Email to friend

Message to Evangeline just now. It kind of talks a bit about what I'm working with so thought it was worth saving:

From: Carissa Wages <crwages@gmail.com>

Subject: Re: You okay?

Date: January 24, 2023 at 11:31:15 AM EST

To: "Evangeline (ES) Glasgow" <evangelineglasgow@protonmail.com>

Great message!!

Okay, so you know about “The Carnivore Code”. Cool. Yeah. I feel a lot of the same things as you do about it… but I’m going to try it… I’m eeking in. I feel better already but I think it’s from less carbs and sugars. (Although yesterday my friend mailed me some candy … it’s called Violet Crumble and made in Australia… so I had to try it.) I feel a little guilty, but not really. The blue corn chips that have been a staple of my diet for years are vexing me more. I got an app called “Carb Manager” and am learning so much. There’s one called “Chronometer” which I think is better, but like the social aspect of the Carb Manager so I could connect with Paul. He’s not using it much so maybe I’ll go back to the Chronometer… we’ll see. Do you or have you ever counted carbs or tracked calories?

So sweet of you to take your Mom out to lunch for her birthday. The dream sounds unsettling. Do you feel at peace if she does decide to check out?

I’m planning on going to Atlanta with my friend on Thursday. She’s taking me to a concert (Josh Garrells who she loves) and we’re staying at her sister’s AirBNB for a couple nights. I get weird/nervous about traveling and I know it’s fear that’s trying to lock me down. I used to be a free spirit traveling machine and need to overcome fear. Feel the fear and do it anyway.

They are chopping down some old trees in front of our apartments… one is in my yard… actually… they are chopping down another on in my yard probably tomorrow too. So sad. They said they are sick and that the roots are damaging the foundation. They have mistletoe all in them so I understand, but it’s still so sad… they are my friends. The one they are chopping tomorrow shades my chicken house and I call him Chris. I’m sad about their murder.

That’s great that it’s going well with Lux and I hope they are able to give her what she needs.

Romantic that you get to stay all snuggled with Jason in the snowy mountains! I’m glad it’s going well. I knew it would. You are such a special person - I’m glad you both SEE each other. I think it’s normal for people to get on your nerves, especially if they are in your (perceived) space. I wonder what’s underneath/fueling that? 

Paul doesn’t get on my nerves but we usually have problems when he is home… we just don’t get along great a lot of the time. We have so much trauma and ego and MESS to work through. Yesterday he got mad at me for something I didn’t do and left without saying goodbye. I was so hurt and INSTANTLY went to “breakup and run away” mode. It was good to see how when I am hurt, I want to run away. That’s my “M.O”.. And I need to correct that STAT. I have this idea that since we aren’t married that I don’t have security. But the truth is that I need to have security in myself and I can choose where I want to be. I WANT to be with Paul and to do this work right now. It is a gift from God that I am in a position with a fellow starseed (even if he doesn’t know that) who is also working similar pieces to me… this heirogamic union/gender roles polarity integration (Michael/Mary) stuff is no joke and what we came to learn and feel into. If I run away from what I wanted to experience and explore, then I WILL have “mission failure”. I need to lean in and feel all the feels. 

I can’t wait to get the supplements either. I had a tiny piece of raw liver yesterday and Saturday. But I’ll feel better with the supps. I also have to wait until I get paid in a couple weeks and hopefully the Starter Pack will be back in stock.

Okay, I hope you have a great day and that the appointment with Lux goes well today.

Lots of love!

Carissa

Ps. I’m learning about, dreaming, and planning to open a health food store/gift shop (with local produce, grass-fed meat, and crystals…and hopefully a salt cave)!