!!!!! (I see 23s everywhere!!! Now lots of 22, 23, 24s!! And 9:11 comes up usually once a day or every other day too… (I think that has to do with the timeline and holocaust.). But 23 is special to me so … really excited to celebrate Lisa on the 23rd and I hope today is the day and if it was yesterday, 22 is great too! Whoo… I’m pooped. Sorry for rambling! 

Threefold Flame

I honestly don’t remember what I was listening to or reading today but I swear that Lisa referred to the threefold flame as Love, Power, and Wisdom. I just heard someone else say that was the threefold flame… I told her I thought it was representative of the holy mother, christos-sophia, and holy father (in that order, and related to the emerald, gold, and violet orders which I thought was related to the 5th harmonic universe, but now maybe not… isn’t the solar Rishi part of the 6th HU and doesn’t it also have the same energy being braided down through all the dimensions? Where does it begin?

____

I just rattled that off yesterday in an email window. I think I should develop this a little more. But maybe that means more reading and researching. Certainly! But you can type first... your thoughts... go for it! :)

Okay, so if mainstream ideology of the threefold flame is that it is Love, Wisdom, and Power...  does Wisdom relate to the Holy Mother (Proverbs 8 has me here), and Power relate to the Holy Father (just seems like a good fit), and Love relate to the Christos-Sophia (aka divine union of holy father and holy mother - the expression, the word (logos) of God? 

Just keep doing the work... you are chipping away at it and it's great! BE HERE NOW. Right. Okay. And no pushing and pulling. Okay. So... just sit and watch, you are the observer. The watchman we have been saying. Ezekiel has encouraged you in this. 

It was really hard back then... really hard ... and felt like a huge searing tear from this world ... in the world but no longer of it. Then what happened? Alien Love Bite? Maybe. Maybe just part of your path and journey. You are and have always been a polarity integrator... these were experiences with polarity. You are a watcher. You are an observer. You are GSF! 

So what about the threefold flame. Piddly posh! Don't worry, that's fun fringe work! The MEAT of what you are doing is about ego clearing and polarity integration. You are also doing some work (if you ever do it, sheeesh) around shifting the consciousness to recognize the Christ consciousness vs. Jesus-as-God business. But take your time. Do what you need to do. 

I was going to say don't throw your whole mission away because you fear you will mess up two little people ... but your love for them is beautiful and balances this and it's okay. All in DRT/DRO. 

Back to work!!! XO

The Jesus / Christ Split

Written today to try to get this out of me. I did not share it. I will wait to see if I am encouraged to do so. I don’t want to be a pawn in this spiritual warfare and it seems like there is much action today. I got an audio file from Gabriel that I am listening to. I just need to be and learn and see what unfolds…. but I don’t want to let God down if there is a message I am supposed to give. I have so much negative ego clearing to do yet and have been swimming in the spiritual waters of the evangelical church, mourning (and experiencing) my friend Jimmy Carroll (<— I call him friend though he may not feel the same, but we are connected on a soul level … deeper than friends… but he couldn’t discern it on earth though I feel that he does now. So part of this is feeling accountable to him…to worsting with his spirit and the spirit of Christ to continue to do the work he started and that was born in me while I was under his stewardship.) Anyway… I’ll just post it here in Blogger for now.: 

I feel super fired up right now and my ego was suggesting and then fearing whether I should maybe do a Facebook Live or some crap (which I’ve never done) to share this… but it’s on FIRE in me… it continues to be clarified more and more as I walk with the holy spirit of God. 

There are different ways that information can resonate with people:

Through words and shared language (which is what most 3D based people are most prone to using as their gauge… does this person speak the same language as me?) Language can be manipulated. I know that I can say certain things - drop certain words, that will either solicit agreement or disagreement just on the basis of a certain word being used. For example, above I said “as I walk with the Holy Spirit of God”… I didn’t really need to say “of God” in there… but that concept, the “Holy Spirit” (should be capitalized like this to be completely appropriate) will solicit head nods from my Christian brothers and sisters. However, if I say “…as I walk in alignment with Source”… that throws up red flags…"what is she talking about? Source?" There are lots of ways that people experience God…. and lots of words to describe it (none of which get it exactly. “God” is the most accepted catch-all.)

Information can resonate with people vibrationally. When they hear it, it just feeeeeels right… it can bypass the mind and just feel like it’s true. This can also be manipulated, but less so through human 3D manipulation, and more so through malevolent powers (spiritual warfare) that work tirelessly to enslave us. 

Anyway, I am going to try to be approachable with my language and pray that my vibration is in alignment with our Highest Power, our God-Source and let the chips fall where they may.

PLEASE BEGIN DISCERNING BETWEEN THE WORDS/NAMES “JESUS” and “CHRIST”.

Go into the world and make disciples and baptize them into Christ… or whatever… it’s CHRIST. Christ is the fullness of God on this earth… Christ is the All-One, the Unity consciousness that we strive for. Jesus was in Christ and we ARE called to “follow Jesus” and recognize his example of surrender of his Alll to God (even unto death). Deny thy SELF and take up your cross - your exposure to death (as well as a number of other symbolic meanings) - and FOLLOW JESUS unto death of the ego and the meager life you’ve imagined for yourself. Eternal life - the Kingdom of God (which is accessible to us right here on earth) is what we are made for.

We are called to give up EVERYTHING (in this finite 3D world) in order to taste and see and walk in and BE ONE WITH the fullness of God himself. Jesus (among others) showed us that it was possible and we are left with his legacy to encourage and inspire us. 

If you look at the undercurrent of the New Testament, you will see that it is all about surrender of our flesh and learning to walk in the spirit. What is the spirit? That is CHRIST. Be baptized into Christ. Be One with God in Christ. Not in Jesus… Jesus was a man….a human… and he became God through surrender of his SELF into the benevolent All-One, the Christ. We’re only talking about this earth now, so maybe there are other “Christ”-like entities/consciousness containers, but I am assigned to this one, to Christ, so it’s all I can speak about now. 

Religion…man-made dogma… is designed to control the masses. We need to learn to see through that. We have said the Bible is the “inerrant Word of God”… and while the Word of God IS inerrant, the book that we hold in our hands or on our shelves at home is NOT the eternal Word of God… it is a book in which humans have tried to document/hold/filter the Word to pass it on… and much good can come from it… great lessons… but let us not displace our affections. Our HEARTS are the filter which God has has created for us to experience "Him" with… the tools that are available to us (such as the books) are useful…but they are tools. Discern the difference.

I can’t shake you free from the mental bondage of displaced worship… but God can. I can just ask you to PLEASE begin to look for the difference between “Jesus” and “Christ”. Please let God show you.

I have more to say but you are saturated now. So off I go. Thank you for listening! 

Flat Earth Thoughts

Dear Marcy, I'm so glad you brought this up! This is a topic that I've been "circling" for years now. (Pun intended ;) !) I looked it up in the AG to no avail, but think about it more often than I should. Recently I watched a documentary on Netflix called" Behind the Curve" about the topic that helped me put my stake in the ground a little more. (I found the documentary to be fairly neutral, showing both sides, but without much data about the specific beliefs... hmmm...  maybe insinuating that science had "the truth" and that there were deep undercurrents (and need for ego validation) driving the flat earthers, but they were painted as harmless... yeah... so maybe it wasn't neutral.)

I think the flat earth argument brings forth the foundational premise that we can't trust what "the authorities that be" tell us. The fact that we've been lied to on all these fronts ... it just seems to naturally flow from that. It's appalling when we take a look at our crumbling society and world and see the EVIL being passed off as acceptable food, medical, and educational systems when they are really reversals with dark agendas set up to kill us. We look up and see the poisons being dumped on our heads. We look over and realize we are being intentionally zapped with EM and RF frequencies. The whole thing seems like a racket!!

Add to that the very fishy shuttle launches ... did you see the last one? I could not help laughing out loud because it just looked like the worst fake/low budget show ever! How could the world believe this?? But at the same time... where's the proof of the giant ice wall surrounding us in every direction?

The plane flight plan thing is interesting... 

To me I feel like I see the signature of God in both the macrocosm/stars as well as the microcosm/cells and everything between. I can't imagine the universe being limited to a dome (like in The Truman Show). I'm slightly ashamed that I've even continued to consider this madness, but such smart people are convinced of it - many who are my friends. And when I asked my cousin who works for SpaceX about it, I got crickets. (Probably because he thinks I'm a nutjob, but I wondered if it's because he can't say?!) Ha! 

I thought I had decided that I was definitely NOT a flat earther.... but I also feel like I can't really "know" for myself with the information I have at this time. Nothing is as I thought it was... the experience we are having now in spirit and truth is not something I can conceive of in matter alone anymore... so maybe it is all a dome? Maybe it is all a light show? I just don't know. And that's okay with me for now. I just put it down - I'm definitely wrestling with it in 3D and I've got other matters to attend to (clearing work), so ... yeah. Thank you for this conversation. Very interesting. 

ps. I'm a little starstruck and hopeful that I get to see the documentary you are working on. I loved Dr. Brogan and Sayer Ji separately for many years - like 4 or 5, I guess... I was into Dr. Kelly's holistic psychiatry practice and her particular healing protocols as they were similar to what my guidance was teaching me. And Sayer was on "The Truth about Cancer" pet and people series and I just loved his energy and information. Anyway, now they are married and just the best couple ever and I'm smitten with them and bet you are having a blast! 

8th HU

For documentation purposes I just want to note that I solidified some dots last night and believe that my work, in some way, is related to the 8th harmonic universe, 22D-24D. I am still very much clearing and creating pathways in the personality matrix as well as the soul and monad levels - but it seems that ultimately my source energy is coming from or meant to repair architecture in the 8th HU. 

I am not sure if I noted it here a month or so ago but vibrant green and purple light seems to be emanating from me (my hands especially, or maybe that’s what I can see), and there was a day where I was in a beam of gold… maybe balanced energy that day. But in general the last - maybe even couple - months I’ve been battling with gold light being in my 12D shield. I thought it was defiled since we’re supposed to have platinum and aurora light there so I tried to make it go away… (I’m constantly battling with my dang 12D shield) but a week or two ago I realized that maybe it was supposed to be there too… so I’m embracing what is. 

Animal communication/telepathy practice is going well - very interesting.

Lots of opportunities to surrender and work with core fears (my two major ones are “fear of death” and “fear of what people think”).

So far this year I’ve had significantly less challenge with the fall energies… not a cakewalk by any means, but I’m not holed up in my bed. I think this has lots to do with my intention to (a.) face fear, and (b.) observe (to ultimately let go) of filtering everything through the mind. <— I’m guilty of trying to micromanage my body and the world by the power of my mind/egoself. 

I’m learning lots - grateful to our Source, guides, teams, and the divine support here helping me collapse timelines, collect soul fragments, close harmful portals, heal and protect my lightbody, and teaching me so much! I have to be careful because I’m so prone to spiritual pride and it creeps in as I see sometimes how God is working and loving through me/my vessel. This happened before 9 or 10 years ago and I started skimming the glory that belonged to God off the top to feed my ego (which subsequently returned to monster-status!)! So I really want to recognize my role as a compassionate witness and channel for the divine to work through. I guess the trick is making sure I am a portal of light not a dark portal which I’ve been prone to being. So… I continue… much work to do. I’m blessed and supported here in this space and eternally grateful to God and Lisa and Tomas and all the wonderful souls here who make up this healing and educational container built on the foundation of and in OMNI-LOVE!

Thoughts about Walk-In

In response to someone's post asking for others' experience with the walk-in process. I think I talk too much about myself... I need to learn to listen more and respond to their experience instead of just rattling off mine. Anyway, I posted something like "Thank you for this thread - it's so interesting learning about others' experience"... and then it posted! So this is my second post:

Well shoot! I don’t know how that happened…I thought I hit the “return” button to go to a new line but somehow it posted! Maybe I’m not supposed to write about my experience?? What is going on here?  I don’t have anything super-profound to share… well… let’s try…

It took me 10 years to even understand that my “walk-in” was a “walk-in”. I had no idea what happened to me, but it changed the course of my life. I was in church and praying - surrendering to God - specifically surrendering bitterness - when all of a sudden something poured in through the top of my head and “I” poured out my feet! I was left sobbing and snotting all over myself and I haven’t been the same since. I started being able to “hear the voice of God” and everything in my life radically changed. I used to swear like a sailor, and I didn’t swear anymore (though it creeps back now and then)… I had a powerful love and blossoming understanding of the Bible (which I had read for years, but now it was ALIVE!!)…  I was directed to do things (like quit my job, go to Africa, live by faith for a year, move to Pittsburgh, marry a stranger…etc.) and say things (“messages” for people) and as I listened to and obeyed the voice I was whisked away to amazing new places and experiences - taught by God himself!! (My context was Christianity, and I learned first hand that “the Holy Spirit teaches you all things and you don’t need a human to tell you”.) I won’t get into all the radical adventures and experiences I’ve had as a result of this… but I guess I’ve touched on some above. I just became what I described as a “cell tower” for God… I felt like God was amplifying Spirit though me and I was led to direct prayer to certain people and help worshippers connect with the Divine Source… etc.  There were supernatural insights and experiences that I had no context for and I may have stepped over the line. I definitely struggled then (and struggle now) with “spiritual pride” … my ego is a monster! I was unfamiliar with new age teaching (and demonized it, of course, as “witchcraft"), but I think what I was doing was “Lightwork”… but also pushing and pulling energies with a MIX of ego and spirit. I used to “crawl in people’s skin” in prayer to connect to, understand, and heal them. Now I’m not sure if this is appropriate behavior. <--I’d say heck no, but I am learning Animal Communication this season and part of tuning in requires connecting through them in a similar way, stepping into their skin, so to speak… so I don’t know… no one seems to feel that that is inappropriate in that realm… but I don’t know. I’m watching and learning. This is my job.

I digress (I tend to do that. Ha!) Also, I thought this would be short. Darn. 

After this January 2010 walk-in, the first couple years felt like what some call a “mountaintop experience” - I was so close to God… it wasn’t easy, there was lots of suffering and tears as I broke out of the shackles of flesh …I wanted so much to “be perfect as my Father in heaven was perfect” and believed it was possible to become “sinless”. (Something that not many religious folks were on board with - one needs a sinner to have the story about blood sacrifice work as a hook to their traps).  Anyway, I then descended into a pit for some years… still close to God, yearning to know and serve “Him”, but without alll the feel-good sparkly stuff. I learned firsthand about darkness, pain, and suffering - now I see that I had to do this with consciousness in order to be a witness for the All-One. I’ve known that God experiences through me… watches through my eyes. I think I”m designed to have God feel through my heart as well, and even before my walk-in, I sensed the connection there, but my heart is in need of upgrades to do that effectively and so now I believe that part of my very strong emotional body is the foundational architecture for the heart upgrades I am getting. I had a massive one last December and know there is more to come. Once I am a fully activated God-to-human-to-God receiver I think more work can be done. Much of what I do here isn’t connected to my consciousness, but sometimes I know that very cool alchemical changes are happening (I guess this is gridwork - again, these are words and contexts given by ES, I just know them within my own experience and there weren’t words for it).

I’ve been on a spiritual journey my whole life (I see now), and I suspect that I’ve sent help (walk-ins) along the way to support myself through this life as I sincerely believe I’ve got a pretty hefty Indigo contract going on here… but the experience that happened 01022010 was a doozy for sure! I’m learning now, through ESF, that this “God” that I thought I heard/connected to was really ME… I suspect my Avatar self because of the level of intelligence that is/was accessed, but frankly it could have been my soul or monad layers popping through.

Sorry for the book, but thank you. Talking about it helps me to process and bring accountability to it. Much love to all! We are all one in the light! Bless you dear hearts!! 

Indigo Contract Thoughts...

Response on Indigo3-related thread... 

Thank you for this thread Gigi! May the wisdom required for you to best support your son be provided to you in LOVE (and of course in DRT...which seems like it's now! Ha!)

Stephanie! WOW! YES! Thank you so much for your sensitivity to spirit and clarity in your sharing! I can relate to this on many levels as I have an Indigo3 contract too ... hopefully ending soon! Ha! I was doing the Alpha Omega Clearing this afternoon and wondering if the 3 contracts that were released while on that call were the only ones for the whole container for all of time or if more can/will be released through it (mine please! mine!!).

I loved what you said about how much more difficult (but also how much more productive) it is to know you have this contract while still in it. For me it has provided many answers and context for the strange life I've signed up for here and now allows me to be a witness and provide intel about some of the shenanigans that come up through me. As I've calibrated to the ESF field I've definitely experienced more relief, probably because of the understanding! I'm not in (as much) confusion saying "what is going on here?!!" and getting more and more discouraged and weak... instead I see the gift and opportunity to serve through conscious witnessing. Sometimes it takes some time to connect the dots and remember my role, and I still have a ton of negative ego clearing to do, but I am now so grateful for the opportunity to serve in this way. (Much of which is still way beyond my comprehension.)

Interesting about the heart space, I think I've got something like that going on too. I got an upgrade to my heart center last December... big one, possibly an entire swap out of the technology, but I still have more work that needs to be done there... I feel like this is also related to my wings in some way and higher heart... more to come. There's something with the rod in my heartspace too... so... we'll see, we'll see.

Anyway, great thread!
  

Edit: I'm having some trouble finding the thread that Gigi referred to where Stephanie was talking about her Indigo contract yesterday? I'd be grateful if anyone could direct me that way!


_____

10/15/20

I read these today and they were MIND-BLOWING!! Awesomeness! Helpful!!
https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Indigo_3_Contract_Session and
https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Indigo_3_Contract

The session one was especially neat because I felt like I was having a session with Lisa - it was supportive in that way and I could relate to so much of it. 

I dreamed of Lisa last night. Her office was in my closet. I asked her for a suggestion for a local bodyworker aligned with ES (in real life, I got up in the middle of the night and couldn't let it go until I asked), and then when I went back to sleep her office was my closet and she came out and give me some dirty rumpled bills/money and then walked out with her back to me. She wouldn't look at me. She closed the door behind her but it opened and I saw her standing there for a minute, and then she walked away and the door closed again. I understood she was canceling my membership and refunding me and I was able to stay neutral and just knew that everything was as it was supposed to be and maybe I could get back in if it was meant to be but I knew I had access to the Ascension Glossary so that was good. Anyway, interesting. I had some other dreams too. Yesterday I was asking for my pineal cages to be deactivated and pineal gland to be decalcified so maybe it's happening!

Today I am getting more on Indigo... and learned that the Oraphim are related to the Emerald Order (I think part of my Indigo contract is Oraphim rehabilitating Annunaki and Nephilim.). I see green and purple a lot in my field - my hands mostly - so I think I've definitely got the Emerald and Amethyst Order going on... and the Gold Order (or whatever it's called), which is related to the Christos-Sophia is also nearby... I had a pillar of gold that I was sitting in - strongly - a week or two ago. And I've been feeling that my 12D shield is more gold... so... I don't know.

WATCH, LEARN. You don't need to "KNOW", but it's fun. This is gnosis... and it does help me step further into courage and resilience. Thanks be to God. 

 What holocaust is this that we’re in?

We are being exterminated again, on a massive scale. Not one people group, all people groups! There are so many ways that humans are being killed… “Food system” (how much of the grocery store actually carries REAL food? Most of it is processed and laced with toxic substances (like sugar!)…and even the “fresh” section has genetically modified items that are stripped of nutrients and covered in pesticides.) The “Medical system” is there to shoot us up with poisons and make us dependent on the toxic substances (“big pharma" that are killing our vessels (in many cases). The “Educational system” is there to brainwash and perpetuate the slumber. All the poisons that are dumped on our heads, water, air, food… the electromagnetic poisoning, we are being murdered…. and so many people are willingly going along with it (I am too because there’s so much I still need to recognize and respond to.) 

I saw a picture of a group of jews during the holocaust and I wondered “was I there??” (I think I might have been, or else it was my guides just prompting me to start pondering this more seriously… today’s holocaust.) https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Historical_Timeline_Trigger_Events

The things I mentioned above are coming through the world’s human systems… backed by NAA, but outright attack using human pawns. But we’ve got a ton of invisible attack going on too. I know I do and I’ve heard and seen some of my friends are too… 

It’s like a CONSTANT beam of mental attack (for me)… I get messages about being unsafe (you’re dying!!! You are having a heart attack! Your vessels are exploding, you are having a stroke, etc.), or a scary vision (you’re going to drive off the road, or a car is going to crash into you, or pictures of bashed bloody people), or suggestion (it’s not worth living, quit this, you’re no good, your loved ones are dying, etc. (Also I watched the sexual misery program operating too… it’s mind-control!) I see now how this is working. I see/hear/sense the thought and try not to engage and instead ask to strengthen my shield and state that I am GSF! It works for a minute but then it starts over… could be the same thought, could be something else. It’s BRUTAL. Constant! (I was weak too… have a houseguest this week and am not able to do the spiritual housekeeping I need to as diligently.) 

This is why Lisa talks so much about having to disengage the mind in this incredible talk. (I have to listen to this over and over and over as it applies to me on so many levels - I KNEW that magnetic frequencies had to do with what went on for me in the fall. (But it’s because I’m still so dependent on filtering through the mind and ego.))

Anyway, I wonder if this is considered the holocaust related to the 911 timeline? I’m slowly catching on to the the lingo and events and putting pieces together… very slowly… but surely, and that’s what matters, thanks be to God!