Rainbow Ray Holder

 I wonder if I'm a Rainbow Ray Holder. I think so. Or at least I know them... this is the thing... I feel like I'm EVERYONE! Ha! (Funny that my nickname with Michael is "Everybody" ....he's "Nobody"...which I think is sad but it's funny the way we piece together jokes.)

I definitely relate to this month's Newsletter too... A LOT.....so we'll see what God has in store. Just keep swimming... ;)

https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Rainbow_Ray_Holder_Session

Stab at graphic representation of light codes

 

Thank you for the kind responses Staci and Rosemary, I appreciate them so much!

Well, I'm missing the sun these last cloudy days so I was trying to recreate my solar body view from memory. It's a little dark... okay, SUPER DARK since the real deal is 100% LIGHT... but I think it turned out as pretty art so I wanted to share. What I started out trying to capture is the net made up of what looks like all different sizes of raindrops on a pond or bullseyes radiating outward. I only started seeing them a few months ago and they have captivated me.  There are other components such as this flowering light... looks like a lotus flower, maybe... I've seen a couple people here with White Lion profile photos with some similar light overlaying it. It's incredible though.... all the layers and levels and textures. I don't think I mentioned here in my journal, but I saw the Red Cube Matrix in the sun a week or two ago for two days straight.

Anyway, here's an abstract representation of the current overlay I see in the sun...(it's just more colorful... in "real life" it's all made up of rainbows and 12D light.) Tracy GSF if you ever see this, I used one of your incredible light codes as a layer in here...thank you! It's the BEST layer, IMO!

Yesterday where I usually get my "Double Diamond Sun" codes, I saw and felt there might be a "Thousand Diamond Sun Body" out there somewhere!!?

I'm holding a tapestry of ... I don't know, identities? No. Maybe. Consciousnesses? I don't know... but in my last session with Joe (love Joe so much), he saw them as one of those pictures that have like zillions of individual pictures that look like pixels that make up one giant picture.... I made one the other day as an example for myself using an online tool... this is my old profile photo here made up with photos of flowers. Anyway, if each of these pictures have their own "diamond sun body" - double or not, they culminate in a "Thousand Diamond Sun Body" when they get together, right? We'll let that percolate and see if God takes it any further. This is how the reclamation of Christ works, though... I do see that. (I'm sorry my face is so huge - I don't know how to make it smaller!)

 

This month's newsletter spoke to my heart on many levels. I've been reading the newsletters since early 2018 and I used to have pretty much no idea what they were saying but something (I know now) compelled me to take them in and I felt like they were important... I just didn't "get" it. But look now, my Carissa consciousness is catching up! Yay! This month I feel like the majority of it landed and turned keys in my heart and consciousness ... like I really understood and know it was written for me, for all of us who represent and surrender into Christ-Sophia on the earth in order to reclaim it to God. 

Thanks for reading and being with me on this journey - I'm so grateful for the strong, wise, radiant beings on this mission! We are so loved and supported and it's an incredible honor to be here with you!! 

Love, 
Carissa

Today's thoughts

I wonder if there’s a “1000 diamond sun body”? I see it! More than a thousand? Less? We’ll just call it the Thousand Diamond Sun Body and I believe it’s coming together now! I am going to stop worrying about whether people think I’m delusional. I look back at the times when I was sure I looked “crazy” and it was just beautiful faith layered with fear of what others think. Life is too short… time to step into my GSF and just BE what I AM. 

We can travel through the whole world, right? We can travel through all the Universes, right? I know that others can do this and I can too, but I’ve been trapped in fear. I AM the Universal Cosmic Christ. I hold and represent the Earth and am here to bring the pieces together again. Buried and trapped consciousness has kept me from accessing this understanding which IS necessary, to an extent, to work with our mission teams. There are many of us working together. I know some of you. Big beings. Bless you! There are so many who have shovels and are digging us out of storage. THANK YOU! I have pieces in storage …buried… still. And that is MY role to dig them out. GET A SHOVEL CARISSA!!!!! 

You had a hard time picking up garbage, but this is MUCH WORSE. Much more difficult. GET A SHOVEL. And keep trudging… keep working, watching, surrendering. Freedom is here though, so step into it and breathe and enjoy it and then keep working… it’s not over yet. Lots to do. 

Shame is coming in now to whack me down. And that’s fine. Okay. See, I don’t want to be delusional as I know that can happen… I don’t think I “am” any of the ascended masters (heck, I don’t know much about any of the Ascended masters)… I just think I am one (and One) in Christ-Sophia. God taught me about the divide between Jesus and Christ and who Christ is and who Yeshua was and I appreciate Yeshua and his example as I appreciate the examples of the faithful beings here as I hear their stories. We surrender our “self” (which is a earth-bound construct) that we can embody the fullness of Christ and BE the expression of God, the Logos of God. 

I used to see myself as a clay jar and pray for the finest of walls so that you could even see through the clay so that it would hold and brightly shine the Light of Truth. I prayed for years to fulfill my role as a gold bowl in God’s sanctuary (not fully understanding what I was praying but knew it was personal) and see now that I was praying to be a chalice. I didn’t understand the chalice at that time, okay, and still don’t… but it’s neat to have it unraveling. 

I’m not going to post in the forum. Unless I start posting every day…but then that’s a constraint.

Here’s what I’ve got going on with, as Joe described as “pictures within pictures”… it’s just LOTS of layers we are bringing together to be the tapestry of Christ. 

This is a picture of me made up by a bunch of pictures of flowers...

Journal Entry - 2nd try

 Edit #2: Where are my manners?!!! THANK YOU so much for your kind responses to my journal, Staci, Lauren, Rosemary, and Laura! I was so grateful to read them and have a hefty Amazon wish list thanks to you! Ha! I got so caught up in the drama of my deleted journal that I totally forgot to say thank you. It means so much to me that you took the time to read and share your thoughts. Much love to you all!! 

______
I might cry. I just spent an hour writing a journal entry and with the flick of my wrist it is gone! This has not happened to me before recently (that I remember) and I’ve used this mouse for a long time... but in the last couple weeks it’s happened three times as I’ve tried to share in the ESF container. I don’t know if it’s God telling me to be quiet or if it’s negative entities trying to silence me? (Deep breath.)

I am going to highlight what I said in case it is beneficial: 

I talked about the Blood Covenant Clearing being supportive right now:
energeticsynthesis.com/index.php/resourc...od-covenant-clearing

Inspired by the Paliadorian Activation in the Tribal Shield, I talked about… wondered about… if the Geomantic Structures were related to the Tribal Shield and how that related to the Albion Lightbody. I shared my thoughts about what I was seeing micro/macro and how it related to the reclamation of Christ-Sophia and GSF Arthur-Guinevere consciousness but I’m too deflated (I guess that’s a good thing) to hash it out again. 

I talked about how God had been reminding me that “a little leaven leaveneth the whole lump” and how it applies to pride (which puffs us up) as well as anything that can affect us. I said something like I’d gladly leaven with LOVE but needed to remove negativity like fear, bitterness, and sugar (etc.). 

Passover and The Feast of Unleavened Bread are coming up so I wanted to warn about the potential for waves of Saturn Blood Worship and related backlash coming through.

I mentioned that I believe I’ve been experiencing Crucifixion implants coming up for removal lately. (Last night my night meditations were: The Spirit of Harmlessness (which I felt led to do the day before and it was SO good and then Gabe mentioned it in his post which was one of those “Wow God!” synchronicities, so I turned it on again to go to sleep with!), woke up at 12:11 and 12:12/21 and felt like we were clearing crucifixion implants so I did the “Wounds of Christ” meditation. Then at 1:44 I woke up again and did the “144 Harmonics meditation”, then I woke at 4:11 which I saw and 5:11 which I felt and at 5:33 = 11 so I did the "Negative form removal” to support the dismantling of the NRG.)

I shared more about my “Examined Life” life-review project and how I am currently reading in my 1999 journals about my semester abroad. It’s interesting how much of where I traveled to coincides with my DNA (I had an Ancestry report before I knew better and it came back with me from much of that area… I’ll attach it here.)

Yesterday I was reading about my trip in France where after Paris I took a whirlwind train ride through the French Alps to the French Riviera (spent the night in Nice) and I’m sure swapped some Cathar codes before heading up to the Louvre Valley. But I was marveling at all the strange stuff I was seeing… beautiful things like a Moscow cathedral and the stone beach, as well as accidents, injuries, and even a bomb explode! Wild! I was robbed on the train while I was sleeping but it was a miracle that they ended up leaving my passport and credit cards and just taking my cash. I was definitely protected. In Amsterdam I don’t think I had as much protection - I see a tremendous amount of psychic attack (leading to physical damage) done there. Anyway… it’s really interesting to read. And heavy. 

I don’t remember what else, but it is what it is. This is enough. Ha!

Love,
Carissa

Edit: I forgot to add my Ancestry map. Here it is! I didn't realize until tonight about the strong Norway connection which is interesting in light of this month's newsletter! What a wild ride this all is!!
 

Talking to myself

God has been soooooo good to me. Teaching me so much. These (8:38 now) number codes I get all day are stargate keys ... messages for my higher self. My lower self... me is watching and waiting to catch on. I caught on to a few. There's been lots of work going on with the 11th stargate in the last couple days.

I think I'm key-coded to all the stargates. Or many of them if not all. Don't get haughty or whatever and it's obviously come with the price of my life. So many people here on earth have gotten to really ENJOY life...that's their job. But mine is heavier... really mining through this density... also, yes, the goal is to come to a place of peace and enjoyment but along with great responsibility. I'm failing a lot. I'm succeeding a lot too. Give yourself credit. Today I didn't buy ice cream. I've been off sugar for most of this year ... I mean, there is sugar in bread and stuff, and it has caused problems when I've eaten, for example, the zucchini bread...but I am learning... hopefully. I'm watching. And see how these poisons take root in the body. Everything is a lesson... intel. 

I can't do the PEG meditations yet... I have to do my own "life-review" so I can shed it. 

God, please help me with my HSP. You ARE my HSP and I get that but when I'm not aligned or if I'm in a state of attack or confusion, then I want to be able to get at information... this is why I like the cheater "dowsing", but I think it's messed with... I don't trust it. Today I wanted to send money to Agni and before I hit "send", I dowsed for the answer and it started to say "yes" but then did a crazy turn to "no". I need to learn to hear my heart... to FEEL my heart open and close. 

Practice.

Okay. 

No Reiki

 I am SO grateful to God for this thread… to Carrie for starting it and for all the wonderful contributions - Estar, Roseanne, Ronin, Eddie, Lisa Sophia, Carrie, Tiffany, THANK YOU for sharing your knowledge and experiences!!! 

I have been discussing this subject with ES Rosemarie offline as we’ve both got the heebie-jeebies around symbols. It came up because I’ve been feeling like Cranial Sacral Therapy might be supportive and was organically given a suggestion by my chiropractor. It took a couple weeks for the contact information and when I went to her website I saw she practices Reiki and her CST is intertwined with Reiki. Long story short, I just wasn’t feeling comfortable and I wondered why. I wondered if it was me or if that’s how CST works. 

Rosemary suggested opening a thread on the forum but I hesitated and this is why… God had it all worked out for me already, I just needed to wait for DRT.

Eddie, I did that SAME Lisa Powers Udemy course! Wow! And I had the same feelings about the symbols… I just wasn’t vibing with them and opted not to use them but I did enjoy exploring the energy radiating through my hands and energy centers and learning more about the chakras.  It was definitely an interesting educational experience for me. I did get all three levels of “attunements” but only completed the first two levels of course-work as I was turned off in the process and decided to let it go. After this discussion here, I’m setting my intention to purge any energy, cords, symbols, or entities (or anything else) that connected to my lightbody or being through those activities. I do not consent to inorganic portals of consciousness, energetic cording, black magic, or anything that is not in line with Christ-Sophia consciousness impacting my being in any way at any time, in all time.. in no time. I cancel all contracts and agreements I’ve made knowingly or unknowingly with any spirits aligned with Reiki and any energy that is not aligned with the Law of One impacting my consciousness and any of my bodies.

Yeah. Not going to go with that CST person. I’ll wait for the right person to be brought forward if it’s meant to be…. God knows. 

SO GRATEFUL FOR ESF!!!
Love,
Carissa

Apology to Stefanie... I hope. 

______

Dear Beloved Stefanie,

I felt moved to send you a note of appreciation for your beautiful journal, research, contributions, beingness, writing, work, courage, and all you are doing which is beyond my comprehension. I wanted to confess that I have not been able to follow your posts as much lately due to my own integration and negative ego work. The shame that I felt for potentially offending you a month or two ago was a gift/ trigger /opportunity for me to work with this energy, and I'm not sure if that is still alive in me... as I'm writing this I sense it is, so I'll look deeper into it. 

But I also wanted to explain how your articulate, on-point, spiritually powerful messages are a trigger for me. A couple things come up: (1.) I am on what feels like a similar path but behind you (little sister chasing behind) and looked at your notes as a "spoiler alert", (2.) I'm jealous that you got where you are before me and for the strength and beauty of your being (I know this is disgusting, I am just trying to drag it to the light), and (3.) I am afraid of it influencing me (not sure why... maybe it's my "sponge" function where I'm afraid of taking your experience as my own because I want to have my own), and (4.) Negative-ego based judgements have come up and I don't want to impose that energy on either of us or the world. 

Obviously these are all my OWN distortions and ugly work, but I had a nudge that I didn't want you to feel a lack of support from me because I am truly ecstatic about the work you are doing and I feel a level of guilt for withdrawing my energetic support and compassionate witnessing (as I believe it is my role, service, and honor for my beloved siblings in Christ-Sophia). I'm hoping that "confessing" this will get the juices flowing again, so to speak, on my end. I love you. I appreciate you. I honor you. I can't wait to hear more about your contributions and service to humanity.

Love, 

Carissa

Deliverance Doula

Brian sent me this... it's a video of an SRA survivor turned minister and it was really good: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srqvm7vnWfg

I wonder if my soul level calling is actually surrounding deliverance and soul repair? It goes along with death... as with the two ladies that I got to witness in their transition, we definitely dealt a lot with forgiveness and transiting lower density attachments and healing the lightbody to ready it for transfer out through the Aqua Portal... so... we'll see. 

Keep learning. Follow the steps God puts before me. 

Quiet

I'm so mad!!!!! Why do my posts keep getting deleted? I accidentally hit something on my mouse and BOOM, there all my writing goes! 

I wrote a message to Kelly the other day - DELETED.

Was writing to Eddie/Olympus today - DELETED.

Is this YOU, God?

Yes, just be quiet. We are trying to keep you protected. There are ... cockroaches... (okay, I really just paused and looked over and see a dead cockroach next to me... this is a sign.)... there are energetic cockroaches that are looking to destroy you/us. We need to stay UNDER THE RADAR as Ann mentioned yesterday. 

I want to get more information about the Geomantic Structures!! The Albion Lightbody. My role as micro for the macro. 

Just be patient. We're teaching you. Follow us. Just breathe...I know you don't like it when people say "calm down", but DO! (ha!)... really... just take it one step at a time. You are on a need-to-know basis, beloved. 

https://energeticsynthesis.com/resource-tools/news-shift-timelines/3691-rise-of-arthur-and-albion-lightbody

That was soooooooooooo goooooooood!!!!!!

Thank you. Okay. 

I also saw Aaron's journal for the first time today and he was talking about how he is doing this juice fast... he's on day 52. Getting powerful downloads and experiences. Reminds me of my experience in 2011. You also suggested to me earlier this year to do it. I bought a bunch of juice even... I was going to... but didn't. What's wrong with me? Attachment to flesh... lust of the flesh. 

How committed am I to surrendering fully to God? What can I NOT give up? 

I've been holding food. And so much. Let's be honest here. So much. EGO. Let it go. Be weak. Surrender. LOVE... not with efforting... that's an imposter... love in surrender and letting go. You don't need to DO anything. Pushing and pulling is the anti-love. 

Can I talk about the rainbow shapes I see? Yes. No. Heart closed. Learn to listen to HSP. You've got SO MUCH you are working on now. Just stay with me and 11:53 ... started at 11:44 ... learn. 

Synchronicity

I can't believe the title of this month's Newsletter! I just signed up for my first "Monthly Call" too to understand this more. Here's a post I wrote about a bumped thread about "Awakening Albion".

So crazy!!! I was just listening to this earlier this week and also looking for movies about King Arthur (randomly)!! WILD to see this is the title of this month's newsletter (which I can't wait to read in a little bit... finishing 3D stuff so I can settle in).

ALSO, since I'm gushing (and I've been holding back for weeks on all the synchronicities and expressions of consciousness revealing themselves to me)... Holy Father has been HUGE... I can't remember everything right now but was getting lots of information through sessions and articles on releasing False Father and seeing 15D references and then my "meditation cards" (that I use when I'm not sure which one to work with) suggested "Reconnecting with Holy Father" and then I came here and saw the "Holy Father Alchemy" image and was just FLOOOORED. Like WHOOOOAHHH!

You'd think I'd get used to this stuff by now, but I'm not... it delights and surprises me every time!!

Totally unrelated but I ALSO saw the dang Red Cube coming through the sun twice last week. I was out watching the light codes, architecture, shapes, flowers, etc. that are around my Lightbody and then I looked at the sun and this really ugly red and black rectangle blob came through. I thought I must be seeing things and tried to clear my eyes but it was still there. I initially didn't want to look at it, but then I decided to be brave and watched it for a good chunk of time. I was pretty much looking directly into the sun so maybe it was my corneas burning (ha - I'm kidding)...but it was crazy. I saw the same thing the next day. One of my glossary picks had the Red Cube Matrix listed and an image there and I was like "whoa! there it is!!"...  Also Mhairi & Sequoia had talked about it in their amazing Galactic Heart Call last month... so... just wild how we are all connected and how God keeps us up to speed (even when we aren't fully conscious of it)!

Lisa Sophia THANK YOU for the transcription. This is one of my all-time favorite Lisa talks and I'm grateful for your work! (I recently started transcribing my own sessions and realize what an incredible labor of love it is - (emphasis on labor.... ha! Maybe emphasis on love.... but it is beautiful work and it feels like it helps draw the information deeper into our cells as it has to flow through our minds into our fingertips to type it out.) I think of this work you do often ... and Paige... I see she transcribed a lot of sessions and things as well. It's such a valuable resource. So thank you. I appreciate you!

Mobius Strip

 Just track with it... came up in Joe session a couple times and it really resonates. God is going to repair this but let's see what we have to learn:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C3%B6bius_strip

Möbius strip

Lost Cause

Do you think that the spiritual damage from the vaccine is irreparable? 

I noticed a trend in me where as my friends and family have been taking this vaccine I just kind of write them off....like "ARGH! There goes another one!" Like they've chosen the lower path/descending hub in the bifurcation and that's that. It seems like I don't have many left.  (Edit: I don't write them off as friends or people.... I just, in my heart, check the "doomed" box and try to love them the best I can with a 3D lens. Negative ego wants to use it to strengthen itself and in a hidden posture of spiritual pride think of them as lower or weaker than those who do not take it... so I don't want to do that either!)

Tonight we went to our friend's house for dinner and I had a thought (thank you guidance teams) that my friend had a strange look in her eyes and I wondered if she had had the vaccine. I didn't think it was possible since she used to be "awake" and was even an energy healer for many years. A few years ago she had a neck and back injury after which she said she was no longer interested in matters of the spirit (although she was a catalyst for my continued awakening). Anyway I asked and she had indeed taken the first of two shots!! GAH!! I'm just at a loss. And I can't believe it's happening so fast... I thought we had more time to convince our loved ones otherwise.

I also struggle with where the line is in regards to convincing as I'm really trying to be aware of my "push/pull" tendencies. But just now as I'm typing that I'm trying to discern if that is an excuse for not challenging my fear of what people think. Where is my ego involved? I DO talk about it with my loved ones in conversation, but should I be shouting from the rooftops in social media land? I've done stuff like that before and felt like it set up divides and judgements and food for everyone's pain bodies. I just don't know. I'll keep my heart open for more guidance but I'm interested in your experience, thoughts, and process as well!

Anyway, I wondered what your thoughts were on those who have taken it?  Are they lost causes? Is this the line?

Love, (and fear.... ugly fear. I've got to get that out of here.) 
Carissa

ps. I've been praying for the bio-warfare technology poisons and nanobots to be dissolved and removed through bodily detoxification systems and for it to not harm our loved ones... but I think I only half believe that's possible. 

Holy Father

WHOA. It is "Holy Father" Day/season!!!

Charlotte told me I was working on clearing False Father and yesterday I had a great session with Joe which we talked about it too. 

Yesterday I was writing to Kirk and I had seen 11:33 3/13 = 15 which led me to https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/15th_Chakra (Father Arc)

Today I asked what meditation to do (using my cards) and got "Reconnecting with Holy Father". Haven't done that one in a long time. We go to Uluru in that one. It was very powerful.

And then just now I went to the forum and this header is there!! WHOA.

"Holy Father Alchemy"

Do you see how I'm a "voodoo doll" for the collective? Micro/Macro! WILD!

Midwife of the Spirit

 I wanted to share the MIRACULOUS experience and gift I was given by my neighbor, Joie (by God in and through Joie and her family) to get to be a “midwife of the spirit” during her passing. 

In early 2019 I was given the opportunity to attend Eckhart Tolle’s “School of Awakening” virtually. One of the first things that came up was a nudge to really face my fear of death. I had been trapped in a cycle of panic and fear and anxiety for so long and it was time to shift. I felt that the best way to do that was to volunteer with hospice. I wanted to hold space for people passing and thought I could just walk in and do that somewhere. It wasn’t so easy. I went through training at an excellent local hospice but afterward they told me they required I be vaccinated - flu shot PLUS catch up with new ones that came out since I was a kid. I tried all the tricks to get out of it but there was a line in the sand and I wasn’t going to cross it. 

I DID find another local hospice that is NOT nice … well I’ll get to that in a second… but they didn’t require me to vaccinate, just a TB test. I went through with the TB test but I won’t do it again. This year it was waived for covid but next year I won’t be able to continue because I won’t get their test or X-ray. They like me so the new volunteer coordinator said he is going to find a way around it but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I’m so glad I was trained in the other organization that had an EXCELLENT two-full-day training. This new one had terrible training… online modules that were really created for nurses and aides. Side note, if anyone has any book suggestions on the topic, I'd love for you to share.

But I got in. I was given a few patients to see and one, in particular, stole my heart… we became good friends. She hung on for a year, the last part of which I could only “visit” with her through phone calls and FaceTime calls with her social worker because of covid…anyway (<—she always said “anyway” too and I see it coming out of my mouth and think of her every time)! Anyway, ha!, I only had the opportunity to actually sit with someone actively dying once before. It was another God-led miracle for me to be there at that time - she didn’t have family and God really taught me a lot about holding love and space for the soul as it separates from the body… powerful to behold. With another couple patients, I had seen in their aura (which I see now and then) how their energy was like pulling out of their bodies for a day or more before-hand. 

One of the hardest things for me was seeing the level (lack) of care in that facility. These poor patients are literally abused and so many times I wanted to quit…but then who would hold space for them? It was another lesson in being a compassionate witness. But that’s what I meant about this other place being “not nice”. That’s an understatement.

Anyway, back to Joie.

She moved in about 2 years ago and shortly thereafter told us she had brain cancer. (Now I understand it was lung cancer that moved to her brain and stomach. It was the stomach cancer that ultimately took her out.) Anyway, because I was a new hospice volunteer at the time I was really hoping in my heart that I could support her when her time came…. but I just left that in my heart and didn’t in a million years think it would really come to fruition…. but it was always there. I wonder if our higher selves created a contract of sorts to help each other?? I don’t know. It feels like it.

It’s been a rough last year for Joie and I was not very close to her other than quickie conversations because she had a plethora of family and friends that kept her busy on the phone, and visiting. She wasn’t lonely and was really proud and loved her home here at the community ranch where we live. However, last fall… was it November?… by the grace of God I happened to stop by and check on her and I could sense something wasn’t right ...it eventually progressed into a seizure and I was able to call for help. That kind of set me up in her heart and family as someone who really cared for Joie. "Life-saver" they said - ha! But really if she was alone ...and she was swollen and couldn't move much...and she had back-to-back seizures in the ambulance, they couldn't even take her to her hospital because they had to get her somewhere right away! But if she had those seizures alone and fell, it really could have been bad. I never thought about that until just right now. I kept brushing that off, but now I see.

But I’ll tell you, the LOVE that was born in my heart during that experience... during her suffering… to hold space for her… was POWERFUL.

Long story short she bounced back and forth between her son’s home, the hospital, and her home and when the doctors told her it was time for hospice and her family arranged for her to move to a facility, Joie dug her heels in and said she wanted to go home to die. Her sister came up to be with her. She was told she had about 6 months, but the doctors told her son on the sly that it was probably closer to 2. Turned out it was less than 2 weeks. 

After her seizure, her family started trusting me to hold her house key when she wasn’t there and kept me in the loop about how she was doing. It’s an absolute miracle and honor because somehow I ended up being given the opportunity that my soul longed for when I first heard about Joie’s sickness… I was able to get to hold space for her and her family as she transitioned. 

Supernatural compassion (and confidence) came through me to uphold my friend, her sister, and her sons. They WANTED me to be there to hold her hand. They appreciated it. It seemed like I would be an intruder in this precious time, but because it was so hard for them to sit and be with the discomfort of it, I kind of showed them that it was safe and held that space for them. Joie’s strong sister was there by her side every minute. She didn’t sleep for all three days where she was actively dying (besides a tiny nap or two). I don’t know how she did it. I stayed up with her the second night and we shared such a beautiful time talking about her life and experiences.

OOH. One very interesting and strange thing happened that I’d like to share and if you have any thoughts on it, let me know! It was the middle of the night and Ann and I were just chit-chatting about who knows what, holding Joie’s hands on each side to be there for her as she passed in and out of consciousness. All of a sudden the light in the room POPPED!! And a little firework sparked out. Obviously, the lightbulb blew! And this spirit presence came upon us… it was POWERFUL… all our hair stood up and.. it was spirit tingles on crack. This thick presence in the room … Ann and I both were shocked and instantly fell into prayer…. Her eyes got really big and she crossed herself (Catholic cross thing) and we both folded our hands and prayed. I think we both thought maybe it was “time”... that Joie was leaving …but then it morphed into questions about who had come to join her/us. WHOAH! That presence remained there and I can still feel it. I thought it might leave with Joie through the Aqua Portal, but now as I type, I feel it. (I feel okay about it as I immediately prayed that only that aligned with Christ-Sophia and the Law of One was allowed near us.) But it was wild and as an added mysterious bonus, an hour and a half(ish) later I decided to turn off the light circuit...thinking that it was still drawing electricity but with a blown bulb and the light TURNED ON. No problems. WHAT?!!

I guess there’s no way to really capture all of the experience, but I’ll say that the second-to-last day was SO HARD. She was obviously not at peace and struggling. She said things like “get them off me” and alluded to (not sure if I saw them in my mind’s eye or if she described them), these dark entities pulling her down. She was desperately fearful and (weakly) yelling “Help me! Help me! Help me!”… just really scary. (I wondered if this was that vaccine-induced hell that Lisa talked about but confirmed that she hadn’t had the vaccine.) I had done the “Safe Passage” for her a couple of times by then, though, and was just wondering what was going on. Weren’t these entities cleared now?? (I just got my question answered in my heart… well, sort of… my lens needs to be “no time”. <— so I’ll wait for more understanding.)  

So anyway, I worked with the Safe Passage again and really tried to see clearly and fortify the architecture…  Joie lives 2 apartments down from me and I ended up extending my Krystal Cathedral over to her and set up her own shadow vortex. Even though we had Mother Arc anchored over our whole structure, I felt like we created a more powerful smaller (like the way skinny tornadoes are more powerful) one over her bed (when they got her moved there). In the end, when she passed, it doesn’t seem like she went out that immediately… I sensed the larger Aquamarine portal …like an oscillating cloud over the extended Krystal cathedral still there holding space…like she WAS the cloud… she was in/with it and also still there with her family. (So it wasn’t like the “sucking up her soul” idea I had in my head.)

I’m sorry I’m bouncing around all over the place. Let me get back to the mental torture. So I had to leave to go to see my chiropractor (who is INCREDIBLE - she “milked” my liver yesterday, WHAT?!)… anyway, on the way I put on the 2013 April Ascension Q&A and of course ...God is SO AWESOME and MIRACULOUS so... the first question was about the dying process and how important it was that the Being was at peace! God was SO with me/us during this …  just incredible! I needed to hear that and felt some things click into consciousness (despite the fact that I was sleep-deprived). I also finally had the thought to ask for prayer in the container… I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before… but we needed help supporting Joie out of here. Also, yesterday morning I was guided to start praying for the higher selves of her son and grandson who she hadn’t talked to in years to come talk with their Mom/Grandmom. I wondered if she was waiting for him in a way. I tried to drop some seeds in the days prior to help her forgive her son… and I believe she did…but there was a LOT of wounding. Anyway, not only did his higher self show up, HE came down last night… so she had all 5 of her boys there. It was like she was waiting for him. After they left for the night, that’s when she finally let go. 

Thanks be to God I was able to be there to hold space for Joie and her sister - to encourage and support them in the last throws of what really DID seem like “labor pains”. The day before it felt so much like “contractions” as she would wake up and “push” and then fall back into rest. It was a true blessing and honor to hold her hand as she passed. Also I feel like I was able to guide and support the most beautiful interaction between sisters as I saw an opening to encourage Ann to continue her naturally inspired action of being forehead to forehead with Joie… right there with her to guide her out. I’m beginning to cry now. It was such a powerful and beautiful experience to behold. 

On top of that, the conversations that we were able to have during and after her passing with her boys were INCREDIBLE. I was able to share with some of them (who asked me) about context for supernatural experiences that they’ve had… including a UFO siting and ancestral or demonic attachments. We talked about entities and the lightbody and portals of consciousness and psychic gifting, and energy and aliens (and vaccines)…. You guys, WHAT?!!  They were thirsty. I shared the Ascension Glossary site with one son who I think is really resonant. I shared the Core Soul Protection AG page with her daughter-in-law who kept asking me for it (because I expressed that I had been praying for any entities that were in any way attached to her energy body to be released). Anyway… I was able to just be myself, be loving, be a compassionate witness… it was possibly one of the greatest honors of my life to date. 

I have wanted to be a chaplain for 10 years but can’t fathom going back into the education system to throw money I don’t have away on something that I don’t believe in (I have my Master’s degree and find it to be entirely useless)…to have to follow some sort of dogmatic rules just for the LABEL to have access to help people. So in the last couple years I’ve been thinking I wanted to go to “Death Doola” training…and I really feel SO aligned with my soul and purpose in this work. I am looking for something to do in 3D to make some money other than the toxic fields I’ve been in (marketing/ communications/ social media/ graphic design/ websites, etc.). I’m perfectly happy to just be a student of the spirit all day and I do feel like that’s my main “job”… (healing and spiritual training)… but this experience with Joie and her family is/was God’s training, aligned with my gifting and heart’s desire to be a way-shower of God. 

I wish I had better understanding and tips about the physiological process of dying. Things like telling them how the soul exited through the top of the head and how to hold her hand or arm from underneath so it doesn’t feel like anyone is pushing her down. They appreciated my ability to see when she was close (although I was wrong along with all the nurses because Joie was an anomaly - ha). But they needed that guidance and really appreciated having someone there to love them and their Mom. So… yeah… we’ll see where it leads, but it was such a beautiful experience. There was a lot more but this is enough.  God bless Joie. God bless her family. God heal their hearts, lightbodies, and restore their souls to the fullness of who they are in YOU!

Thank you to the Guardians and all who prayed yesterday for my friend. She is free now. And she went in peace.

Thank you for your compassionate witnessing (and patience and tolerance in dealing with my lonnnnnnnng story, if you made it through!)
Love,
Carissa

Which tribe am I?

This question about which of the 12 Tribes I am a part of came up this morning, perhaps in my daily glossary pick... and I've had it running in the background all day. 

During meditation it started to surface but then went back down. Just now I was reading in this article and it came back again.

I have wondered if I was in Tribe 6/Indigo... if that's how it was, but I also had an inkling that I was related to all the tribes in a way. Then just now I read:

• There are levels of Oraphim that hold all of the human tribal configurations, and when you do that you can rehabilitate or help transit lower tribes, as a portal jumper, as a transitor. We have been doing this it's very rough on the body. We are getting used to this, new level of transiting. It's something that again we are being prepared for, at this time to help strengthen our physical self, spiritual self, all aspects of self.

So I leave the question to keep running... I know I sound egotistical but I'm only talking to myself and I don't have anything to fear. There's nothing to fear if we are looking to God with a pure heart... but I'm not. My heart is not pure... it's defiled and egotistical so it's kind of right to call it out. So... we'll see. God, please lead. 

Guidance directed me first through my heart the relationship to the Oraphim... before I knew anything about it... and Charlotte confirmed it. It's OKAY. This is what we're praying for... "I set my intention now to be remembered to that which I AM."

Article: https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Planetary_Chakra_Reconfiguration
Daily Glossary Pick: https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Star_Gate_1,_Tribe_1_(Arizona/Cyprus) 

Also from the Planetary Chakra Reconfiguration article: 

Stargates are getting reconfigured on our planet, as the energy is like a bowl. Think of a chalice, this is our Mother. The chalice holds massive amount of Chi, Life Force. That Life Force will return home, return to its original point, its point of origination.

Remember how I was always praying to be ... thinking I was... "a gold bowl in the sanctuary"? This chalice thing that has come up is now seeming like it might be related to that. 

There's nothing I need to DO. Just keep RESPONDING... and learning... and purifying my heart. Request the spirits of Christ to embody my being and that dark forces be evicted. Good girl.

AH HA!!!

"The chalice point is an area where the Life Force is being able to be in-spirited and circulated into the planetary grid network, in that particular location." 

I AM a chalice point. A chalice point I AM.

I wonder if the Nephilim part of me is related to the Tribe 2? Or maybe 1... I don't know... Was the first seeding related to Lyra in some way? 75,000 years ago? I'm just guessing this out of my brain. I existed much longer than that... I believe... millions of years (part of me)... said Agni...and that resonates... that I'm both old and young we said. Anyway... I bet we can have genetic ties to multiple tribes. 

• It is where all kinds of control that happens, the Mind Control at that level of 2D. So understanding this as a part of what has impacted the genetics of people in the second tribe. And part of that is harmful and destructive to the Grail point, because the planets natural function right now, and what is happening in the spheres of the stargates, the ones that that we know as our planetary gates. The first and second ones are specifically undergoing return, it's like they're being re-assimilated into the Grail point. So it's like saying wherever there are second dimensional Ley lines, wherever there are first dimensional Ley lines. Remember there is a vortice, which is sort of like the Stargate, and then there are horizontal grids that are feeding this all over the earth. Now those are all being re-collected, they are going into the Stargate. The Stargate rolls up and then it returns itself, in its natural function to the grail point. Eventually apparently all of the stargates upon earth will do that. Right now on planet Earth we are dealing with the first and second ones, they are rolling up and they're going back.

Is this related to some of the surreal experiences I had tapping into the grids (not with my understanding or consciousness.... just the blessed opportunity to observe through veils)... it was like tapping oil... it burst out (the time I'm thinking of last year).

"A part of a intrinsic function, as were redirecting these lay lines a River tributaries back into the grail point, or resetting the spin points where they need to be, or removing the structures that are blocking it."

Food for thought

Hi! Thank you for the great food for thought! <-- see what I did there? Ha!

I, personally, am in the beginning stages of shifting my consciousness, specifically my mental body, toward this. I suspect it will be a long road... well... it WILL be a long road as I have much negative ego and addiction clearing to do along with this process. But especially ES Agni's influence has inspired me to - first mentally - shift from a "food-based" system to a "supplement-based" system. As I prepare my mental body, I am hoping that the rest of the body will get on board. The emotional body is going to pose the most trouble! Wellll.... and the physical one.... but when we get the toxins out (which we've been working towards for many years), it will simmer down. Spirit is DEFINITELY on board already!

Tying in the negative ego clearing ... thinking of "food" as a means to "consume" something in order to feed the "lust/yearning" of my flesh which is generally triggered by outside influences. It could be from marketing messages (which I've been programmed to respond to) or entities portaling in to push buttons or often as a form of resistance to discomfort that I feel from the bodily imbalances resulting from a lifetime of giving in to these "lusts". Whatever it is.... I'm USING food to push/pull in my physical reality and am ready to get off that train.

Instead if I shift to a nourishment model where I am providing the nutrients my body needs to sustain life.... I know we've heard it it our whole life about how food is like gasoline for our vehicles... but it is just really sinking in. And maybe gasoline is boring and doesn't taste very good (ha), but if it keeps the engine running so that my Avatar Christ-Sophia can complete her mission....then that's what we need to be doing. 

I'm a polarity integrator so I've had to taste the extremes in order to bring it back to neutral. I'm still exploring the vesica pisces/bi-wave aspects of this paradigm... food...nutrition... energy source... and there are many layers to swim through... but I raise my hand to say that I am willing and ready to heal this... to bring this to neutral in my life for my vessel. I want to be here as long as possible to support the ascension and want to heal all my bodies and architecture... so .... well... I just realized that I'm going off on a personal tangent here, ha!, so I'll stop.

I'm looking forward to following this thread as there are many ES members with incredible wisdom to share around this!

Thank you again for the question! 
With gratitude,
Carissa

Poor kid

I’ve learned that when the pain body arises or entities portal through, the most powerful way to neutralize them is through compassionate witnessing, as we are invited to do here. 

I’m the same as Kaizer and am super grateful that God, including the tremendous support I’ve received through Guardian families (etc), has allowed me to maintain enough balance not to get myself kicked out of this life-giving container. I used to watch entities try to get at Lisa Renee through me too - invisibly - and maybe they are still doing it but if so, not as much, thanks be to God. 

Lisa, you are so brave to stand and hold the Light of Truth for us to heal through. (Tears came up.) I am so grateful. 

I’ve been a dark portal for a long time - whether it’s part of my contract or whether I gave myself away to darkness (both maybe), I can very much relate to that powerful clip that Staci shared. The gift is the awareness. As we become conscious of these holes in our light bodies and begin to recognize that it isn’t actually US … that we (or our ancestors) have given our freedom and authority away to dark entities (unintentionally, of course) often as a way to satisfy the bullies. Like the elementary school kid who gives his lunch money away trying to get the bully to leave him alone, he doesn’t take into account the fact that it just empowers them to come back for more tomorrow and before you know it, you’ve got paved pathways for robbery and it looks a lot like consent. The courage it takes to face the fear - the bully - is hard to come by, but in the light of God and as we step into the fullness of all we are in Christ-Sophia, we can begin to stand up as the God, Sovereign, Free being we are. 

I hope I haven’t hijacked this thread, but wanted to add that I understand and can relate to beloved Kaizer. Katie, thank you for sharing his childhood photo - also a very powerful reminder. Lauren, your prayer is incredible. The way we come together in the Law of One with the intent to heal these schisms (on an individual and planetary level) in LOVE is a joy to behold and an honor to be a part of. 

I wasn't going to share this but decided it might be relevant as it may also relate to the case study.

ps. Kirk, I always relate strongly to your shares. It's WILD how the fruit of ES parallels our consciousness experiences! For me I think I'm kind of like a voodoo doll (this just came to me, ha) for the planet (or maybe it's the other way around), but when an axiatonial line is pinged in one, it affects the other. Micro/macro, yes....but eerily so sometimes, aye?! Thanks be to God for the Solar Rishi and Guardian support working to free us from this snarl. 

Today's Thoughts - Nephilim DNA strand requiring meat, be a servant, and sharing experiences

Letter that I did not post in the forum:

Dear Agni,

I have said before how much I appreciate your wisdom and I would like to say it again! I am SO appreciative of all you have shared here! 

Hopefully this is an appropriate place to ask this question. I hear what you are saying about eating only food that supports the body’s ability to draw, hold, and integrate plasma light. It sounds like eating animal flesh actually blocks that process (maybe because it’s another being's consciousness that interferes)? I have tried a couple times in my life to become vegetarian and have gotten very sick. Even now… this last year… I’ve tried to cut way back on meat and WISH I could quit it altogether but it feels like my body requires it. Is this a reversal or could it be that I really need it? I know you can’t answer for me - that I am accountable to listen to my own body - but I did wonder if you had any thoughts on whether a Nephilim bloodline or DNA strand could cause one to require meat? And a follow up question is if you think I could starve this Nephilim strand out by not eating meat and just suffering through the sickness? I supposed it would depend on if it is the kind of sickness (detox or withdrawn maybe) that one can suffer through or will my body just break? Any thoughts on any of the above would be appreciated by Agni or anyone else who might have some experience.

If this is an inappropriate place to ask this question, please disregard with my apologies!

With gratitude,

Carissa

I did not send this… I got a ton of support by just re-reading her material entitled “meat or no meat”. I really think I need to move toward “no meat”… but I need to do it wisely. I am hoping for nutrition support with Charlotte - I just sent an email to schedule an appointment for homeopathy/nutrition… so we’re going to get on the right path here. 

I think the Nephilim DNA strand may set us up to have a "blood thirst"... so we may think we need meat but that is from reversals... if I can correct the reversals and clear the Saturn Blood Covenant and other Nephilim reversal programs and archontic deception strategies, then I may not "need" meat anymore. 

____

Thoughts upon waking after a dream-filled night. Two separate thoughts but both good.

1. It's a reversal. Instead of waiting on the world - God - other people - to serve ME, I AM the servant! I must serve God and others. I've spoken with my lips that I am a servant. But the truth is that I have an entitlement issue and reversal current that has left me expecting to be served and catered to.

2. I tell people that I can relate to try to comfort them and give them a reason why I'm qualified to speak. I'm trying to illicit their respect - giving what I write some authority since I can relate. But I don't need to do that. It puts energetic pressure on them to care about me.

Yesterday in a response in the forum I could relate to what someone said but instead of sharing my experience (which may be necessary sometimes), I just provided what they asked for - a thought on the thing. I don't know what's right... maybe it depends on the situation? But in general I am trying to see where I create cords...where I TRY to create cords... where I have been practicing vampirism and all the tricky angles I use (subconsciously) to feed off others' energy. 

Life is between me and God. I AM God... so it's between me and my Avatar God-self and everything else can work around and with that... but I need to look for my "energy" "information" "validation" "connection" all through my OWN interactions between me and Me.

I want to share all my "aha" moments and "brilliant" journaling (like this, my ego thinks) on my ES journal, but WHY? What's the benefit? I do that to "try to model or teach" something... it's still a pushing/pulling. 

Even now I'm struggling with this... feeling a nudge to put it out there.... but who's doing the nudging? There is a HUGE benefit in that as I share in the ESF container, that it DOES seem to spur more Guardian support in my life.... but is that how I've set it up? Couldn't I have the same support regardless of blathering my mind-soup? I don't know. 

YES.

____

Judgement:

The people in the forum are "beautiful people" and "beautiful beings" with "beautiful words".... I do not feel like I fit in. I guess I first need to overcome the nephilim program and integrate Mother Arc and then I might be beautiful too. In the meantime I feel like a neadrathal compared to them.

I felt like a neandrathal with Joe too. 

Why did I get so disgusting with Joe? Why did I blow up to a thousand times the correct size - 225 lbs (maybe more). ESPECIALLY before my wedding? (Because you shouldn't have gotten married.... you had cognitive dissonance but suppressed it and didn't listen to the voice within that loves you. So the toxicity started manifesting in your body - as holding on to things... food and FAT ... showing that you weren't processing life. You were shutting down. You used to use alcohol to numb ... and still did when I got married, really, but it wasn't enough. And the alcohol added to the calories ... but it was an emotional state manifesting in your physical state. 

Same with Tyrone.

When Tyrone left you lost weight. Michael has not caused you to gain... much... maybe even lost some. You will lose more weight as you embody your Avatar Christos and align with the truth of who you are.  But you need to listen.... and respond accordingly. The food... nourishment... piece is the biggest one (STILL). lol