Let's look at the disgust I feel. Anger and disgust that he acts like that when he's sick when he didn't have an ounce of compassion for me when I was. Until yesterday. Yesterday he showed me a tiny bit of kindness and felt my forehead and said it felt like I had a fever (when I was saying that I didn't think so)... but he was nice. He also went to the store for stuff for us... but mostly I think he wanted stuff for his grilled cheeses and soup that he decided he wanted. (I tried but couldn't eat much of it.)
I was sick with these same body aches and pains and chills and fever but I had to take care of Roody and I had to deal with Paul's emotional drama and I had to get up to take care of his breakfast/lunch and see him off to work. I had to vacuum the house and do my work for Malai.
Michael is still not well either and I've been trying to take care of him. I'm on day 4. Still fever on and off. (I still haven't TAKEN my temperature which I think has been a good choice, thank you Wes for inspiring it.) But I know that I'm still on the mend and I need to take care of myself.
Paul laid there all day. Wouldn't drink. Wouldn't take care of himself at all - I mean, I was doing the taking care... I was just asking him to sit up and drink and maybe take a shower or bath. He is now in the bath so eventually I guess it worked but that's because Crickett just convinced me that he was going to die if he didn't get some fluids. My parents convinced me that we all have the C-word which is really just a flu anyway... it's a flu. The other is a fear-mongering concept, so I need not worry about it... see it for the dark portal attack it was. But we DO need to care for our bodies.
So when Paul decided he would get up (after I threatened to call an ambulance), he was talking to Manson and leaning on Manson like Manson was the one "there for him". The theatrics are fascinating.... and infuriating.
This is the lunar distortion... and I think we're working with lunar false king of tyranny which is why my right side of my head and face have been getting upgrades. Ears yesterday and today and eye today. The whole thing. And the vein on my right side is bulging. Upgrades.
I want to "take control" and "leave Paul". I don't want to be his girlfriend anymore. He is not a man to me. He hasn't behaved like one - he hasn't been a compassionate, loving, banks-to-my-river albion structure. He is like a little boy and he just wants to GET whatever he can to soothe his lusts. I mean, he also does show interest in spiritual matters and I believe he's being awakened... so I need to honor that and I believe he will awaken his heart and step into the magnificent being... or rather, allow the magnificent Being he IS to step into him... to embody his higher self.... but he's not there yet.
Am I supposed to hang on until he does?
I'm getting a "yes" and I ... sigh... hate that.
It's so hard.
He's such a selfish taker. So are you, beloved... this is helping you to heal. See it. Learn. Compassionately witness it. COMPASSIONATELY. That's the ticket. You've been bitter... allowing it to cause resentment. You are working on it, we see. We know. You are 7:44 also trying to step more into a "service to others" mentality and I think that's great!
Coming back to our mission: "Give. Love. Serve."
It starts at home.
And you need to learn to give-love-serve with a KIND heart, dear one. Service with bitterness and resentment cancels it out.
So when Paul decided he would get up (after I threatened to call an ambulance), he was talking to Manson and leaning on Manson like Manson was the one "there for him". The theatrics are fascinating.... and infuriating.
This is the lunar distortion... and I think we're working with lunar false king of tyranny which is why my right side of my head and face have been getting upgrades. Ears yesterday and today and eye today. The whole thing. And the vein on my right side is bulging. Upgrades.
I want to "take control" and "leave Paul". I don't want to be his girlfriend anymore. He is not a man to me. He hasn't behaved like one - he hasn't been a compassionate, loving, banks-to-my-river albion structure. He is like a little boy and he just wants to GET whatever he can to soothe his lusts. I mean, he also does show interest in spiritual matters and I believe he's being awakened... so I need to honor that and I believe he will awaken his heart and step into the magnificent being... or rather, allow the magnificent Being he IS to step into him... to embody his higher self.... but he's not there yet.
Am I supposed to hang on until he does?
I'm getting a "yes" and I ... sigh... hate that.
It's so hard.
He's such a selfish taker. So are you, beloved... this is helping you to heal. See it. Learn. Compassionately witness it. COMPASSIONATELY. That's the ticket. You've been bitter... allowing it to cause resentment. You are working on it, we see. We know. You are 7:44 also trying to step more into a "service to others" mentality and I think that's great!
Coming back to our mission: "Give. Love. Serve."
It starts at home.
And you need to learn to give-love-serve with a KIND heart, dear one. Service with bitterness and resentment cancels it out.
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