Fuel

I need to change my perception of "food" to FUEL. Think of it as the best way to fuel and energize and support my body. Think of things that don't fuel me well as hindrances...I need a paradigm shift. 

I feel bad... fat... fluffy... uncomfortable.

8:23, 8:33, 1/11:44, 1/10:10, 1/12:11, 1/12:12, 1/12:13, 12:21, 12:44

Finished Firefly Lane today... sobbed and sobbed. So much crying today.
I woke up crying because Rue came to me and I hugged her and we loved each other... so much love and hugs and comfort...And Ryan was there and Moses. This was a dream. And Ryan held me in real life and got me a paper towel for my snot and tears at 7am. 

Lots of grief moving through today. Thank you God. 

___

Ryan kissed my tears away all day yesterday. Very sweet. So many layers in our love and relationship. Grateful for the sex. We are scheduled to go to Tennessee to see Mama Bear today or tomorrow ... long trip for a couple hours but it feels to be the right thing to do. So happy to be in the life and arms and adventures of my beloved.