Loves me and takes care of me and helps me
When he's not overburdened and his nervous system is strong, he can be there for me. I need to be there for him.
He wants to help me heal and get better too. He takes tangible steps - willing to rip out my rug and clean my house with me. Helps with horse poop. Loves the animals and loves to walk and be in nature with me.
---------- Forwarded message ---------
I realized the other day that I tend to operate from my Animus. I think, speak, and often act from this part of myself and it is harmful to myself and others.
I need to integrate my animus instead of being possessed by it.
______
Yes, in Jungian psychology, women can think and speak from their animus—the unconscious masculine aspect of the female psyche. When not integrated, this often manifests as "animus possession," where a woman becomes rigid, argumentative, and overly intellectual, expressing cold, generalized opinions or "prejudiced" views that feel unnatural to her personality. [1, 2, 3, 4, 5]
Letter to Diego, Letter to my Teacher,
First, I’m sorry this is so much. I’m writing this opening after I’ve already written waaaaaayyyy too much.
I loved your email and appreciate it so much. My response which opens spontaneously after listening to a snippet from Esoteric Psychology incorporates some of what bubbled up for me as I read your note. I really enjoyed your thoughts on Group-Consciousness and am interested in hearing more!
Here goes….
Have you studied the monad (or monadic ray, maybe?)? I heard Alice talking about that and she said people cannot discern if they are a monad of power, love, or intelligent activity unless they are an Initiate of the 3rd initiation or something like that.
She said the monad is one’s highest life aspect.
This woman was speaking a long time ago (100 years?) so maybe that’s how things were then…. but does it seem like there’s more access for humans to be in contact with their higher selves or higher aspects now? I think so. Did the whole fabric of existence change in 2012 for everyone? Is it possible there were some initiates beforehand but that now everyone can break through the veil to access their higher selves? (My boss was just talking about the tearing of the veil in Christianity at the moment of Jesus’ supposed death, making that the moment that people could then have a direct relationship with the “Holy Spirit”?) I don’t know…but I wonder if there’s something to the fact that the Mayan calendar ended in 2012? (I had a major breakthrough to my own higher God-self on January 2, 2010 (0102|2010 <-- palindrome!) which was before 2012 but I was trying to birth myself before that too. Did you have any major experience like that?)
Okay…back to the 3rd initiation/monad…
I have heard and agree that there is an even higher aspect … the 4th initiation?? …Called the Avatar level. (I am guessing there are probably higher ones too?)
I’d love to try to express my vision or theory on how this works but it might be hard to do. It’s related to your theory of Group Consciousness. It’s my personal gestalt theory. Let me try.
Currently I imagine it works like this…
Is it possible that a soul aspect that Sources from a distant “location”… some think of the locations like stars or galaxies and right now I wonder if it is a form of time … but I digress. So let’s just say we were “born” or originate from Star A…. and then we are assigned to support a mission on star B, so we have to put on the starsuit for Star B. So our soul is made up of stardust from Star A, but we put on a suit that will allow us to live and move and breathe on Star B. While there we realize that part of our work requires going to Planet C and we need to get in another form…another ship or suit to be able to interact with the lifeforms there. And maybe the physical density of these places is different… maybe we have to become more dense and as we become more dense, maybe we lose some of our clarity and inherent power and if we keep going deeper (because it’s our mission or interest), maybe eventually we lose touch with our highest aspect, the deepest layer of ourselves sourcing from Star A.
I currently think there are number of souls that have joined the mission to support the reclamation of the Earth. I think this has to do with crystals / crystallization so the term cryst or Chryst or Christ mission works for me. But as we’ve discussed before, I believe the mission is the same whether it’s Buddha consciousness, Love, Christ consciousness, or whatever theological or philosophical term anyone wants to throw at it. They/we are all touching the same Elephant. (Let me know if you don’t know that parable.)
Oh, and the “gestalt” part of putting on those suits is that I think that we join these group consciousnesses who are working these “missions”. So Carissa from Star A joins TEAM Star B and becomes part of the gestalt/group consciousness (or pendulum – loving this term from “Reality Transurfing”) who are doing their work on Star B and then they join another subset or group or gestalt or group consciousness or mission who opts to go to Planet C to work on that project (which impacts the work on Star B).
Does this make any sense?
So I suspect you and I have CHOSEN to come to this plane, to this earth, to this “time”, to support the reclamation and restoration of the energetic architecture of earth and/or humanity. What I struggle with right now … what I am resisting … is the “victim mentality” implied by this. The idea that the “fall” or “damage” was intentional or the result of rogue beings or energies or aliens or whatever anyone want to call them and that there is a war. There are New World Orders and One World Orders and who knows what other ones who feel they have the BEST PLAN for how this earth (how the human farm??) should be run. That there should be less people, that there should be more. That they should be slaves, that they should be free. Etc.
This is too long but I was moved to share with you. I loved your message and am excited to have someone to ponder with. I hope it’s not too much.
In summary, I agree with the belief that we have these layers of being/initiation… maybe these? These are taught about in Energetic Synthesis.
PHYSICAL > SOUL > MONAD > AVATAR
Thank you for sharing your experience with the people you have met on the dating app. It sounds like you have great discernment and I’m sure you will see my ego and pain body as well. Humans are (I AM) messy. But my desire is to be a clear vessel and to continue to break down my illusions and I love the pursuit of consciousness, truth, and alignment.
I too hope we can be real friends and you are/this is the greatest treasure I could imagine! I only talked to a couple people too and am grateful for the opportunity to feel what a lack of alignment feels like. I was honestly trying to use “dating” to distract me from the work I need to do on myself. I am not suitable for dating anyway – I’m in the process of reclaiming myself. (This is the micro-to-the-macro work of being human.) I need to figure out how to eat and care for myself. I have abandoned myself for years (and/or lifetimes?). But I also struggle with not wanting to be alone and a big part of my soul’s mission (even confirmed by that Healer’s Code card reading) is finding a balance between my intellectual/spiritual pursuits and relationships. I am here to balance spiritual energy and earth energy… as the meeting point of heaven and earth. I am the son/daughter (child) of “Father God” and “Mother Earth”. So I guess I’ll keep feeling into all that.
Anyway, you are an answer to my prayers. I had a friend like this that had similar depth and power that you have and he left (his body) a few years ago and I’ve missed him so. I never met him in “real life”…he lived in NYC. But anyway, I immediately felt a similar energy signature with you. So thank you for being here as long as the Universe lets me share in the pursuit of truth with you.
Did you look up Mattias De Stefano? Does he feel like a brother to you too? He does to me for sure. I saw on the Lucis Trust website that they have groups called Triangles and based on that and what you shared in your answer about group consciousness (about working together to heal the earth), it has a grid working feel to it. I believe that I am (maybe everyone is?) “key coded” as a grid worker too and a part of the teams supporting the healing of the earth. (The Jewish term Tikkun Olam was one of the first phrases/assignments of/from my soul in 2010. The phrase itself, not the way the Jewish people do it.) Anyway, I’m super interested in your take on Mattias!
And Pablo Sender seems like a kindred spirit for sure too!
I HAVE TO STOP! Poor Diego! I’m sorry!!
Please don’t feel you have to respond to all (or any) of my blatherings. I’d love to hear what bubbles up for you and what is in your field now. What do you want to share? What have you seen or thought about?
By the way, I listened to Jean-Marie Leclair yesterday. He seems to write for strings primarily? Maybe not. Do you play other instruments besides the piano? Do you write your own music? I love the pianoness/musicness (these are not words) about you!
With Love,
Carissa
I have been on this "how do I eat" rollercoaster since God made me aware of it in 2010 and I did that Ezekiel Fast. Food is medicine. Food is life. You are what you eat.
So what do I want to be? A blueberry? Sweet and a little sour. A steak. Grounded.
I need nutrients.
I feel sick and bad when I eat crap. I think the seed oils are really the worst. And vegetables make me inflammed and farty. And sugar is a doorway to the deep end. Bread and cookies take me away from my center.
This is my AG pick today, and next level of education from God to remind me to dig deeper - this is what has me trapped. This is my heritage, my ancestral miasma in need of love and healing. It connects the NRG and Egypt and sexual misery program and SRA and pedophilia and all the pieces that torture me.
This is why Hitler came up last month too. And again in a movie 2 days ago.
This is my work.
My mirror exercise is important too.
Do the work.
https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Thothian_Grid
The collective consciousness of Black Magic Grids were controlled and installed by the consciousness of an Atlantian teacher and Solar Lord archetype Aleister Crowley and his mentor Thoth, and the Negative Aliens. According to remote session intelligence collected and Guardian mentorship, Aleister Crowley is a key figure in cooperating with the NAA, starting from Grey Alien contact with a entity called Aiwass made in Cairo, Egypt in April 1904. The manipulation of consciousness technology and the world of forces for Service to Self and Negative Ego purposes without regard for the consent or consequence of others. There are many different levels of the propagation of Black Magic. Black Magic is a form of Satanism. Advanced SRA rituals include Blood Sacrifice, Pedophilia and Sodomy that are considered the path to the Typhonian Tradition used in order to manifest immortality for the people engaged with these NAA forces, which they consider to be more powerful than Christ, the Solar Deity. See OTO and Thelema.
Recently [1] the Annunaki - Thothian controlled grid network (called the Phoenix Grid Spike Site) in the Astral Plane in the 4D Stargate area of the Cairo, Egypt that feeds on the Golden Eagle Grid (which is based in usurped creation code written in "Thelema/Ulema" intelligent language pattern) has been made obsolete in certain areas of the planetary circulatory system. This means that critical areas where the NAA Controllers siphon human energetic consciousness power and redirect it back into their Artificial Machinery systems are failing, in the percentage they need to power the global Mind Control and other NAA systems.
Thothian-Annunaki language (based on usurped enochian language of the Original Creational God Code – The Law of One) was given to Crowley at the turn of the century in order for him to be the human embodiment that was necessary to bring this "black magic" language into the physical realms, which continued the Atlantian brotherhood war and its Atlantian Conspiracy in this reality system. Crowley was manipulated through his own massive ego of patriarchal superiority, greed, genetic elitism, ego maniacal selfishness and sexual deviance to install a vast circulatory system of Ley Lines of control for Thothian interests. This is synonymous with defining the structure of Satanic forces which run the reversal energies in "black magic grids". He was groomed in the United Kingdom (the location of the last of the lost Atlantian colonies from 11,500 years ago) with the government heads (reptilian central leaders, such as Winston Churchill) grooming him to be in special operation for the Black Sun Program and the Sons of Belial black forces, which were trained in the British Secret Service. He was a primary operative used for directing psychological-spiritual warfare in the purpose for mind controlling Hitler for the Black Sun Programs and received much material and earthly power for his cooperation, on multiple dimensions.
Aleister Crowley was contacted in Cairo, Egypt in 1904 by Negative Grey Reptilian Aliens (Aiwass) to begin his indoctrination to support the negative alien agenda. He was instrumental infiltrating the Secret Societies where he gave consciousness tools, rituals and artifacts to the Illuminati. This began the human history of black ops (shadow government), the military industrial complex which shared negative alien technology in exchange for human souls, human abduction and genetic mutation experiments. In most cases these souls were ritualized and bound in the Thothian black magic grids to entrap them so they could be "siphoned".
Transcript - Because it was A. Crowley birthday yesterday (October 12th) and many Satanists pay homage to him on that day, I will talk about why Crowley is synonymous with all Black Magic, Black Sex Magic and Pedophilia. It was this man that brought Satanist architecture through powerful Atlantian Technology (and Thothian books) at the turn of the century, and he was given the information in Cairo by the NAA Reptiles by his then possessed wife Rose. (Shortly after, she killed herself and they knew he would psychologically break from the power he was given over others, and he did. Insanity and power consumed him and he was responsible for laying the Satanist architecture into the Planetary Logos body and planetary heart chakra. All Satanist activity on the planet feeds into grids Crowley is responsible for. This Phoenix Grid network is a subsidiary feed line into the UK Nephilim Reversal Grid NRG and the Golden Eagle Grid. The Phoenix Grid network piece shown (for now and is where Crowley went, personally tracing his steps back through time) is a 45 degree pyramidal triad from UK/London through Belgium, Germany into Iran Gate 10th Gate, the bottom then slides east into the Cairo Wormhole and back up into the UK gate. From Cairo moving down vertically into Africa is a massive feed line being agitated into Uganda, Rwanda, Zimbabwe all the way down to the tip of South Africa. South Africa tip has had a 3D timeline frequency fence put into the land mass/energy system and this is to incite more of the 3D frequency fence mind control enslavement and to instigate fear and pain in the vertical line moving North-south to throw off the Great White Lion Elohim System. Alpha Draconis/Orion Group or Draconians are going after children 0-12 because they receive power in their soul light or blood when it’s used in soul binding ritual. They can possess or bind a soul in a child’s body easier than an adult, and they believe it will give them immortality. [2]
An in depth awareness of the power inherent in the alchemy of polarity of forces, as used in SRA ritualized practices, which were practiced and made popular by Aleistar Crowley (AC), is the energetic theme of comprehending with exacting clarity how these off planet forces have created the NRG Grids in the UK. The NRG Grids are designed specifically to split gender polarity and promote the abuse and trauma of both male and female sexual energies, through the Archontic Deception Behavior of Satanic and Luciferian forces. AC was indeed used for this NAA agenda and was surreptitiously orchestrated to connect with Britain’s monarchy to help maintain its “crown” in WW2, and those responsible for ensuring that the power of Britain and their chosen power elite would be maintained as the controlling World Power. Stonehenge, the 11th Stargate and the United Kingdom landmass are a headquarters for the Negative Alien Agenda NAA, or "Reptilian Central", the Sons of Belial so keeping these interests protected would be a political priority.[3][4]
There is a clear relationship between satanic ritual (SRA), Blood Sacrifice and child sacrifice and pedophilia. The possessing parasitic entity in its human host uses the pure essence of a child's life force and soul energy to feed, siphon, usurp or bind it into servitude. Practicing satanists are educated in how to use SRA to create dissociative identity (DID) and mental body fragmentation in their own children and child relatives, in order to bind the soul body to an extradimensional satanic entity. Through the binding of servitude, the parents, the bloodline lineages are allowed to remain in power of the financial and economic resources on the earth. This is the diseased seed of the Negative Alien Agenda.[5][6]
Following the rise of Adolf Hitler, who discovered the Society after he had been ordered to spy on them, Serbottendorff’s newspaper was bought out by Dietrich Eckart, a Bavarian Catholic who had helped form the German Worker’s Party, bringing the newspaper under German rule for obvious reasons. It was Eckart who introduced Hitler to the more esoteric ways of the world, and it was Eckart who transcribed Mein Kampf. When they came to power, Hitler set up the SS, a secret Order of the Silver Star who went out initiating people into the esoteric mysteries.
Eckart himself was highly influenced by Eastern mysticism and was a follower of Aleister Crowley’s movement. In fact, some researchers have even claimed that Aleister Crowley influenced the Nazi occult movement to such a degree that it may have been through him, that the secret dark brotherhood were working and thereby influencing Hitler and his crew.
___
First post in the forum in a long time other than the links yesterday:
Thank you for sharing that Tracy - that looks fascinating and I do think that's a signpost as well.
"Do you think satanists are running the world?" YES. The level of black magic I've been sensing since the eclipse sandwich has been off the charts. Today's AG pick for me was ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Thothian_Grid and ties in so much of what I feel we're (I'm?) working with on a personal, ancestral, and planetary level. This Dragon Moth / Marduk / Thoth (etc.) is showing and reminding me that this whole mess that's going on on the earth has so much to do with this masculine wound and I'm being called to hold space for the threads and information to come up and I'm so grateful to be doing this with you. Seems to be lots of Krystic support - guidance is close - Lots of 144s to heal the 911s. We witness the 11/1111s and 222s and mirrors - esp 1441- and move forward 11/1123 & 1234.
ps. Yesterday's post was the little trip I took from my AG pick (Dragon Moth Grid II) through Marduk and Black Magic and the Poisoned Cup. It's all relevant and I wanted to share. It brought me to this forum thread about Enki's Army too so ... I don't know what I'm doing here but I just got back and I didn't have words yet but I felt like I needed to contribute. Thank you, beloved Tracy and Kelly, for being here and holding space to catch me. I am grateful for both of you.
pss. Now I want to watch that show. I might. Thank you.
