Thank you for bringing forward this topic of harmlessness, Melanie. Really resonates. I'm new to the group (thank you for the invite!) so not sure if it's appropriate to share/bounce things off everyone? I guess I'll try it and see where it goes. I always welcome feedback and shared thoughts and experiences.
I'm currently grappling with the topic of "harmlessness" in my relationship with my boyfriend in a different way than I have before. I have been trying not to apply "judgement" in regards to his actions (or thoughts or emotions) ... trying to "hold space" (but is there still judgement going on behind my veil anyway?). I thought this was the holy way to be... the kind way... but it's been very strange because he keeps asking me for feedback and my thoughts ... asking me to tell him what he doesn't see in himself. He almost gets upset about it... like it's my "job" to reflect back to him.
I think this is sticky business because frankly how do I know that what I am seeing is "correct"? We really ARE mirrors for each other and God keeps showing me that. You've heard that old adage that when you point your finger at someone, there are 3 (or 4?) pointing right back at you?! I've learned that to be true. So how can I feel confident sharing my feelings? What if they're wrong? Aren't I harming him with my perceptions and judgements? (Even if they are shared in love?)
It's strange but the two times I've "given in" and shared my frank feelings, he has instantly brightened. I don't know if his pain body was "fed" by this and let go of him, or if it was legitimately supportive? Anyway... I'm grateful for this space to share my experience and processing and ask God for more direction and insight into the matter.
Much love to you all! <3
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