Balance

I've GOT to remember to BALANCE. I realized yesterday that I was feeling disconnected from God... I was feeling like I was doing what was right (in my life and relationships and work) but I still felt like something was missing.

You know what it was? GOD... intimacy with the Father. INTIMACY...not just "hanging out with" Him... but truly digging deep into my soul and scratching out what I find there then giving that to Him as an offering (the good, the bad, and the ugly- He wants it all!)...

Anyway... I was sitting on my bed last night thinking about how I had prayed about something (a new job) and that's when it hit me- I don't think I really prayed to God about it. I think I THOUGHT about it. I think I thought about it and its relation to God a LOT... but when I was honest with myself, I don't think I truly got down on my knees and held this thing up to Him as an offering- asking... begging... pleading... for HIM to take it and do with it what He wanted.

I DID do that last night and I feel a bit better. Yep...I said a "bit"... but maybe that's because I didn't really get on my knees (my actual knee caps). Hm. Maybe that would help. I used to pray on my knees- but that posture (which I was taught when I was young) was uncomfortable and made me think more about how much my knees hurt than my convo with God. I dunno. Anyway... that's not the point. The POINT is that I feel like I'm not doing enough earnest seeking out of God - I'm not praying enough.

Instead, I have started focusing on my relationships with the people God has given me as a gift in my life - I have these new AMAZING friends - people who love God the way I do - and I am learning so much from them and I feel fulfilled and joyful just by having them in my life --> H-O-W-E-V-E-R I have GOT to remember to put God first! The intimacy that I've had with God for the past couple months was a result of NOT having other people around - the fact that I didn't have distractions and in my time alone, that's when I naturally seeked (is that a word? I think that's the wrong tense- angh... I'll fix it later...maybe...... when I naturally suck out? NO! ...seeked out? ...GRRR!) naturally WENT TO God. I used to be in constant contact/conversation with Him but now I'm in constant conversation with other people. Godly people!... just PEOPLE. Yeah. So I've just got to find a balance. There are blessings for me and for others when I invite them to share my heart with me... I just need to focus on the provider of all those blessings first and foremost.

Ok. I'm off to take pictures of my friend's sister's wedding! I'm SOOOO EXCITED!!

BTW- yesterday I got to sledgehammer some walls down and play in a dumpster- it was a BLAST!! (We are preparing the new space for Journey Church to move into later this year... EVERYONE is invited to come help... I have NO recognizable construction skills- but I was able to help and had a GREAT time!!)  <3

(Here are some pics from the fun day!)