Not about comfort

On my walk with Moses yesterday (where I realized that I prefer walking alone vs. with Paul, although this morning Paul surprised me by getting the dogs ready and meeting me at the barn).... I realized that I did not sign up to come to this earth to be comfortable. I came here to explore these dimensions and layers of the physical matrix. I came to stretch myself and heal the fullness of all we are. 10/10:44 (I also got 10/10:10) and 10/9:55... lot of that.

...anyway... as much as I'd like a cushy life with a big house and all the money in the world, that's not what I came for. That's not who I AM. 

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10/11:12

There's something with addiction...food addiction is what I'm (obviously) working with... and similarity to the way the Pain Body feeds. 

I don't know if I was hungry and craving something or just craving it tonight. I DID explore my desire for a "No weigh Wednesday" sundae with Ryan and he took me to the store and bought me some strawberries and lemons instead. He is SO good to me!! We played rummy and watched Jeopardy and made and ate dinner together and talked (had a bit of a misunderstanding that fueled us to find deeper understanding between us. It's a hard but powerful process). 

I'm feeling a little dizzy. Could it be the almonds? I ate some almond crackers with almond butter and strawberries and strawberry jam.

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When one door closes, another cracks open.

I am reading between the lines that I did not get the SouthLight Transition Management PSS role...I have to wait to hear until the end of next week. HOWEVER, I DID get an email this afternoon where Susan Cachay may have some work as a Mineral Nutritional Balancing Practitioner. Could be a ton of people... so a ton of practice... really dig in to that role. God's will be done!

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I'm pretty tired so not firing on all cylinders but wanted to make note about how much I love Ryan and how great I think he is. It's not easy, but it is beautiful and I think we are really making headway and helping one another a lot. It's nice to be loved back and cared for back and he is very in-tune with me. Tonight I was trying to process a blip we had (where I was micromanaging the salad and then didn't communicate with him properly... just a stupid thing)... but I was trying to move forward and was processing it internally but he could tell I was "off" and started the "are you okay?" thing and I said I was, but I really wasn't on all layers because I was processing that... but he invited me to actually discuss it with him and work through it because he could feel the separation while I was thinking of it on my own. He is just suuuuuuper sensitive. Which is good. But we also need to learn to shield and turn down our sensitivity some so we can have healthy interactions.