I AM gridwork

I AM GRIDWORK

This is a message I got last week that I keep getting nudged to share here. I’m trying to find the right balance and right motivations to share… and frankly I’m not sure what “right” means yet, but it’s part of my project (evolution). 

Last year after joining ESF I learned about “gridwork” and felt a kinship with it - sensing that is part of my role/mission here. However, despite some radical experiences this life, I am now recognizing my role right now in supporting the gridwork falls on ME. I am the gridwork. I am a microcosm for the macrocosm and as I work to heal my damaged architecture, I am creating pathways for others as well. 

Not to get in the weeds too much but just to note, I had an absolutely amazing and encouraging session with Charlotte last week which confirmed much of what my guidance has been showing me. I haven’t re-listened to it yet as I am integrating a lot from the session as well as the massive energetic shifts (and possibly attacks) happening in my field, but I wanted to mention that I am trying not to panic and to just be grateful for the opportunity to serve as an Indigo - I’ve had my I3 contact for what seems like my whole life, but maybe just since I was a young child. I am ready for it to be over, but it doesn’t sound like it is. My mental body is involved here trying to panic and push and pull and get out of it… what can I doooooooo to get out of this faster?!! Resistance. No bueno.

There’s a lot more to say but I think I’ll wait until I listen to my session again and figure out what “right” means for what to share. I want to share from a heart-centered place, not as part of the “Carissa show” (egoic consciousness).

Love to all!
Carissa

ps. Thank you to Tomás & Lisa for the fancy new editor!

pss. Another huge thank you to Rosemary for your beautiful friendship and support. Thank you for loving me and for your encouragement and compassionate witnessing of my journey (and sharing of yours)! 

psss. I keep in touch with my high school health teacher via email and today he said the kindest thing when I asked if he could tell I was a troubled kid. He said my dad called me a "free spirit" (which I didn't realize my dad thought of me) and he said he liked that and agreed and that he's a free spirit too (I agree). Anyway, he sent this:

A Free Spirit is not a drop in the ocean.
A Free Spirit is the entire ocean in a drop. 
-Mr. Burch

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Here's what I wrote about it on my electronic notepad as I was drifting off last night:

I am gridwork.

I don't really think about or worry about if I am a gridworker or not. First of all, I am, are we all in a way? IN my case, I am the gridwork. Repairing my architecture so that I can hold the necessary coding to support the earth is big on its own. It involves trauma and fragmentation restoration. I am a polarity integrator. Heavy indigo3 contract- possibly my whole life I've had this thing. I've been supported by my higher self walk-in, a friend (me!) to do this with for the last 11 years. But honestly it got harder...and now it's crazy. I want to finish it, but it doesn't seem aligned to my my will. Or maybe that's the big part of it because my solar plexus chakra and will center was blown to pieces by SRA as a child. My consciousness and will were separated then too (this came from Charlotte session). So I need to do the repair work to support my will to do all the cleanup necessary. But there are lots of layers at play here.

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Just now doing 2nd CE of the day I was reading more of my daily glossary pick ("Lyran Wars") and followed "Elohim" to "Oraphim". I believe I am a Emerald Order Blue Ray Oraphim. I think my debilitating fear and lack of courage is part of the prison which I need to overcome - this is my contract. I've always thought that if I were in a war or if a "bad guy" came after me, that I would just roll over and let them kill me. But the truth is that I have been a mighty and brave warrior in many wars and I must step into the truth of who I AM once again!