me

Here's a picture of me today:

Here's a picture of me a few months ago:

See what cults do to people???

I shouldn't have listened to Jen to eat all the CRAP.... or should I? She DID help break the SHAME associated with food (though the shame demon wants to come back now)... I need to take control of it - whatever demon it is that fuels this - the food idolatry demon (?) -  but I need GOD through the power of His HOLY SPIRIT to help me!

And for the record, look!! See what I did up there?? I'm blaming JEN for what I did. I KNEW that I shouldn't eat processed foods... I KNOW that God wants me to eat 6 small meals a day of food from the EARTH.... but I, CARISSA, am DISOBEDIENT. I listened to MAN (Jen)... and while I think she had an inkling of some sort of psycho-sabotage me motive buried deep inside her (I'll never prove it, I just sensed it when she kept encouraging me to eat cookies and junk- she KNOWS that's not good. There was something evil there.).... anyway... I think on the surface and as far as she knowingly was concerned, she WAS trying to help me. I just needed to help MYSELF. (Yes You're right. Lord, I forgive Jen. Help me to forget it and take responsibility for my own actions/ rebellion/ disobedience/ idolatry/ desires... I wanted the cookie more than I wanted to be obedient or healthy or please you. God, I believe- HELP MY UNBELIEF!)

I digress (on yet ANOTHER self-centered Carissa rant...even if it DID end up being to God) ... But Carissa, STOP BEING SO STUCK ON YOURSELF!!!!

a-hem.

Also, to be fair, I just snapped that picture of me when I'm sooooo tired and it's late and my hair looks weird (but it IS falling out, so it's NOT healthy). Maaaan. :(

BTW, that nice picture was taken in late April or early May (during my juice fast) - LOOK at how at PEACE I look!! And this [ugly] one was taken today (8/2). Three months... what a difference. wow.


***
LOOK at this Carissa!
STOP BURYING YOUR HEAD in the sand like an OSTRICH!!!!
LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO YOURSELF!!!!

(Hopin' for some godly sorrow to kick in!(2 Cor 7:10)) <-- I am making light of it, but it's nothing to be making light of. This is serious.

Goodnight for real.
<3