Today's ESF post

  Thank you to all who are contributing to the reclamation of light and consciousness. 

I’ve been given more understanding … I remember when in January 2010 I all of a sudden could deeply understand the writings in the Bible (which I’d been reading, teaching, and trying to live for many years…but after a massive spiritual shift or walk-in, a new level or layer opened and I just “got it” (more)). This is what has happened this last month with the ES materials. They’ve become unveiled (or less veiled). So many pieces are coming forward for witnessing and I am reclaiming parts of me that have been long lost and buried.

Uluru is important. Something with the mitochondria and ATP connection is there.

Beloved Rosemary turned me on to the Gnostic Mass which was fantastic….but the Seraphim Reclamation has been my song - the meditation of my heart and purpose and healing.

I’ve been immersed in integration and am just coming up now for air. Last night it was so strange … I was trying to emotionally connect to the solstice celebrations. A second run-through of Lisa & Tomas’ beautiful prayer, this time with my own candle… a solstice celebration and energy download by someone else… but I realize I was trying to “create sparks”… and it wasn’t working. I guess it was neutrality…but it was so strange to not feel anything. I’m so used to feeling so much. I had a small cry as I sat in silence with the golden flame that broke into a gorgeous pattern…but only one tissue’s worth…it was small and strange.

Lovely time with the calibration manual after that though and lots of disclosure and encouragement and training in sleep state. I woke up knowing that I’m a seer. I just need to step into confidence around it. I don’t even know what it means other than it has negative connotations in the monotheistic religious world. I have experienced myself as a "prophet" because I get told to do or say something and I have to do it (or else I don't get more assignments). Seer could be the same thing, I guess, but learning to trust my intuition and have confidence and not allow ego to taint it is the work.

I was nudged and reminded and talked to the other day about how I’ve been born through and sent to the evangelical church with the Light and truth, to show the way. I don’t know what that looks like yet. I have dabbled in this calling off and on for years but mostly I need to just keep listening to Source and following guidance and embodying and anchoring the true spirit of Christ-Sophia. Just BEING is a big part of the fulfillment of my mission. I DO think that I should probably GO there. For a long time I didn’t go because I was easily twisted and confused. God would show me something and then I’d go and then get twisted…and then for many years I had to put the Bible down and God taught me through nature. But I am a frequency keeper. I am a cell tower for God. I am an acupuncture point. All there in that one church, for sure. It’s an hour away now but I should still go. But my husband won’t like it. But we’ll see

I believe I am of seraphim lineage (are we all?) - maybe related to Quetzalcoatl. I am rehabilitating fallen angelic lines and Michael-Mary reversals. I am supposed to be a grailkeeper (but could I be one on the NAA side?). I may have been involved in the 8th Stargate shenanigans and maybe as so many beloveds are working to repair and restore that, I’m also being unstuck. I was pinned to the GEG in a way… the backwards mind-bending toxicity twisting myself and me glomming on and twisting others. I for sure fired in some darkness to keep that sucker powered up. I have not been a good being. I probably sat on Uncle Annunaki's lap as a kid.

In this incarnation... just in the last 10 years...since my walk-in... I experienced falling into the pit of metatronic reversal… but it was so that I could reverse the reversal… so that I could “repent” of the reversal… which means evicting demonic entities and the dark spirits related to satanism and luciferianism…both of which I have been involved in through my ancestors or those I am working with here. So again, I invite the spirits of Christ to rule and reign in my being. I AM GOD, SOVEREIGN, and FREE!

Thanks be to God for Joe Machney who has helped me SO much this year with clearings. I feel like we’ve only made a tiny dent, but even so, it’s allowed a huge shift and I’ve got a LOT of glop to work through.

Closing portals. The other day a woman who has dark mother tendencies walked by me in the barn with my niece and I instantly changed … it’s like I “caught” that energy and I started being really weird to my niece (dark portal). Poor girl. My energy basically shifted from loving, to manipulating. The good news is that it was relatively quick, and I was also outside of myself watching and learning … “why are you acting like that, Carissa?… what are you trying to do here”? etc. I was able to apologize to my niece and I think it’s all okay now… so it was a good learning experience (but not GOOD. It was terrible.) Anyway, just to say that I am still really susceptible to other energies working through me.

Update on the Tyrone situation which I shared in recent posts. I can’t be 100% sure that I’m not in some way involved in the reclamation of his God-being, BUT if so, I think I fulfilled my part it by sharing ES and AG links and newsletter and if it resonates, perhaps he will also pull himself out of the pit as I, with the help of many, have been doing. He is not my responsibility and I surrender and let go of the past, present, and future related to him. God be with him.

I see that this whole thing came up in this time for release… I had a lot of past feelings around our union. The “arranged marriage by God” was an Alien Love Bite and I became obsessed with the fulfillment of this delusion (a happy, God-breathed, heirosgamos union). Even after all that happened, I was still holding onto hope for a “fairytale” ending. “One day my prince will come… la la la la la la”… blah blah. Anyway, I now understand that I AM my own prince and princess… they are within me! My prince IS HERE. My princess IS HERE. So work on your relationship (HG within) and learn to love one another and heal yourself and the world. BOOM. So that’s it.

Working through lots with addiction. Staci’s book is helping me reflect through her experiences on some of mine. I’ve got so much buried… so much mind wiping and mind slides and mind MUCK. But we’re slogging through. The sexual misery program bit me yesterday, but I got away. I was at a gas pump and a lady in the next aisle was seething baphomet energy and she had these pants with this big wedgie (purposeful), and as soon as I saw it this LUST demon came to try to get me to look more. I said “NO WAY” and hid from her, but it was interesting to see how powerful it was. I’ve given myself to that demon too much. For someone who never cared for sex, I sure have a powerful reaction to things like that. So. More work there.

Earlier this year I had a strange thought where I wondered if I had been part of somehow creating the template for genitals. I know this is a weird thing to say. I’m sorry but it came up again recently and I think maybe there’s something there. So…

-pause, I know this is a lot. Too much stuff for one post, but I haven’t posted forever and I guess it’s all just coming out now. I’m sorry! But I know it’s only really for the container and not really any humans need to hang out with it. So it is what it is. -

So I am a (we are all) artists/creators and I often joked that I had a problem with “worshipping the work of my hands”. I would finish something and then go back to it and look at it and look at it more… it was my ego taking hold of it, really… my ego rolling it around in her hands trying to suck some glory out of it for herself. Often she’d just suck all the energy out of it and leave it dead and lifeless…no longer a co-created gift in and through God, now it was from flesh and feeding the shadow. Anyway… that was a digression because it was the going back to it over and over to see if it was as good as I thought it was that was also a problem and a mind/heartset and something I started observing. SO… I also feel like I had this relationship with genitals. Just a curiosity around them…. all genitals and bums… men, women, animals… just like a “how’s this working out” type of mentality. Is the function of the horse’s vagina working… like can she pee well? How’s that cushie bum? Are those butt feathers working for the rooster? There is sickness mixed in with this, I feel it… but it wasn’t the same as that “lust demon” that I know and have played with in the past… this is a scientific mindset. It’s very strange. So anyway, maybe it was in March or something I thought “could I have been part of the team that created this system”? It was a strange and ungrounded thought - no reason to connect it other than the fact that I was identifying more and more with Unity and God-consciousness.

So the other day I read in the AG that: "The Seraphim were a part of the original creators of the divine human species prototype…". Maybe I’m taking this out of context but I submit it here as potentially related. COULD I have been on the design team?? Either way, I don’t want to think about genitals. Yuck!

I DO also believe I am supposed to be … is healing the word? Repenting? Releasing?… either my past life or ancestral past lives that involved SRA. I believe I was a Freemason (I know little about this group but it came to me) and led meetings where we ceremonially raped and murdered children. I sense that my group was in the Georgia area but that we came up to the Biltmore basement in Asheville for a ceremony (or many?). Blood sacrifice. Pedophilia. Satanic and Luciferian rituals and feeding on the power to fuel our beings and our black wings … we were as Gods… but dark Elohim. Or they were. I don’t know what little ole me, Carissa of the chicken house in North Carolina is doing involved with this stuff… but I’m in it. I think it’s because I’m part of the earth. We all are. I’ve been a lightwokrker and templar and gridworker and grailkeeper and whatever else it’s called … or my God-being or my guidance teams or my God-being (which I AM) has been working on outside of my consciousness (with sometimes seepage through)… anyway. Wow. What a ride. But I’ve got lots of black goo (and sometimes people and pieces and villages) to port or whatever.

Did I ever share this picture of this tree? I saw this in early October … walked by it in the woods and was like “that is an image of ME” … I didn’t have my camera and I asked someone to take a picture of it for me and it’s not a great photo… but it grabbed me. Lots of portals and holes …so many around the other side of this picture...and worship/raising cords or hands or hearts to God … I need to go back and find that tree so I can and take a better picture…. or am I holding on to it? Yeah. Well, very interesting.

If anyone made it through, thank you. I cannot thank you enough for your love and witness. What an incredible journey we are on together. I’m grateful and HONORED to be here with you. Thank you thank you thank you for holding space for me and for yourselves and for all the God-beings anchoring LOVE.

Peace be with you all!
In Love,
Carissa