Subconscious explorations

I subconsciously want to feel myself die while I'm still alive/awake. I'm trying to "master" death... or "practice" it to understand it. This is why I'm obsessed with it and create fear and anxiety and issues in my body so that I can feel into it. 

Currently I'm feeling into breast cancer. 

12:09

I saw 9:09 9:08 9:19 too.

Healing and working with shadow so much. 
Loving "Existential Kink" book.