Here's my weird (very weird) video that I did as a response to Tamara Lowe's 6-Minute Challenge.
I thought I should put it on the blog since I am trying to be authentic and capturing a snapshot of who/how I am right where I'm at in my walk/life this day.
...Speaking of "this day", you'll notice in the video that I say "my husband is getting married in 2 days". Incidentally, I made the video 2 days ago, so my husband (probably NOT my husband anymore) just got hitched (probably a few minutes ago... it's 7:10pm now and he was going to have an evening wedding). Ack! Ick! Spew! Blech!!
Good thing I am COMPLETE and filled with JOY and PEACE and the FULLNESS of the Lord, my God! ... am just now officially "single". I have the GIFT of singleness!!! (2 Cor 7:7) Hallelujah!!!
I LOVE YOU!!!! (even if I don't know you)
<3
ps. I find it odd that I blog [too]. Why do I feel compelled to blog this odd nothing to no one (I don't think anyone really reads this thing - well, except some of my sweet friends now and then). Sometimes I wonder if I'm going to die and God will use this to show someone who I was in Him - my progression. I mean, I really feel like God tells me to blog but I don't know why.... I think it's half [Him] and half [me]... some good will come out of it someday... and if it doesn't...then at least I'll have a fun little online ditty to refer back to to learn more about who I was in 2010! :)
Friday, August 20, 2010
Peacemaker
Okay... YES, GREG, I'm a freakin' PEACEMAKER!!! AHHHHH!! Let's compromise. I'm a "Peacemaker" TOO. I am a warrior AND a peacemaker!! :) :) :)
Actually, since I wrote my last blog, God has showed me that my role as His chosen one, His child, His beloved, is to be like Him.... and Jesus wasn't a warrior. He was honest, frank, and true.... but He never "went after people".... He wasn't all Braveheart and war painted and stuff.... He was peaceful. (Ummmm....except that one time at the temple when He told people to stop making a marketplace of His Father's house (John 2:16). Can't blame Him. :) <-- Ack! Heart piercing realization = we (today's followers) make a marketplace of God's House even now, don't we? So many people use their faith as a "marketing ploy" both personally AND in the business arena.
I remember I once had a little consulting company named C3 and I thought I would "brand" it so that it would appeal to Christians so I could make a little niche for myself. (I think the three C's originally stood for "Collaborate" "Communicate" and "Creative" or something silly like that, but I was going to change it to include a "C" for "Christian" and who knows what else.... manipulate, manipulate, manipulate). And it was such garbage. I was going to try to make money off of the name of God?! Ugh!!
God would have protected me though- He would have protected me from me. Anything that is done by my own power is worthless and unsustainable.... but if it is God's breath that creates something that gives HIM GLORY, then (and ONLY then), is it worthwhile and something that I would want to be a part of. I hope I keep this mindset. I'm so silly though- I keep forgetting everything. (Ack! I almost dove into a list of all the things that I forget in regards to my faith and walk... all the lessons that God has to teach me over and over and over again...but that would take eons! I don't have that kind of time (eons!) now- actually- I've got to go! I'm going to a "worship night" at a friend's church tonight with some of my peeps... Ahhhhhh.... FRIENDS/ PEEPS!! I am SOOOO BLESSED!!! <3
BTW - PRAISE = as I was writing my last blog about wanting to have more male/leader mentors, I was praying for it and GUESS WHAT??? Today... 2 (or 3?) days later... I was sitting in a room surrounded by 3 male leaders as they talked about the church and principles that they thought were important. God also sent me a book to read called Radical by David Platt. It is THE. BEST. BOOK. EVERRRRRR(*except the Bible!)RRRR(*at least for now)RRRR!!! God rocks! Seriously, I've read 78 pages in less than 24 hours (which doesn't sound like a lot, but if you knew what else I've been up to, you'd have a heart attack and die at the fact that I found time to read 78 pages of the most amazing book EVERRRRRRR! :)
Oh, and let me tell you... the only reason it is so good is because GOD is IN IT. When I start reading, the Holy Spirit GRABS my heart and holds on.... I envision it kinda like a balloon....if you grab a balloon and squeeze, it makes the balloon get BIGGER and sometimes it EXPLODES!! That's how my heart feels when I read this book. It's just filled with TRUTH. Hard truth. Truth that is difficult to swallow and more difficult to put into practice.... (it says things like "take the Bible litterally" - so that means that when I open my Bible (which I'm just gonna pick a random verse) and it says "Don't be afraid" (Luke 5:10), Jesus isn't saying that to make Peter feel better.... He's commanding Him not to be afraid. He's telling US NOT to be afraid!! <---that's a kinda lame example, but I am kinda lame, so I'm gonna leave it. I have SO MUCH TO DO!! AHHHHH!!! Anyway- it's a DARN GOOD BOOK!
LOVE YA!
<3
Actually, since I wrote my last blog, God has showed me that my role as His chosen one, His child, His beloved, is to be like Him.... and Jesus wasn't a warrior. He was honest, frank, and true.... but He never "went after people".... He wasn't all Braveheart and war painted and stuff.... He was peaceful. (Ummmm....except that one time at the temple when He told people to stop making a marketplace of His Father's house (John 2:16). Can't blame Him. :) <-- Ack! Heart piercing realization = we (today's followers) make a marketplace of God's House even now, don't we? So many people use their faith as a "marketing ploy" both personally AND in the business arena.
I remember I once had a little consulting company named C3 and I thought I would "brand" it so that it would appeal to Christians so I could make a little niche for myself. (I think the three C's originally stood for "Collaborate" "Communicate" and "Creative" or something silly like that, but I was going to change it to include a "C" for "Christian" and who knows what else.... manipulate, manipulate, manipulate). And it was such garbage. I was going to try to make money off of the name of God?! Ugh!!
God would have protected me though- He would have protected me from me. Anything that is done by my own power is worthless and unsustainable.... but if it is God's breath that creates something that gives HIM GLORY, then (and ONLY then), is it worthwhile and something that I would want to be a part of. I hope I keep this mindset. I'm so silly though- I keep forgetting everything. (Ack! I almost dove into a list of all the things that I forget in regards to my faith and walk... all the lessons that God has to teach me over and over and over again...but that would take eons! I don't have that kind of time (eons!) now- actually- I've got to go! I'm going to a "worship night" at a friend's church tonight with some of my peeps... Ahhhhhh.... FRIENDS/ PEEPS!! I am SOOOO BLESSED!!! <3
BTW - PRAISE = as I was writing my last blog about wanting to have more male/leader mentors, I was praying for it and GUESS WHAT??? Today... 2 (or 3?) days later... I was sitting in a room surrounded by 3 male leaders as they talked about the church and principles that they thought were important. God also sent me a book to read called Radical by David Platt. It is THE. BEST. BOOK. EVERRRRRR(*except the Bible!)RRRR(*at least for now)RRRR!!! God rocks! Seriously, I've read 78 pages in less than 24 hours (which doesn't sound like a lot, but if you knew what else I've been up to, you'd have a heart attack and die at the fact that I found time to read 78 pages of the most amazing book EVERRRRRRR! :)
Oh, and let me tell you... the only reason it is so good is because GOD is IN IT. When I start reading, the Holy Spirit GRABS my heart and holds on.... I envision it kinda like a balloon....if you grab a balloon and squeeze, it makes the balloon get BIGGER and sometimes it EXPLODES!! That's how my heart feels when I read this book. It's just filled with TRUTH. Hard truth. Truth that is difficult to swallow and more difficult to put into practice.... (it says things like "take the Bible litterally" - so that means that when I open my Bible (which I'm just gonna pick a random verse) and it says "Don't be afraid" (Luke 5:10), Jesus isn't saying that to make Peter feel better.... He's commanding Him not to be afraid. He's telling US NOT to be afraid!! <---that's a kinda lame example, but I am kinda lame, so I'm gonna leave it. I have SO MUCH TO DO!! AHHHHH!!! Anyway- it's a DARN GOOD BOOK!
LOVE YA!
<3
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Warrior
I am a warrior. A warrior princess- but a WARRIOR none-the-less! Lately I have been trying to get my head around my role as a woman in the church and frankly, I'm having a heck of a time of it. I say THANK YOU, God, for bringing me to this place where I can seek YOUR voiceTRUTHunderstanding.
I will be the first to stand up and say that I recognize [and appreciate and respect] the fact that God has given us different gender roles.... but that does NOT mean that my role has to be caretaker or peacemaker. (Does it?) I am a female who wants to pour out her life as a living sacrifice to God on the altar of the church, community & world!! I was built to ruffle feathers and challenge the status quo (as soon as God frees me from this darn FEAR problem that I have)! I just don't think I was meant to read Bible stories to toddlers (not right now anyway).
I am struggling with where I fit in because, frankly, I feel like an outcast. I know that if I were a man, my passion and drive and faith would make me someone that people would want to work with.... but I'm not, so they don't. [dripping with pride, the voice in my head says: I'm awesome so why doesn't anybody like me?]
Root of the problem: I need/want strong mentors. I need/want mentors who have the same heart as me...the same propensity for action. I'm sure there are some female mentors out there that would help me, but unfortunately I think most of them are married with children and I'm afraid they are in a different place than I am. I don't want what they want.
When I worked in the corporate world, I was told that we were supposed to get a mentor in the job/role that we want to have someday...someone who is good at doing what you want to do. The problem with this is that in my "circle" - all the people who do what I want to do are men. (Yes, a red flag popped up for me here too. Do I want to be a man? Do I want to step outside of the God-given gender roles and operate on my own power? NO! I DON'T!!! I WANT to be faithful and obedient but EFFECTIVE! [sigh] I guess what I need to do is seek to gain a better understanding of the gender roles first.
.... I may not know exactly how God wants to use me (there are many irons in the fire), but I DO know that for now I have the gift of singleness... my loyalty is not divided between a human and God. I am all His! It is imperative that I have a mentor who lives and loves like I do. Someone with a heart for God like I have. Someone who is even more Spirit-filled and focused on Kingdom IMPACT. I want a steam roller for a mentor!!!
I have never read one of her books and only seen her on TV once or twice, but I'd TOTALLY take Joyce Meyer as my mentor!! BooYAH! Hm. But unfortunately there aren't many Joyce Meyers out there. There aren't many strong women empowering other strong women. So I need a male mentor.... and that crosses lines. STUPID LINES!!! <--actually, smart lines. Good lines...lines that I wish didn't exist because I don't want them but that I'm glad they do because they protect us from our sinful, devious, flesh-ridden selves!
....so... today I heard a solution...
Best idea EVER! How about this? We could use the "Huddle" model or group mentoring as a means of empowering female leaders. (I learned about it from Jo Saxton in this article.) Essentially it is a group of men and women that meet together to help eachother grow. (Similar to small group, I know... but I need to be in a "Huddle" with church leadership, I guess).
Long story short = I want/NEED to learn (give and take) from the male leaders that God has put in my life and the gender barrier is BRUTAL and debilitating to me as someone who wants to stretch herself outside the bounds of self.
So I guess the first step in sorting all this out is to just continue to dig in and serve. Right? ...No... wait. Actually, the first step in ANYTHING is to WORSHIP the Lord our God with all our hearts, souls & minds. A.W. Tozer says that "God wants worshipers first. Jesus did not redeem us to make us workers; He redeemed us to make us worshipers."... then (when I'm proficient at that- or rather- livingbreathing worship all the days of my life) I will be in a place to hear how God wants me to serve Him (in whatever capacity that is- male role or not- God will make a way!)
I will be the first to stand up and say that I recognize [and appreciate and respect] the fact that God has given us different gender roles.... but that does NOT mean that my role has to be caretaker or peacemaker. (Does it?) I am a female who wants to pour out her life as a living sacrifice to God on the altar of the church, community & world!! I was built to ruffle feathers and challenge the status quo (as soon as God frees me from this darn FEAR problem that I have)! I just don't think I was meant to read Bible stories to toddlers (not right now anyway).
I am struggling with where I fit in because, frankly, I feel like an outcast. I know that if I were a man, my passion and drive and faith would make me someone that people would want to work with.... but I'm not, so they don't. [dripping with pride, the voice in my head says: I'm awesome so why doesn't anybody like me?]
Root of the problem: I need/want strong mentors. I need/want mentors who have the same heart as me...the same propensity for action. I'm sure there are some female mentors out there that would help me, but unfortunately I think most of them are married with children and I'm afraid they are in a different place than I am. I don't want what they want.
When I worked in the corporate world, I was told that we were supposed to get a mentor in the job/role that we want to have someday...someone who is good at doing what you want to do. The problem with this is that in my "circle" - all the people who do what I want to do are men. (Yes, a red flag popped up for me here too. Do I want to be a man? Do I want to step outside of the God-given gender roles and operate on my own power? NO! I DON'T!!! I WANT to be faithful and obedient but EFFECTIVE! [sigh] I guess what I need to do is seek to gain a better understanding of the gender roles first.
.... I may not know exactly how God wants to use me (there are many irons in the fire), but I DO know that for now I have the gift of singleness... my loyalty is not divided between a human and God. I am all His! It is imperative that I have a mentor who lives and loves like I do. Someone with a heart for God like I have. Someone who is even more Spirit-filled and focused on Kingdom IMPACT. I want a steam roller for a mentor!!!
I have never read one of her books and only seen her on TV once or twice, but I'd TOTALLY take Joyce Meyer as my mentor!! BooYAH! Hm. But unfortunately there aren't many Joyce Meyers out there. There aren't many strong women empowering other strong women. So I need a male mentor.... and that crosses lines. STUPID LINES!!! <--actually, smart lines. Good lines...lines that I wish didn't exist because I don't want them but that I'm glad they do because they protect us from our sinful, devious, flesh-ridden selves!
....so... today I heard a solution...
Best idea EVER! How about this? We could use the "Huddle" model or group mentoring as a means of empowering female leaders. (I learned about it from Jo Saxton in this article.) Essentially it is a group of men and women that meet together to help eachother grow. (Similar to small group, I know... but I need to be in a "Huddle" with church leadership, I guess).
Long story short = I want/NEED to learn (give and take) from the male leaders that God has put in my life and the gender barrier is BRUTAL and debilitating to me as someone who wants to stretch herself outside the bounds of self.
So I guess the first step in sorting all this out is to just continue to dig in and serve. Right? ...No... wait. Actually, the first step in ANYTHING is to WORSHIP the Lord our God with all our hearts, souls & minds. A.W. Tozer says that "God wants worshipers first. Jesus did not redeem us to make us workers; He redeemed us to make us worshipers."... then (when I'm proficient at that- or rather- livingbreathing worship all the days of my life) I will be in a place to hear how God wants me to serve Him (in whatever capacity that is- male role or not- God will make a way!)
Thursday, August 12, 2010
That's MY King!!!
"That's My King"
The late Dr. S. M. Lockridge, a pastor from San Diego, California
said these words in a sermon in Detroit in 1976:
The late Dr. S. M. Lockridge, a pastor from San Diego, California
said these words in a sermon in Detroit in 1976:
My King was born King. The Bible says He's a Seven Way King. He's the King of the Jews - that's an Ethnic King. He's the King of Israel - that's a National King. He's the King of righteousness. He's the King of the ages. He's the King of Heaven. He's the King of glory. He's the King of kings and He is the Lord of lords. Now that's my King.
Well, I wonder if you know Him. Do you know Him? Don't try to mislead me. Do you know my King? David said the Heavens declare the glory of God, and the firmament shows His handiwork. My King is the only one of whom there are no means of measure that can define His limitless love. No far seeing telescope can bring into visibility the coastline of the shore of His supplies. No barriers can hinder Him from pouring out His blessing.
He's enduringly strong. He's entirely sincere. He's eternally steadfast. He's immortally graceful. He's imperially powerful. He's impartially merciful. That's my King. He's God's Son. He's the sinner's saviour. He's the centerpiece of civilization. He stands alone in Himself. He's honest. He's unique. He's unparalleled. He's unprecedented. He's supreme. He's pre-eminent. He's the grandest idea in literature. He's the highest personality in philosophy. He's the supreme problem in higher criticism. He's the fundamental doctrine of historic theology. He's the carnal necessity of spiritual religion. That's my King.
He's the miracle of the age. He's the superlative of everything good that you choose to call Him. He's the only one able to supply all our needs simultaneously. He supplies strength for the weak. He's available for the tempted and the tried. He sympathizes and He saves. He's the Almighty God who guides and keeps all his people. He heals the sick. He cleanses the lepers. He forgives sinners. He discharged debtors. He delivers the captives. He defends the feeble. He blesses the young. He serves the unfortunate. He regards the aged. He rewards the diligent and He beautifies the meek. That's my King.
Do you know Him? Well, my King is a King of knowledge. He's the wellspring of wisdom. He's the doorway of deliverance. He's the pathway of peace. He's the roadway of righteousness. He's the highway of holiness. He's the gateway of glory. He's the master of the mighty. He's the captain of the conquerors. He's the head of the heroes. He's the leader of the legislatures. He's the overseer of the overcomers. He's the governor of governors. He's the prince of princes. He's the King of kings and He's the Lord of lords. That's my King.
His office is manifold. His promise is sure. His light is matchless. His goodness is limitless. His mercy is everlasting. His love never changes. His Word is enough. His grace is sufficient. His reign is righteous. His yoke is easy and His burden is light. I wish I could describe Him to you . . . but He's indescribable. That's my King. He's incomprehensible, He's invincible, and He is irresistible.
I'm coming to tell you this, that the heavens of heavens can't contain Him, let alone some man explain Him. You can't get Him out of your mind. You can't get Him off of your hands. You can't outlive Him and you can't live without Him. The Pharisees couldn't stand Him, but they found out they couldn't stop Him. Pilate couldn't find any fault in Him. The witnesses couldn't get their testimonies to agree about Him. Herod couldn't kill Him. Death couldn't handle Him and the grave couldn't hold Him. That's my King.
He always has been and He always will be. I'm talking about the fact that He had no predecessor and He'll have no successor. There's nobody before Him and there'll be nobody after Him. You can't impeach Him and He's not going to resign. That's my King! That's my King!
Thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory. Well, all the power belongs to my King. We're around here talking about black power and white power and green power, but in the end all that matters is God's power. Thine is the power. Yeah. And the glory. We try to get prestige and honor and glory for ourselves, but the glory is all His. Yes. Thine is the Kingdom and the power and glory, forever and ever and ever and ever. How long is that? Forever and ever and ever and ever. . . And when you get through with all of the ever's, then . . .Amen!
Well, I wonder if you know Him. Do you know Him? Don't try to mislead me. Do you know my King? David said the Heavens declare the glory of God, and the firmament shows His handiwork. My King is the only one of whom there are no means of measure that can define His limitless love. No far seeing telescope can bring into visibility the coastline of the shore of His supplies. No barriers can hinder Him from pouring out His blessing.
He's enduringly strong. He's entirely sincere. He's eternally steadfast. He's immortally graceful. He's imperially powerful. He's impartially merciful. That's my King. He's God's Son. He's the sinner's saviour. He's the centerpiece of civilization. He stands alone in Himself. He's honest. He's unique. He's unparalleled. He's unprecedented. He's supreme. He's pre-eminent. He's the grandest idea in literature. He's the highest personality in philosophy. He's the supreme problem in higher criticism. He's the fundamental doctrine of historic theology. He's the carnal necessity of spiritual religion. That's my King.
He's the miracle of the age. He's the superlative of everything good that you choose to call Him. He's the only one able to supply all our needs simultaneously. He supplies strength for the weak. He's available for the tempted and the tried. He sympathizes and He saves. He's the Almighty God who guides and keeps all his people. He heals the sick. He cleanses the lepers. He forgives sinners. He discharged debtors. He delivers the captives. He defends the feeble. He blesses the young. He serves the unfortunate. He regards the aged. He rewards the diligent and He beautifies the meek. That's my King.
Do you know Him? Well, my King is a King of knowledge. He's the wellspring of wisdom. He's the doorway of deliverance. He's the pathway of peace. He's the roadway of righteousness. He's the highway of holiness. He's the gateway of glory. He's the master of the mighty. He's the captain of the conquerors. He's the head of the heroes. He's the leader of the legislatures. He's the overseer of the overcomers. He's the governor of governors. He's the prince of princes. He's the King of kings and He's the Lord of lords. That's my King.
His office is manifold. His promise is sure. His light is matchless. His goodness is limitless. His mercy is everlasting. His love never changes. His Word is enough. His grace is sufficient. His reign is righteous. His yoke is easy and His burden is light. I wish I could describe Him to you . . . but He's indescribable. That's my King. He's incomprehensible, He's invincible, and He is irresistible.
I'm coming to tell you this, that the heavens of heavens can't contain Him, let alone some man explain Him. You can't get Him out of your mind. You can't get Him off of your hands. You can't outlive Him and you can't live without Him. The Pharisees couldn't stand Him, but they found out they couldn't stop Him. Pilate couldn't find any fault in Him. The witnesses couldn't get their testimonies to agree about Him. Herod couldn't kill Him. Death couldn't handle Him and the grave couldn't hold Him. That's my King.
He always has been and He always will be. I'm talking about the fact that He had no predecessor and He'll have no successor. There's nobody before Him and there'll be nobody after Him. You can't impeach Him and He's not going to resign. That's my King! That's my King!
Thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory. Well, all the power belongs to my King. We're around here talking about black power and white power and green power, but in the end all that matters is God's power. Thine is the power. Yeah. And the glory. We try to get prestige and honor and glory for ourselves, but the glory is all His. Yes. Thine is the Kingdom and the power and glory, forever and ever and ever and ever. How long is that? Forever and ever and ever and ever. . . And when you get through with all of the ever's, then . . .Amen!
Princess!
God has given me my very own Princess to brag about... look at how adorable she is!!! :)
(Introducting my new roomie- Princess Glory!!!)
GLORY GLORY HALLELUJAH!!
Monday, August 9, 2010
Tryless
Today God is teaching me the importance of knowing Him as He is. He's showing me that He wants me to let go of my expectations of [and for] myself and to trust Him with everything.
Yesterday He gave me the word "try" to chew on. I thought about the fact that when I "try", I am setting myself up for failure because I am doing something (whatever it is) by my own power. "Trying" is essentially using my effort to accomplish something by means that I've determined to be worthy of my effort. <--see that sentence? It's filled with "I's" and "my's" -ick! I have to find a way to weed those out of my thought life- nothing is mine- it's ALL God's. (i.e. It's not "my" time, stuff, people, etc...)
I was thinking that the opposite of try (which is "not try" = "surrender") is what we should actually do when we want to attain something. SURRENDER, LISTEN & RESPOND. That's what I have to do. Not TRY.
Topic Numero Dos:
Another thing God is talking to me about today is that the story of Abraham (where he is asked to sacrifice his son, Isaac) is totally relevant RIGHT NOW! I deduced that I too need to be willing to sacrifice my greatest love(s) and to put whatever it is (plans, people, things, addictions, worries, fears, etc.) on the altar. I can trust Him to take it all because of who God is.
Hmmm... Now that I'm writing this out, I see there are two outcomes for someone who puts something on the proverbial "altar". Either (a.) the things we sacrifice are burnt up, never to return again (because they are idols that will ultimately and always steal our allegiance to God) OR (b.) God provides a way out. --> In ole' Abe's story (Genesis 22:1-18, Hebrews 11:17-19) we learn that as he was preparing to sacrifice his son on the altar, Abraham tries to wrap his head/heart around what God has asked him to do. After much struggle, Abraham's conscience (human nature) rested on the decision to trust God to provide a way out (whether it was bringing Isaac back from the dead (which is what Abraham's human mind reasoned) or a ram in the bush (which is what God provided)).
Long story short - Abraham loved Isaac with every fiber of his being and as such, his son became an idol which stole a piece of Abraham's allegiance to God. But God, because of His great faithfulness, love, and justice, gave Abraham the opportunity to break the stronghold and surrender his idol- his son- to Him. And I need to do the same with my stuff...with anything that means so much to me that it hurts (my plans, my reputation, my future/goals). Our Just and Loving God has already shown me the blessings that He has for me (a storehouse of everything that is good and fulfilling) and He has already paid for it (Jesus), all I have to do is be WILLING to SURRENDER ALL.
WHAAAAAT? So simple, yet my little human brain spits out a receipt tape saying "does not compute" and I read it and believe it. Baaaaah. <--- my stupid sheep sound. :)
Thanks for bearing with me as I learn this stuff and learn to communicate it. I just TRIED waaaaaaay too hard to try to explain that- to make it make sense in words. Maybe I should just trust it to make sense in my heart and then go on about my business?? I don't know. Hm. Yeah. --> I think maybe I should keep trying to muddle through explaining what God is teaching me because even though it's hard, I think it solidifies my thoughts and it's good for me to put them out there for you to read and respond to.
What is God talking to YOU about today?
<3
Yesterday He gave me the word "try" to chew on. I thought about the fact that when I "try", I am setting myself up for failure because I am doing something (whatever it is) by my own power. "Trying" is essentially using my effort to accomplish something by means that I've determined to be worthy of my effort. <--see that sentence? It's filled with "I's" and "my's" -ick! I have to find a way to weed those out of my thought life- nothing is mine- it's ALL God's. (i.e. It's not "my" time, stuff, people, etc...)
I was thinking that the opposite of try (which is "not try" = "surrender") is what we should actually do when we want to attain something. SURRENDER, LISTEN & RESPOND. That's what I have to do. Not TRY.
Topic Numero Dos:
Another thing God is talking to me about today is that the story of Abraham (where he is asked to sacrifice his son, Isaac) is totally relevant RIGHT NOW! I deduced that I too need to be willing to sacrifice my greatest love(s) and to put whatever it is (plans, people, things, addictions, worries, fears, etc.) on the altar. I can trust Him to take it all because of who God is.
Hmmm... Now that I'm writing this out, I see there are two outcomes for someone who puts something on the proverbial "altar". Either (a.) the things we sacrifice are burnt up, never to return again (because they are idols that will ultimately and always steal our allegiance to God) OR (b.) God provides a way out. --> In ole' Abe's story (Genesis 22:1-18, Hebrews 11:17-19) we learn that as he was preparing to sacrifice his son on the altar, Abraham tries to wrap his head/heart around what God has asked him to do. After much struggle, Abraham's conscience (human nature) rested on the decision to trust God to provide a way out (whether it was bringing Isaac back from the dead (which is what Abraham's human mind reasoned) or a ram in the bush (which is what God provided)).
Long story short - Abraham loved Isaac with every fiber of his being and as such, his son became an idol which stole a piece of Abraham's allegiance to God. But God, because of His great faithfulness, love, and justice, gave Abraham the opportunity to break the stronghold and surrender his idol- his son- to Him. And I need to do the same with my stuff...with anything that means so much to me that it hurts (my plans, my reputation, my future/goals). Our Just and Loving God has already shown me the blessings that He has for me (a storehouse of everything that is good and fulfilling) and He has already paid for it (Jesus), all I have to do is be WILLING to SURRENDER ALL.
WHAAAAAT? So simple, yet my little human brain spits out a receipt tape saying "does not compute" and I read it and believe it. Baaaaah. <--- my stupid sheep sound. :)
Thanks for bearing with me as I learn this stuff and learn to communicate it. I just TRIED waaaaaaay too hard to try to explain that- to make it make sense in words. Maybe I should just trust it to make sense in my heart and then go on about my business?? I don't know. Hm. Yeah. --> I think maybe I should keep trying to muddle through explaining what God is teaching me because even though it's hard, I think it solidifies my thoughts and it's good for me to put them out there for you to read and respond to.
What is God talking to YOU about today?
<3
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)