Processing

I am trying to teach people - show people- change people. I get upset and rage inside for feeling unjustly accused. I am the problem, not others. Everyone is entitled to their own experience - and I need to stay out of the way with my opinions and energies trying to change that. When we get involved (like Ben’s hay) isn’t it then my responsibility? And what about when animals come to us asking for help. That’s the thing- I am responsible for responding to that which is handed to me to deal with. Otherwise I need to keep my eyes down and stay in my own lane.  I’ve thought that I was so good for the eat I showed initiative and took responsibility without being asked - trying to earn bonus points for caring. See how good I am?? That’s what I’m always asking the world - see how good I am? So NOW might I be worthy of love attention affection?? 

My love attention affection needs to come from within - my true parents- Holy Father and Holy Mother.

_____

Here's a response I made in the forum too that I want to hold on to:

Dear Izumi and Melanie,
Thank you both so much for your shares - definitely resonated. 

Melanie said: Then the number 23 connected to gender reversals specifically of the feminine energy principle.

Izumi said: 23 is the number the word “moon” adds up to in Chaldean numerology

I've been feeling that the number 23 (which I still see many times a day along with so many other numbers that feel like puzzle pieces) relates to the Lunar Forces and Dark Mother matrix that is being purged these days. I also picked up that the number 5 (2+3) was the number of man and maybe related to our ego-self. 

Also THIS is fascinating! 

 Izumi said: I was seeing 23/moon a LOT when I was struggling the most with my gender identity. Surprisingly (to me anyway) the more I’ve connected with the sun, the more feminine I feel. I’m still androgynous but feel much more natural, balanced, and happy. 

As so much of the work we are doing now is about dissolving Lunar influences and restoring our Solar Feminine Christ consciousness.... and gender principle correction... this is ON POINT for me! I'm having the same experience with becoming more feminine, natural and balanced (though I have a long way to go - ha!). Holy Mother is stepping down to support this energetic synthesis and it is SO beautiful to behold!

Anyway, thank you so much for your contributions! I appreciate it so much. 
Love,
Carissa