Scary Night

I had a bit of a scary night last night. I was doing the "Personal Mission Sphire & Omnidirectional Plasma Crown" meditation... lots of flowers. And about 12 minutes from the end, Moses came up and started doing that worried, soft lick, lay on me thing. He was obviously worried and shaken up and I didn't know why. I held him and tried to get through the meditation but my fear kept rising and in the end I had a whole night worth of panic attack. I tried taking a bath, going outside and grounding in the mud, breathing, lots of speaking out loud commandments of my space and protection and clearing. The Omni-Love Mother Arc meditation felt the best....most soothing. But I was really worried about Moses who was really worried about me. I had all the panic attack events - empty bowels, shaking, nerves, cold, buckets of sweat, fear, etc. I think I gleaned that I was transmuting some Ai and negative energies that I had been storing in my lightbody...possibly inverted Ruby anti-life energies. But it was definitely a challenging night. Very little sleep. I felt very much on the verge of cracking. I thought about going to Ryan's house for some of his masculine energy/protection but that could have gone either way. I thought about going to Michael's house for the same. But in the end, I needed to do this by myself and with myself. Sunshine was relaxed. It was a me and Mosey thing. My buddy. God, thank you for my boys and my home and today I told Ryan about it and he was really kind and said I should have gone over there. I was afraid I had opened a door and done that meditation without proper buffering and shielding and that I had cracked open a portal to some negative energy or something baaaaad and thought it would never end and that I would be stuck like that forever. Hell. Thank you for looking at this again now, Carissa. See how fear and anxiety and panic work. Breathe. Thank you God. Timeline Override. Lots of praying.