He's my guy. I just love him and my soul is happy with him. I like to be with him. We are working toward truth and finding our way. He is respectful of me and guarding his mouth - not swearing, or trying to harm me and is listening and building me up. God, please let it stay this way. It feels so nice! He said yesterday that he can't wait to make me his wife. He really seems to have shifted and sees and wants a future with me.
After feeling into a life with other people (specifically Tim... just thinking about it and fantasizing and wondering....) I realize that it's RYAN I want. I want to BUILD and CO-CREATE with Ryan. He is my dream man - his love for animals, his sensitivity, his ability to build, and just who he IS, even when challenging, is just my soul's counterpart. I like figuring it out with him. Even fighting with him feels like home. (I hope we can change that. We hope to institute the Japanese practice of "MA" or something like that where if you disagree, you sit together in silence and regulate your nervous systems BEFORE you discuss.)
I like his manliness and the way he takes charge in certain ways and his curiosity and the questions he asks to get to the bottom of things. I would sweep them under the rug, but he is interested in repair. I like his compassion for me when I am having a hard time and how he wants to help me do the right thing.
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