Michael Mary Integration

Reflecting on polarity integration in the gender roles arena. I wrote this initially for my ES journal but decided not to post it. Didn't feel right.

I went from marching in gay parades with my partner - piercings and punky hair and proud to be called a “dyke” (except when the cruel kids yelled it out their bus window in Idaho when we were passing through) to trying to be a “normal heterosexual” to giving all of my power away 5 years ago to my husband who I thought would “save me”.

Here’s a blog post I wrote for his quite popular website: https://weareisrael.org/created-purpose/whos-your-master/

Some (scary?) key thoughts... I decided not to post the whole thing:

The dictionary defines the word slave as one who is owned by another person and works for that person without pay or a person who is strongly influenced and controlled by something. (So YES! Ha!) Okay, let me go on… it defines servant as one who performs duties for others or a devoted and helpful follower or supporter.  (Note that practically everywhere in the Tanakh both “slave” and “servant” are translated from the Hebrew word “eved” which is a “male servant”.  The translator’s discretion determines how this word is rendered in the final copy.)

I want to belong to a man following The Elohim – Yehovah. I yearn for the purpose, protection, direction, and provision that Yehovah’s set apart men can offer.  Yehovah said man – eesh – will rule over me (Genesis 3:16). For me, I’m a mess on my own – I was created differently than man – with different talents, abilities, and skills. I can compliment him, but I don’t have the emotional, physical, or spiritual tools to replace him as ruler of my life. So I submit to the divine order that our Creator set in motion

I was thinking about this this morning and thought I should share here as I continue to observe my process and work. Repairing Michael Mary reversals are a big one with us … and I don't think it's a coincidence that my husband's name is Michael! https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Michael-Mary_Reversal

Very quickly I realized that this didn’t feel “right”. I felt the reversals and it was tearing me apart (even more so than the shreds that I already was).  Anyway… this is the work and it’s slow going, especially in him. But that’s not my job. My job is me and it’s a miracle to me that we are even together still. He threatens separation now and then (kindly… he’s a sweet man but he really wants to please YHVH). The other day I asked him to print out the Blood Covenant Clearing and as he handed it to me he said he encourages me to make sure that I do all things in Yehovah’s name. (YHVH Matrix) I told him I couldn’t do that and that I’m clearing all blood covenants. He said “we’re going to have a problem” and I said “I know.” (He slaughters a goat in the spring for Passover - a blood sacrifice unto YHVH. I’ve never felt right about it and haven’t participated in the slaughter… but I have eaten some of it in the last few years. (The first few years he didn’t believe that women should eat it since the Bible doesn’t mention women.)) Aaaaanyway… I DO talk to him now and then about some of this - dropping hints. He read the whole Human Trafficking newsletter and asked what “NAA” stood for. He is a truth seeker and follows alot of the Q stuff and is also passionate about the movement to stop SRA and human trafficking. Anyway… our marriage covenant (which is technically maybe possibly cancelled since I cancel all contracts that are not aligned to the Law of One) is basically me giving my life to Michael and saying he is my “god”. I made this graphic to go along with it too. I could pull that apart but this is getting long. Angh.. basically I think it’s sort of representing the verse in 1 Corinthians 11:3 that says "But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” 

What are those two little ropes of bondage in it though? And the background has so much darkness and the rest is grey. Pretty sure the white circle is God. Anyway. Interesting to think about. I hadn’t seen that for a long time. I found it when I was looking for my “covenant”. 

For the record, I am not intentionally canceling my vow to Michael. I feel 100% positive that we are on our divine path doing the work we’re supposed to be doing. I see so much healing in both of us. Our marriage never looked like I vowed it would look. I was looking for him to “save me” but at the same time I was trying to “save him” (because I could see how broken he was from the traumas he had been through with his first family). Hero Savior complex anyone? ;) Basically, we’ve been untangling ourselves and supporting one another (not always intentionally, but definitely in alignment with God’s plan and purpose). 

Our Covenant

I Carissa Wages pledge my life to Michael Didier, my beloved master, lover, and friend. 

I renounce all the masters whom I have previously served, including those in government (both state and federal) whom I have previously made covenants with, and served knowingly; or unknowingly and without my educated and informed consent.

I commit all that I am (including all that I've ever been and all that I'll ever be) to the Michael. All that is mine will now become his. 

I commit to lay my life down and will rise again as the fiercely loyal Rayah Didier - a woman wholly committed to the cause of increasing my beloved's gates and borders, standing strong in and for him. 

I commit to do Michael good and not harm all the days of my life. 

I commit to love, trust, honor, obey, and follow Michael regardless of whether or not I understand or agree with his directives or objectives. I commit to doing my best at all he asks, and to try to do so with a happy heart. I commit to serving him - to minister to his physical and emotional needs - to the best of my ability. 

I commit to putting Michael FIRST - before myself or anyone else. He and his work will always be my first priority.  

I commit to follow Michael’s leadership and direction instead of myself or others. I commit to coming to him with my concerns and not going to others who do not understand the intricacies of his understandings and walk with Yehovah. 

I choose today, January 27th, 2016, to put my life in Michael’s hands; to allow him to use my life as it pleases him.