It's fine

It's fine. I have to expect Ryan's abuse and dynamics. I shared with him the truth that I need to focus on loving myself. If he wants to twist everything so that he is the victim and I am the victimizer, I have to accept it. Wear my Villian Crown. I have a pure heart, God loves me, I'm doing what's right for me. 

This man, Allen, really seemed to like me today... I could tell...he was trying to hint at it... told me about being single, and his kids, and he was all sweaty later, when I could tell he was looking for me to give me his card. I could just tell. It was nice. 

But I don't want any man. I mean, I do. I want a man who will take care of things and be kind to me...but I need to get straight with MYSELF first. 

Accepting Ryan's abuse is NOT okay. 
And that's it.  

___

Well, I went over there and fell into love again. I just keep falling for him. I love him. Gah!