Emotional

Super emotional. Feelings of anger, sadness, abandonment, grief, frustration, confusion... I felt into them for a bit in the shower and cried and danced and moved and slapped walls and threw washcloths around to feel into it.

Paul went to a horror movie that he's wanted to see. He's going on a date with himself. It's good. I felt like we made an agreement where he was going to use this time today to get his very long list of self-imposed prison items worked on and then we would get to hang out. I feel that I've waited all week to spend time with him and I felt he was abandoning me and our plan for this movie while at the same time wanting him to live his life and go see his movie. It's ridiculous.

The sugar from the cake we ate for breakfast surely doesn't help. I need to clear my body. After tomorrow (Corie is making a homemade carrot cake for my birthday)!

Yeah. Definitely sugar. And over-stimulation.

This time is good as I have so much to do myself. Even so much to process. I had so much love poured on me yesterday for my birthday.... incredibly thoughtful gifts as well as loving birthday songs and messages. Kelsey made me a whole linen outfit! Rosemary made me a hanging sculpture! Mr. Burch sent me a "Quackey Road" rubber ducky, Le'Anna took me to the Paperhand Puppet Show, my parents sent me flowers and money, Bean sent me a stuffed chicken and there's something else on the way, and the most surprising and moving one was where Paul - who doesn't celebrate birthdays - surprised me by decorating the house and getting me a cake and card because he knew how much it would mean to me! (I think if I resisted his stance it would have nailed it in, but by just letting things be as they are and him be as he is, it gave him the space to move through to that selfless and loving action item of setting aside his preferences to feel into how to love me. It was profound. 

I've been so dehydrated lately. 

Listening to some stuff on "satanism" which is also energetically messing with me.

Let's pray together - God, please guard and protect Paul as he goes into this horror movie. Strengthen his lightbody and aura and spirit and keep any entities or messages from sticking to him. Please keep him safe and show him what you want him to see. May he grow and be strengthened in all ways at all times. I ask for Guardian support and angels to surround and protect him. I ask for a Krystal star and diamond orb to surround and protect my beloved.