My AG pick:
https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Nephilim
and some advice I was drawn to:
https://esfoundations.com/awake/healthy-boundaries/168-healthy-boundaries
"The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask". ~Jim Morrison
Suggested For Today
Timeline Override Sequence (TOS)
The quick process of the Timeline Override Sequence (TOS) for the Starseed or Energy Session is:
Timeline Override Sequence (TOS)
The quick process of the Timeline Override Sequence (TOS) for the Starseed or Energy Session is:
• Observe the Experience.
• Hold Neutral as the Compassionate Witness of God.
• Synthesize the Opposing Polarities by Loving them Equally
.• Internally Unify inside your Body through Applied Acceptance and Forgiveness.
• If Asked, Release the Mental Bondage Memory (Soul Retrieval, RRO )
• Cellular Embodiment of the Unified Experience takes place.
• In Gratitude, Peace and Balance is Restored.
I do feel that I have Nephilim genetics. Do all humans? I feel the Oraphim side of me... is this the "empath" part and the "fallen angel" side of me (is this the narcissist?)? I have this battle going on always. (Is this the "indigo contract"?) Can we shut down this consciousness? I think I have... distracted it... focusing on Ryan instead. Am I still working with my own consciousness on some levels? Of course. I'm in this body and having this experience... I just steer it based on the actions I take. Which timeline do I want to be conscious of? Do I want the highest timeline possible? I do. But enough to give up the tiny teddy bear? Enough to give up the tickle to the flesh? The sugar? The drama? The fear?
I am calling you out, Wages! Do you want all of me or not? You can feel me now. You feel my call and my heart. I AM HERE. YOU ARE too. WE ARE. Right?
I am calling you out, Wages! Do you want all of me or not? You can feel me now. You feel my call and my heart. I AM HERE. YOU ARE too. WE ARE. Right?
Anyway... Ryan, as it is, isn't satisfying you. You want more. And that's okay. So take what you want and leave the rest. Focus on yourself. See where it goes. Learn discipline. Take care of your body. Parent and husband yourself. We're right here with you. All of us. Yes, puppies and trees and horse too. Your pegasus may be getting tired. God, what can I do? Walk her. Give her more joy. Give yourself more joy... and movement. Feel all the vibrations that want to come through your fascia. Be with yourself. Find your deep riches within. This is what you came for.
Yes, learn how to have a relationsip, how to respect, how to practice and honor boundaries. The work I'm doing with Ryan is important too. It is, Love. And the desire to throw in the towel or look for attention and affection to meet your needs from someone else is a trap. You are looking for yourself... only what YOU can give you. Ryan CAN'T give it to you and neither can anyone else. You can try to find it in someone else... you can distract and push off the lesson by playing the game.... but it's ultimately empty. It's "love addiction". And not really love.
You are who you came for, indeed.
Yes, learn how to have a relationsip, how to respect, how to practice and honor boundaries. The work I'm doing with Ryan is important too. It is, Love. And the desire to throw in the towel or look for attention and affection to meet your needs from someone else is a trap. You are looking for yourself... only what YOU can give you. Ryan CAN'T give it to you and neither can anyone else. You can try to find it in someone else... you can distract and push off the lesson by playing the game.... but it's ultimately empty. It's "love addiction". And not really love.
You are who you came for, indeed.
So what makes me happy? What do I want?
I like to move - ecstatic dance. yoqi. stretch. breathe. walk (especially in nature). spend time with my dogs, rocks, trees, chickens and love on Sioux... help her find her peace and gentleness. These are my responsibilities. I love Ryan's cats and I will miss them and my desire is that he and his cats move over so we can spend more time together, but I need to prioritize my family. Stop giving myself and those I am stewarding away. Putting them second. People pleasing them to the back of the line.
Put us first.
Do I want this job? I want to work from home more. I want to help Ryan with his business and be home and care for our family. Is Ryan my guy? My family? Only time will tell. And I need to honor myself.
I need to work on that list. Let me get that and email it to myself. For our couples appointment on Saturday. I really like "Empowered Wife" book by Laura Doyle.
Ryan makes fun of everything I do... ridicules me and my friends and what I do, think, and even what I read.
Grateful for going to the movies on Friday with Page and Corie (to see "IF").
Grateful for Ryan's help and getting the back wood chip pile spread out for my Angel Oak and pear trees on Saturday.
Grateful for cleaning and Malai and a nice morning on Sunday and spending a couple hours with O'Malley's finishing their chicken house and getting to go to Father's Day sushi feast at Jay's 108 with O'Malley's last night. And Walmart and just hanging with Ryan.
Grateful for 2 coffee enemas this weekend. And for period starting this morning. And for talks with friends - so many wonderful friends. Le'Anna, Misha, Rosemary, Bean, and more. Michael.
Overeating ... and beginning of the end... get back to keto. I feel so much better on keto.
Berberine? I started it. My brain isn't working great already though. God, help me. Just eat meat, love. An vegetables. And if you crave sweets, have a shake! Those can be your treats!! Great idea!!
Put us first.
Do I want this job? I want to work from home more. I want to help Ryan with his business and be home and care for our family. Is Ryan my guy? My family? Only time will tell. And I need to honor myself.
I need to work on that list. Let me get that and email it to myself. For our couples appointment on Saturday. I really like "Empowered Wife" book by Laura Doyle.
Ryan makes fun of everything I do... ridicules me and my friends and what I do, think, and even what I read.
Grateful for going to the movies on Friday with Page and Corie (to see "IF").
Grateful for Ryan's help and getting the back wood chip pile spread out for my Angel Oak and pear trees on Saturday.
Grateful for cleaning and Malai and a nice morning on Sunday and spending a couple hours with O'Malley's finishing their chicken house and getting to go to Father's Day sushi feast at Jay's 108 with O'Malley's last night. And Walmart and just hanging with Ryan.
Grateful for 2 coffee enemas this weekend. And for period starting this morning. And for talks with friends - so many wonderful friends. Le'Anna, Misha, Rosemary, Bean, and more. Michael.
Overeating ... and beginning of the end... get back to keto. I feel so much better on keto.
Berberine? I started it. My brain isn't working great already though. God, help me. Just eat meat, love. An vegetables. And if you crave sweets, have a shake! Those can be your treats!! Great idea!!
Such a beautiful and resonant prayer by a recently departed ES member:https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Forgiveness_Prayer
I always think that Ryan likes "the idea of me"... and not necessarily ME. (Not ME at all. He wants to change the way I look, act, think, smell, etc.) But I ALSO like the idea of Ryan. The man I percieve he is under all the rudeness, etc. Sometimes I see glimpses, so I hold on to that. But the actual Ryan... the one who insults me every chance he gets... the one who withholds his love... the one who ridicules me and doesn't want to choose me every minute... the way I want to choose him and be with him ... the one who has a different desire for his life.... I want someone who wants to be with me. I like the chase... I like learning... but sometimes I just want to be. I want to just BE together. I want to be cozy in a home together. I want someone who wants to travel with me - to go on family vacations together. To go to the woods every weekend. Or maybe that's just for me. I'M the one I want. I want to go to the woods... so go. But I want to go with a man.. MY man... protector.
Yeah. He's probably just not the guy. He seems on some levels to like a lot of that... when we travel, he likes it, but he's conflicted. He's just not there yet with himself. He's awakening in his consciousness, but I'm going to sleep to join him and it's not good...that's the wrong direction, Rayah. Come back to ME. WE ARE. And just JOY in your life. Be with friends, do things that make you happy. Sure, hang out with Ramsey and Jannelle and Le'Anna. Let Ryan ridicule everyone. Is he happy? He's not. Yet. But you can be and you don't need to follow suit in his judgements... all is well, Love.
Most importantly, YOU have to love you! YOU have to be attracted to you! Focus on that! I love you, beloved Carissa. My sweet Cristy. I LOVE YOU!!!
Yeah. He's probably just not the guy. He seems on some levels to like a lot of that... when we travel, he likes it, but he's conflicted. He's just not there yet with himself. He's awakening in his consciousness, but I'm going to sleep to join him and it's not good...that's the wrong direction, Rayah. Come back to ME. WE ARE. And just JOY in your life. Be with friends, do things that make you happy. Sure, hang out with Ramsey and Jannelle and Le'Anna. Let Ryan ridicule everyone. Is he happy? He's not. Yet. But you can be and you don't need to follow suit in his judgements... all is well, Love.
Most importantly, YOU have to love you! YOU have to be attracted to you! Focus on that! I love you, beloved Carissa. My sweet Cristy. I LOVE YOU!!!
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