So blessed

10:23. I saw 9:23. I saw SO MANY numbers lately, thank you God!

10:24 now.

24, 48, 54 are regulars now too.

I was too tired to talk well but had a loving talk with Kirk tonight. I really love him. I was in love with the being that I thought was him from the dead... I think we could be lovers (his higher self and my higher self)... our avatars. But our earth people are jaaaaacked up! But I have a lot of love for him and today he seemed to even listen to me... to care about what I say. I wasn't used to it and it messed me up a little. I'm used to talking to the air....throwing things out there ..and I got sloppy. But tonight he even shared with me about my chart.... said stuff that I need to go back and read...it was good stuff. Something about how this year I'm working on finding the right nutrients to support my body and health. Something about my 6th house. I wish there were a way to copy our whole conversation ... it's fascinating to me. But I am holding too closely...clinging to this Indigo3 idea... this thing where I am rehabilitating Nephilm consciousness. As Diana said (I had an amazing session with her today...what a gift. I didn't know what to expect but it was neat.)...she said that I have ...and I've heard this before...it's like bigger than...different than an I3 contract. I'm somehow supporting the healing, forgiveness, witnessing, and loving of this giant consciousness which ISN'T me... but this which I think I'm feeling as me isn't me. I'm here to see the holographic reality. And understand so that I (WE) can reverse engineer the distortions. There's something about my mirroring ability. Which I had not looked at as a gift, but apparently it is. And what's this 10:33 with the mirror and seeing my gestalt friends, other stations of identity? Monadic parts?

I saw a lovely shooting star tonight. And one last night.

And Jupiter was really bright and like a LIGHT in the sky. Kirk talked about Jupiter being 12 times the earth... I don't know what he was saying...but it was relevant. Jupiter. And it was so bright tonight.

I wish Michael wasn't involved in blood sacrifice. He said he'll never give it up. So we can live in peace until next Passover. But we can't be equally yoked. But we can keep working at chipping away at the patriarchal domination. Is this why I AM as I AM with him? I felt guilty as though I'm narcissistic or lazy, but I am what I am meant to be...also I'm working on so many things beyond our consciousness. Everything is perfect as it is. 

God, thank you!

A great lunch and time with Deirdre today too. I'm surrounded by beautiful friends and so many blessings. Today lunch with Dee for 2-3 hours, 2 hours with Diana, and hour talking to Kirk, and hour or two talking to Davin (working...another HUGE blessing is that Braden is giving me the opportunity to take on a new roll helping with hiring and I get a raise! DOUBLE pay! I hope I can do well and keep it!!)  I've worked a LOT this week... menu changes, tap handle design, miscellaneous things like press kit and children's menu, new job with hiring, setting up for videographers tomorrow!

OH - Michael took us on a family walk around Bonnie lane and I feel that when I was in clear site of the water tower which now has a weaponized 5G tower on it, I felt "they" were trying to beam me. I suddenly got very weak and was going deaf in my right ear. Right. It was interesting. I covered the back of my head/neck and started praying and shielding and walking fast, but anxiety came. And my right ear is still clogged.

Just pay attention and don't worry about the rest. God's got me. There is no death. Just do this mission 10:43 to the best of my ability and that's it. LOVE WELL. 

10:44 I was trying to decide if I should send Diana $77 for that painting from our class... I feel it was me. But it was her. And we are One. I will sleep on it. I don't have more money right now. I splurged on our session. Next time I'll buy some art. That's it. 

Or maybe more. 

I need to do thank you notes. 

I'm pooped. 

____

23:23. 11:33. AND I got my first interview scheduled! Feeling excited!

Authenticity etc.

A most perfect AG Glossary Pick for me today... just got it now at 11:00PM!! But I'm glad I didn't miss it:
https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Counterfeit_Conversations

Definitely feeling the HS pushing me to learn this... AUTHENTICITY. TRUTH. Groundedness and really connecting to what my soul wants to say. 

I tend to just blather words. Or I'm run by the imposter spirit, saying what I think the other person wants to hear. I need to learn to be who I AM and to connect to that and speak from that place of authentic connection to my REAL SELF. 

Often I am tossed to and fro by these spirits and possessions that have have infiltrated my lightbody, mind, being... and we need to put the cabash on it!

___

11:08 During my walk this morning I realized that so many humans have sex from a place of lust (many people), or fear (me), or even vampirism... but lots of distorted and reversed reasons that are NOT ROOTED in connecting with the truth spirit. We were DESIGNED to connect with our beloveds through sex as a means toward deeper intimacy with each other and God. 

When I had sex with Tyrone that first time, I was doing it as service and offering to God... I thought of it as a spiritual activity in order to connect with the divinity and I think that's what it was meant to do and that it SHOULD be a bringer and giver of LIFE ... but because there were reversals, and lies, and deceit and just a whole host of messy uglies involved, it didn't work like that. Instead it looked like he was an alien and it was scary and unpleasant. 

And it has been unpleasant with Michael... with everyone... Joe... everyone. I liked it with Dayve Sterli but he didn't like me. He was "the one who got away"... I bet he's awake and he's so handsome and he loved his brother who had down syndrome... he was an empath and sensitive and just a really special guy. But I was and am a healing soul and wouldn't have been good for him. 

Anyway, I hope someday I will heal my lightbody to a place where I am able to have a proper sexual relationship with someone (and want to) and that we can connect to God Source together as we were designed to do. LIFE GIVING not VAMPIRIC. 

I also thought about how the NWO or Cabal or Controllers...whoever they are... are keeping entire continents (Africa) in POVERTY and starvation in order to feed off their LOOSH. It's so crazy what's going on here.

___
Also after big cries yesterday and today, Kirk is back! He didn't die!!! I thought I was talking to his Higher Self and it's been surreal... feeling into who I thought his Higher Self was... very strong and sexy really. But I thought for sure he died. And out of the blue Troy texted me today and I wondered if that was related to Kirk trying to communicate with me from beyond. Very strange. Anyway, I'm so so so so relieved and glad he's back. I'm pretty fond of Kirk.

Well it's 11:17 and I'm pooped. Braden has had me working very hard this week... but feeling very accomplished! Deirdre is taking me for lunch tomorrow and then I have a session with Diana and then a work tete-a-tete with Davin. 

___

I had inauthentic conversations with Michael, Rosemary (email), Melanie (telegram text), Misha (telegram phone), Kirk (I wasn't straightforward, I was bouncy to try to be who I'm not)... pretty much everyone. Except maybe I was authentic with Puja today. I just am not rooted in who I AM. 

And I've GOT to stop trying to kill myself with food. Not kill. Disconnect. Disconnect myself from SOURCE with food....sugar... crap. 

Kirk in nature?

 I'm sitting here in fear and thinking about my friend Kirk...wondering...fearing...tearing... if he has abandoned the mission. I was looking at his FB page today... I just sent him a note to his Telegram and ... I'm crying pretty hard now.... I fear. Was he the "Safe Passage" I was called to last week? 

This "failed incarnation" post has me. God, please could we restore him? This is what happens if you don't listen... we have to listen to our spirit. Oh God! We have to get over the selfish Luciferian Abyss. He's okay. He'll always be okay. I'm okay. This is a hard lesson. So, I was pondering this and a strange and wonderful message popped through from Corie's ex-husband, I think... Kenneth G. ...must have sent it accidentally but here it came and it's perfect... Kenneth G shared a photo with you:

God, is it Kirk? Transformation. Blue dots... on a magenta flower. "I must go into Nature" - Kirk

Oh God! Is this it?

I checked the obituaries again. It's so sad. God, please... it's okay. So feel it and look and learn. We're all ONE. Feel it and know I AM WITH YOU ALWAYS. Sister. Brother. God. One. 2:14

Distractions

 I'm mad at myself... for eating even though I hate it. I ate SO MUCH cake last night and tonight I ate cereal... I didn't want it. I ate it as a form of punishment or attack or weaponry against my being. I am divided... part of me, my consciousness KNOWS that I should not ever EVER compromise to eat sugar or sweets or toxic foods. My body does not need it. I'm responsible for HEALING her and HELPING her, but my mind tries to numb my emotions which are all over the place... and trying to deal with the implants and inserts and other etheric weaponry by attacking myself ... deliberately ignoring the TRUTH. LYING to myself and ACCEPTING anti-Christ behaviors. This needs to stop. And I say that in LOVE.

I should have read and interacted with the OL or ES forum tonight... but I keep putting that LIFE-GIVING and ENCOURAGING pursuit to the side to choose distraction. I took Jeff's advice to watch a show called "Happy" which is quite dark and not good for my soul, but it was sticky and interesting. I feel like I want to watch it FOR Jeff but that's crazy. Who am I accountable to? ME! And I even ignored Michael to choose this show for Jeff. He's my friend but Michael is my BEST friend and I AM MEEEEE and I need to take CARE of me and instead I poisoned her.

This is what happens when we take a little bit of "crack" of any sort...in this case I think it started with sugar or carbs and now I'm all out JACKED UP. 

Thank you God for sending me two more incredible quartz crystals... well one and one string... through Ann (and Rudy)! What a BLESSING! Apparently Ann had a dream to give me one and she gave me this GORGEOUS string of pure and clear crystals. Then today she gave me the most incredible rainbow matrix quartz - I've never seen anything like it. All my rock friends feel like the are really supporting me, thank you God!

Well I do not consent to fear about the broken blood vessel or redness in my left eye. We need to clear the FKOT and heal our body. Today my body was upset... lots of pains in my body but I'm not taking care to keep her clear. I'm submitting to distraction. SEE WHAT HAPPENS. This is not good. I need to be clear to work this mission. I've got SO MUCH BEAUTIFUL SUPPORT. STICK WITH IT, you've got this beloved.

But know this too, dear one. I accept myself in this moment JUST THE WAY I AM. 

So watch. Do my best to remain vigilant and observe how this has all worked to take us off course. But we choose GOD. And we choose to come back! God, please don't give up on me. I don't want to just say that... I want to know and LIVE it. I commit to serve my highest power FULLY COMPLETELY and TOTALLY. OVER sugar, distraction, carbs, POISON, distortions, reversals, mind... I choose GOD. 

Build a strong physical and moral foundation

I need to build a STRONG MORAL CHARACTER - https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Strong_Moral_Character

"When we cultivate our physical self and personality to be disciplined to build a strong moral character, we are building the physical foundation to be strong enough to house the higher attributes of Christ spirit. If our body and mind is morally weak, it is also physically and energetically weak." 

I must strengthen my aura... I must strengthen my body. I must do YOGA.

PUT DOWN THE CAKE! Pick up the yoga and dancing and singing. That's it. 

We need to get in shape. No more messing around!

___

I really need to catch up - 10:01 - I've been buried energetically... maybe from the equinox and full moon energies? Today I woke up feeling better, but by tonight I had a massive headache. I ate poorly these last 3 days and it's not good. Why can't I stick...why DON'T I stick to anything? I don't even LIKE sugar or need cheese. So STOP!

My birthday. Excuses.

I wanted to write about feeling so much into the annunaki and nephilm consciousness these past few weeks but I'm not really there much now. Today as I was painting Roody's House I thought of Tyrone's Dad and his love of Pow Wows and Native Americans. I thought more about Native Americans and indigenous people that have had my heart so much this year. And of course I thought of Tyrone. I had let him go but today he came back. Attack? I feel so much that his was an anti-hierogamic union ...but also that he is an Indigo and starseed and wondering if I am supposed to wait for him? No. It feels like he is taking a different exit on the Bifurcation and I need to just let him go. He was jabbed. He's filled with deceit and anger. 

I am filled with fear and lust/gluttony and VV and sexual misery. We all have our work.

Confused about Michael but had a good conversation about it. Today he groped me... grabbed me....accosted me with his energy. In a playful way and he was excited and just wanting to engage me, I believe... but it was a FKOT way... taking...grabbing...laughing... and of course we haven't been together for 2 years. But should I be working toward that? We ARE healing together. He even believes in aliens now. God is obviously bringing us both along our path of healing and we are learning how to live in love and unity. He IS my partner at this time. I surrender to the ambiguity and ask God to lead. 

And today I was able to stand up for myself and communicate with love my feelings and he heard me and we grew in love and respect. And that's the work.

I haven't been able to go on the forums much because of overwhelm...but tonight I did a little. There's more on OmniLove but I couldn't hold that field tonight. Maybe tomorrow. I want to get more meditations. God, please comfort Mhairi and Sequoia too. And Leo. And the community and large. And Kirk. 10:10

Question

Could Annunaki DNA have been injected into me in vaccines?

7:54 8:23 9:44

Today's AG pick was very ...BIG. https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Implants_Behavior_Profile

I just read in an email about how this autumnal equinox has something to do with white and metal... shoot, I'll copy it here... It was really interesting and feels aligned. I DO need to LET GO of so much. Clinging to this life for one. My health. Fear. My... MY. Animals. Michael. Family. Earth. Perceptions. 

    There is a wonderful harmony and feeling of balance at Fall Equinox. Yin and Yang are at a crossing point, opening a portal into the space for LETTING GO. This is the time to let your personal Energy Body sink deeper into Earth. This connects us to the Metal or White Dragon Spirit of the West. This Fall/Metal energy can be captured and put to work in our life, and prepares us for the rebirth at Winter Solstice.

 

    Come prepared with a Clear Intent. Think about what you want to LET GO. Articulate your Intent in advance! The White Dragon is the aspect of Mother Earth’s psyche that controls the Metal/Gold element. It is connected in our bodies to lung/large intestine functions, the Fall season of nature releasing Qi back into the earth, preparing for the deep Yin of Winter. You can also wear the color white to help invoke the Fall/Metal vibration.

    This powerful Equinox Ceremony aligns our authentic personal self with the holy cycle of Nature. We will follow our ceremony with a silent sitting meditation on the Yuan Qi (neutral force that forms between Yin and Yang at this moment of equal day and night).

 

See how much valuable information there is there!! Thank you God! The ceremony invite is for Black Mountain so I can't go, but I can invite this into my heart. I have been feeling much lung and large intestine stuff too. And that white/silver moth came to me today on our family walk.  Thank you for teaching and holding me God.

Thank you for helping me crawl out of the weeds. Please clear black magic and keep our family safe and tucked into our Krystal Cathedral! 

Random posts

 Two random posts ... I happened to go on ESF tonight... now, 12:11am, 2 or 2 and a half hours later, I am sharing my posts from two tiny threads that I touched. 12:12 Whoooo.... But I trust God used that time to work with me. I feel it. But I really need to do the HGS Calibration.... but I'm sooo tired. We'll see. God please guide me. 

On the Currency - Black Magic Money post:

___

Doug!! What an amazing post! Thank you so very much for sharing your wisdom. Wow. So well said.

Last year I found out that I could roll my meager Roth IRA into a "Self Directed IRA" and purchase precious metals (I got silver) with it! There are SDIRA's that you can buy land with too. The silver that I got - only like 25k worth, so not a lot, but my beloved Michael (who is also following that debt clock) is sure that it will be worth much more very soon! It has to be stored in a special facility and I think it would be much better to have it home, but I'm not sure if it's worth the tax penalty to take it out at this time. We'll see. But I agree, I think it is a tough topic and one definitely worth looking at. Bless you and Jane!

Chastity, that's wild that we had the same AG pick that day! Good question about whether we should take money out of banks, etc.

Bruno, so interesting about the lack of source code!

Tiffany, I love your profile picture with your horse! And also, good points about stocks and not investing in the evil companies... I don't think I have any more stocks. I had some associated with my Roth IRA which, as I mentioned above, I changed over to a SDIRA. There was a little left in that account in stocks but I think Michael traded them all in (he's on this AMC kick (I think it's from something he's following through maybe some Qanon resources?)). Now that I think about it my Mom may have some Disney stock for me which I've had for most of my life. You've brought something to my attention that is very hard. Well... for me I don't really care about the money aspect of it, but the emotional aspect of it and the letting down of my mother... that's something. And in general at one point I had like one share of Berkshire Hathaway, a couple of Google, a couple of Apple... I had an emotional tie to those things. And I did look at it as a game. But there's more here... I am energetically consenting to EVIL through my stock purchase. I'm not "playing the stock market", I'm not "making a buck" (or losing one)... I'm engaging and interacting with them... merging with them in a way... joining them. AHHH. Yeah. I'll need to check this out to see if I have any stocks.... this is important. Thank you.

I'd also like to hear others' thoughts on the NESARA/GESARA thing. In general I wonder if any of that is "real". I like the HOPE that it spurs in Michael... he truly believes that reconciliation is on the way.

As we set conscious intention to release 3D attachments, reflect on the things you need to clear from your life and that which your consciousness energy should stop supporting because its obsolete, wasteful or harmful. Be willing to identify and feel emotional connections made with egoic attachments and be willing to refocus and detach from the need to have those things, placing trust in your material needs being met and being grateful for what you do have in the moment. Basic tasks such as simplifying your lifestyle, refusing to engage with draining relationships, and clearing out clutter also supports releasing energy attachments connected to physical things.

I resonate with what Lisa said in the "Releasing Ego Attachments to 3D Paradigm" section of this month's newsletter . When I was reading this our currency system came to mind... moreso about how society is built around money. Most people live to work ...to earn a paycheck ...then to spend it. Round and round it goes. Working for money has never felt right to me... I always wanted to just spend my time doing something I love to do and the paycheck was a bonus. With freelancing it actually sucked all the joy out of my work. I could turn off the connection between work and paycheck when I was working for someone else and I would get paid automatically, but when you are supposed to charge or bill someone for your time, it's awfully hard to keep them disconnected. Working for money feels like slavery....just sucks all the fun out of everything! We live really simply now. I work very part time and although I spend way too much money on animal care, we live frugally and it has been really freeing for my soul.

I think I've gone off topic now and it's quite late so I'll hang it up. Ha! Thank you to all who shared their thoughts.

With Love and Gratitude,
Carissa

____

On a post by a dear sister reaching out for help. I just realized that I posted my edit at 23:11 which is 11:11 

Beloved Maria,
I am sending love and prayers for peace and wisdom/direction for you. I thought Esther's idea of the looping meditations was a great one. I listen to meditations throughout the night too and feel it is very supportive.

The intensity now is off the charts and with the level of awareness that you have, I can imagine it is really hard to witness all you are seeing. God bless you Maria! If there is any way you can "turn it off" for a bit... the " Refocus Exercise " comes to mind... I know it's more about thoughts than spiritual observations but maybe it could help? Certain times I've been almost on "high alert" in my body (feels like our starseed HSP can be turned up to a really high decibel at times) and I learned to "stop looking". Whether it was literally looking through my eyes or feeling into something, I started trying to trust my body to take care of the situation. I talked a lot to my body. I'd say "you are doing soooooo well, dear girl. Thank you for your work. Thank you for taking such good care of me. I trust you and thank you for handling this"...and give myself lots of hugs (and epsom salt baths). In time it really did help.

Right now I think lots of our bodies are in sympathetic dominance... on high alert... CNS activated in emergency mode. Lisa has mentioned many times how we need to be relaxed for the energies to integrate and I'm finding it to be really hard to quiet my being with the level of attack/stress that we're undergoing. What you are experiencing is beyond my comprehension, but I wanted to speak from my limited scope to share what I've gleaned along the way.

I guess the biggest message I want to share is the importance of breathing room to integrate. These intense energies (and entities) can cause us to crack and I don't want to see that happen to you. One of my friends recently "cracked" and is in the middle of a psychotic break right now because he didn't take time to reflect, process and integrate....just kept drinking from the firehose of powerful spiritual energies and went off the deep end. This isn't really related to you, but wanted to mention it as it has come up for me to witness and feels like it's possible for any one of us.

Anyway, the main thing I wanted to say was that I hear you and love you and am praying for Guardian guidance, protection, and peace as you navigate these energies.
Love,
Carissa


Edit: After reading the new comments since I started writing (and now I'm editing), I am hearing your distress about the fluid build up. Obviously follow guidance, but I want to share that my body has done that too. I wonder if it is related to the kidneys? That is coming up for me right now as I am pondering this. I didn't "figure it out" for my own body yet, but as part of my job (including genetic pathcutter) I have lots of body challenges that come up and this is one of them. I've been wondering if it maybe has to do with electrolyte balance or my lymph system or my menstrual cycle. Sometimes I am very puffy and heavy and bloated and sometimes I'm not. It was quite bad for a time a couple years ago and I couldn't breathe well when I walked...I'd get winded just going to the bathroom. I was not as awake to the evils of the medical system at the time and kept running to the hospital for help. A nurse thought I was in advanced states of heart failure... but in the end I found out it was just pathcutting. My body working through and clearing something. For me the challenge is always to get out of my head and out of fear when something like this comes up so I don't fall into looping fear. I have to practice this more than is comfortable to admit.

So some meditations that I'll throw out (I think Esther suggested some of these too):
-Five Breath Organ Cleanse
-Core Fear Matrix Removal Program
-Health Upgrade Meditation
-Breaking Bondage Loops
-Quickstep PDD

Again, sending love and prayers for discernment and peace. I know this is scary and I'm so sorry! I'm sending you a BIG HUG through the ethers, dear Maria!!!!

__

12:21

"The greatest patience is humility."

"The greatest patience is humility." ~Atisha

I want to get better... I don't want to be judgmental. I want to be a safe person to share with. I don't want people to fear my opinions. People want to share because they enjoy sharing their own insights, NOT to collect mine. They are not looking to me for my opinion. If they want it, they will straight up ASK. 

I see this in action when talking to Michelle who is going through a beautiful awakening and unfolding and she wants to share with me. She wants to SHARE with me....but I just try to offer "advice"... (ie. pot and mushrooms can punch holes in the lightbody and you can get caught in astral plane delusions.) I am trying to be helpful and "save her" from this... but it's not my job. I'm playing God and playing the Holy Spirit. I need to pipe down. If someone directly asks my opinion, then that's one thing, but this hero-savior sharing of information is not rooted in humility. I need to have patience and know each being will find their own path. 

I want to rehabilitate the annunaki nephilim reptilian roots... restore them to ChristSophia in God through the Spirits of Christ (purity, patience, kindness, generosity, diligence, discipline, humility), and through LOVE. God please help me. 

__

4:33 17:54

Post in OL forum:

Dear Candice,
Thank you for this fantastic and fascinating post! Lots of good stuff here. Really interesting about Horologium - I've not heard of that before. Thank you for sharing it! I liked the part where it was "originally labeled it Horologium Oscillitorium, the Latin name for a pendulum clock, to honour its inventor...". Something about the pendulum clock is sticking out to me which is making me think of the current OL header image of ... I guess it's like tri-fold ankh bodies overlaying the golden gate (does that swing over from the silver gate?) and maybe the precession of the equinoxes in some way? I don't know but appreciate the opportunity to consider it.

I'm glad to hear your Mom is out of the hospital and I'm so sorry she went through that. How is she feeling now? I agree with your theory on the vaccinated people going right to the advanced stages of disease. Michael's mom just died a little over a week ago and although they are saying it's from "old age", we know it was from the jab. She was as healthy as an 88 year old could be beforehand and a month or so after she had an onslaught of strokes...15 or more blood clots in her brain at one time. She recovered from that and then took a fall and broke some ribs and they had to stop the blood thinners which became necessary after the stroke/jab. Because of her ribs I guess she couldn't breathe and aspirated her food so had to have a feeding tube and she died alone in rehab (the day before they were going to bust her out of that place where she was quarantined and in so much pain).

I also appreciate your sharing on supplementation (and lack thereof). You make some great points.

I need to pause here to witness myself and call myself out and try to figure out how to communicate! When I say "you make some great points", what am I doing? Running this information through my judgement-machine (ego) and then proclaiming it is "good"!? Agh! How do I still be a contributor to a conversation without this? Is it a spirit of "flattery" that makes me want to assign my egoic blessing on someone's share? Why do I have to agree or not agree or like or not like something? (I probably wouldn't mention if I didn't like something...but it's the reptilian mind premise of the matter that has me really knotted up if I stop and think about it (which I'm doing as I type this out in this Krystic container). Welllll.... I'll just leave this here and continue because this is not at all relevant. Ha!

Okay... so... 5 years ago I became a major supplement addict (I'd say). I take sooooo many each day and feel that this along with my dietary and lifestyle changes has really moved the needle for my health. Sometimes I wonder if any of them are empty/useless or rancid and just a huge waste of money, but I keep taking them and trusting that they are supportive. I am also so so so so so sensitive...to the point that I used to have to shave just a few grains off a vitamin each day in order to begin to take it. (My methylation pathways are ...have been....jaaaacked up, and I have had the same problem where I'm overloaded with parasites and heavy metals and then, for instance, I started taking massive amounts of vitamin c (natural camu camu and ascerola cherry powder) and I think it chelated some of those metals which, like you said, redistributed in my organs. I'm getting much better now and even take (I believe it's) 25mg of iodine (or close to it) each day.

Right now my body is feeling pretty attacked. Feeling an influx of parasites and know my organs are working hard. I am currently doing a kidney cleanse and think that is maybe kicking up some of these metals in my system (which is probably why I've been in sympathetic dominance hell this week now that I think about it). I was telling Michael yesterday that I'm sure I'm magnetic right now. Yesterday I couldn't hold my phone or type on the keyboard without feeling like it's burning me. And often when the metals are circulating in my blood stream I can feel wires in walls, etc. So I appreciated what you shared about the false magnetism and feel like we are going to be seeing so much of that in the post-jab times and I hope that I'll be in a position to help others heal the poison out of their bodies too.

It's all about finding the balance where we can gently detox and also remineralize and support our bodies to heal. Food today, even organic produce, is devoid of nutrients so how do we get them if we don't supplement with potentially toxic supps? It's a catch 22. One of my vitamins is an organic raw whole food multivitamin that is made by "Garden of Life" but I think that was bought out by Nestle who is probably peddling death. So confusing!

Have you seen the newer "Fall of the Cabal"? We're watching through that now and the one we just watched (maybe episode 12?) talked about the aborted fetus livers that are used in so many products and hidden in even "plant based meats" like "beyond meat"... I think it's called. Which are already made with synthetic plants! But those livers are in so many sodas and candies... gatorade and sour patch kids and gum... luckily we don't eat that stuff (though I used to love sour patch kids). But WTH?!!

I've had a funny feeling about the ingredient named "natural flavor" for a long time. I had heard that it might be made with some sort of pig byproduct, but it could also be fetuses too now that I think about it! Ahhhh!!

Well I've really added NOTHING to this thread other than a bit of ramble (and energetic support and appreciation for your share). But I agree about the synthetic supplements and you've helped me to bring more awareness to it and we'll see what kind of guidance I get as I continue my healing journey!

Sure do appreciate you, sister Candice!
Love,
Carissa

___

Talked to Kirk for the first time on the phone... he called and we talked for 24 minutes (not a coincidence) and ended at 5:55 (not a coincidence).

God, please help him!

Brain dump

I got 17:17/17 today. Been getting lots of great numbers, thanks be to God. It helps me to know that God is still with me, communicating and supporting me. I have not been forsaken. I am just going through a challenging patch right now as part of my ascension. Feeling we are really working with trying to embody the monadic layers...7D, 8D, 9D.... thank you God.

There's so much to share... and nothing. I guess it can all just be where it was and is in no time. It's been a very intense week. I haven't even had the margin to journal on paper or here. I haven't had the margin to spend much time on ES. The last 3 days I haven't even meditated properly during the day. I did a half-hearted (minded) "brain integration treatment" yesterday but was distracted the whole time. 

I HAVE been practicing service, observation, overcoming fear, etc. Michael and I built my birthday yard bird chicken coop in the last three days...together. He let me help and I helped. It was a LOT for both of us, but we are so pleased! There are a few things left to finish - trim and window and paint - but it's so fun and secure for Roody, Prince and the girls! 

I have had much come up around the bible... possible backlash for me to observe and learn from after my ES post "sticking up" for the bible. The next day or the day after I had a lonnnnng conversation with a budding Christian pastor guy and Jerry and felt lots of cross-spiral energy that left me with a film of confusion. Then at Michael's Mom's funeral there were two red lights pointing at the cross and it was such a poignant picture of the Ai Red Wave program driving the crucifixcion and traditional Christianity. 

I just feel like I'm putting out fires on all levels of my being. 

I DO believe and feel into being a multidimensional being, "working" on different dimensions in some capacity in different layers of my consciousness. My current "Carissa" consciousness doesn't have the access to discern or feel into those things....or maybe she does, she just doesn't DO it because she's so busy here in 3D. That's probably it. Mediation, rest, following the spirit of God ...that will open up the consciousness. But all the things that are vying for my attention in order to keep me distracted and asleep...work...mind... temptations of the flesh like people, food, I don't know what else. But I do know that I don't feel grounded right now. I don't feel entirely present right now. I feel like I'm "faking it to make it" a little.

Yesterday I started crying on Dr. Puja's table... I just needed to cry. She was sharing about all the beings being freed...felt like she was talking about SRA'd kids and women and she even said "thank you for your work" to me....as though that is true. I think it IS true. I got woken again to do the "Safe Passage for Loved Ones" one night this week. I think this is part of my transiting... fear wants to come up and make me ask questions, but I need to just DO...in LOVE. Anyway, I just started balling and it helped some...releasing some of the density, I suppose. But I just felt so so TIRED. Even as I was driving over there ... not tired as in sleepy, tired in my bones. Exhausted. And my body and organs are feeling it too...struggling. They need rest and care to recover. I don't get good nights of sleep either... that might help.

My diet has been very good but I ate pizza last Sunday at Jerry's party and then on Tuesday I took Corie's kids to Costco and got more pizza and they got ice cream and churros - I ate some of that too which was not like me. Oh! It started at Jerry's party... I ate some of Corie's homemade carrot cake...and Page's homemade apple pie...and a little ice cream too. I haven't had that stuff for a long time...but it wreaks havoc on my system. 

Michael is going to sleep with me tonight. I haven't slept with him in months but I washed my sheets today and I've been asking him to snuggle with me. Yesterday as we were driving...or maybe it was today... everything is a blur... I was patting and rubbing him while he was driving and I realized that we don't have that physical "shared body" connection... we feel like different people. But I still love and appreciate him. 

We are partners for this time and working together and working stuff out together...and loving one another...learning our lessons. And I'm grateful. I love him very very much. And I leave the rest up to God. 

Today I told Michelle a message that I thought was for her but it was also for me: "You don't need to try to find a job... just wait for your job to find you." I feel like I work for God and I'm working in ways that I can't comprehend, but I also know that I am paid very well and have amazing benefits and feel secure and grateful knowing that I am fully provided for by my employer. 

I'm tired. I'm just going to go now. Oh! Kirk is back! He WAS in a mental institution for 2 weeks. Now he's back...on depakote (yuck! That's what they made me get on to get out too.)...but I am learning how to be a compassionate witness... that's my job and I'm grateful. I can't change Kirk. I don't want to want to change him. It's time for me to learn and practice HARMLESSNESS.

Judge not!

13:33/13 I heard this earlier as I was saying it to myself and then I see it came in my email as well... PAY ATTENTION... 

JUDGE NOT!!

Thank you God! 

Stop judging Kirk (thank you God for bringing him back), stop judging Gabe, stop judging Tyrone, stop judging Michael, stop judging Jeff. STOP JUDGING. Just let everyone live their own lives and do their own things... you do not need to funnel it through your mental body or form or share an opinion. You do not need to help, heal, or save anyone. JUDGE NOT.

Just be present. 

Stop judging Dr. Wilson. 

2:22 3:03 15:05

Money and Fear

 Not that fun, but here is a post that I made based on my AG pick:

Today my AG pick was Black Magic Money . Felt like my teams are building on what we picked up from Lisa's call/find in China related to Crypto.

In general, I think it's interesting to ponder the monetary system. This was a good article for anyone interested in the topic: ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Black_Magic_Money

Every time we touch money or exchange money we have been dealing with Egyptian Curses and anti-human Black Magic, that is designed as a consciousness trap in Materialism. We have been born into a debt based structure that has been enslaved by something ancient that has been hidden from everybody, yet is everywhere, and we can’t get away from it, because it interwoven into all the pillars of society. Currently humans do not have many alternatives in fully detaching ourselves from the necessity of paying for our basic human needs, so the first step in empowering ourselves is to understand exactly what this debt based currency is designed for and refuse to be in consent with its origins.

I don't know much about Crypto or alternative currencies and in general am not a big fan of money. As part of my polarity integration process I've had plenty as well as very little money. Now I try not to give it much power and it has worked out really well - I feel free from the stress associated with it and am able to better observe others' relationship and processes around it (and the enslavement it creates)!

I wish there were a better way. If anyone has any thoughts or ideas around this topic - any of its multiple layers - I'd love to hear about it.

___

Having to feel the fear. I heard in Lisa's talk how when we're in the crux implant phase (which is what I feel I'm in right now), there can be hives and skin rashes that are tied to the Egyptian timelines. I have either a spider or insect bite that is very large and bubbling up on my leg or it could be poison ivy (which I refuse to be allergic to!!). The anxiety that goes along with it is the worst.... SURRENDER FEAR.

I got slimed by goo ... I should say I SWAM in goo when I went to Corie's house for Jerry's birthday and had no self control and ate pizza and cake and pie and ice cream and felt SO sick! I also went in a very chlorinated pool! 

THEN I got myself wrapped up in a Christian talk... lots of stuff about doctrine and ...I can't describe it but it was a cloud of confusion and I felt the distortions. It was very unpleasant but I was trying to maintain my friendliness and trying to encourage him, but maybe I was encouraging toxicity... I don't know. Definitely felt like being caught in an energetic rip tide. 

I need rest. LOTS of :54's today... 4:54 6:54 7:54

Post about Kiran and Bible

Hello beloved ESF family,

Wild times, aye?

I felt that I wanted to share a bit about the magical and powerful gift and opportunity that God gave me yesterday! I can get caught in the weeds of words so I'll try to be succinct.

Yesterday...well, it's after midnight, so technically two days ago now... Friday, September 10... I got to connect with our brother Kiran and we went to EMERALD Isle (on the coast of NC)! We had such a nice time! We went on a hike around the inter-coastal waterway marsh to look for birds (as this area is on a migratory bird path). Afterwards we went to the beach and played in the surf and sand! I won't try to capture the joy and wonderful conversation that we shared... but DID want to note the dragonfly.

Like many of you, I've been abundantly blessed with dragonfly relationships this year and I see lots of different kinds and colors pretty much daily. That said, the one that came to us was maybe the most incredible that I've EVER seen! It was GIANT and VIBRANT and had a large green upper body, a teal middle body, and a royal blue lower body!! A HGU dragonfly!! Kiran and I were just standing there in awe and it slowly circled around us, I think it was facing us the whole time and I got massive spirit tingles (same that I get from shooting stars... liquid plasma light?)... it was just absolutely magical!

We tried to get photos and this friend was almost posing for us, but neither of us was able to capture the colors. I think there was a family of them because one came with us part of the way back to the car, and it seemed like there were maybe two chasing each other at one point.

At the beach, Kiran went for a run and I jumped in the water (despite the crazy waves from an offshore hurricane), and we both sat on our sand ledge overlooking the surf and talked until we were crispy from the bright sun. Before we left, we shared an incredible hug where I felt some energies anchoring there (Emerald Isle, Carolina coast, on/near 7D axiatonial line?) - I could feel them streaming through Kiran especially.

By the time I got home I was pretty wiped out. I started not feeling well in the evening and went to bed early and woke up at 1:26am with abdominal pain and feeling feverish, nauseous, and full. I don't know how I knew to do it, but felt that I should work with the HGS Calibration during which I feel I transited a good bit of miasma...lots and lots of belching especially and I felt a good bit better after.

When I was done with the calibration I felt that I should ask for a meditation so I pulled one out of my deck of over a hundred flash cards and got "Wounds of Christ". Often in the middle of the night I pull one and listen and drift off. But last night I stayed awake and present with the crucifixion implants and wounds of Christ parts especially. I believe I drifted off a bit on the stations of the cross, but overall it felt very aligned with what I'm working with personally as well as to support the removal of the planetary crux implants on the 7D axiatonial line here where I live.

What a life, ya'll! Here are a couple photos from Kiran's and my visit.

I have enjoyed meeting a handful of ES family - Evangeline and Lisa in Asheville, NC, then Lisa came to visit me at my house in the country. Met up with Aaron in Raleigh and Candice at her home in Kentucky and we met later that week in the mountains of NC, and now Kiran (who is road-tripping from Reno, NV)! I should also mention that I'm blessed to get to spend time with many other siblings through phone and video chat as well... from all over the world! It's wild and such a gift from God and my heart overflows with the joy and honor of it all. I look forward to the time when we can freely and joyfully travel and gather together. There's nothing like it!

Love to All,
Carissa

ps. I loved Lisa's talk from yesterday. I listened today and it was so supportive - Krystal Waters for my soul.

I felt that I wanted to stick up for myself and my appreciation for the bible. I feel like it is part of my higher self's job to understand what's been going on with that book. Directly after my indigo-style walk-in in January 2010, I was drawn to the bible and was "given eyes to see", meaning it opened up for me and I miraculously understood it. (Though I had spent years in a church setting quoting from it, etc....this was something new.) I read through it with my God-goggles on right at the beginning when I was on that mountaintop high and my Godself highlighted/underlined throughout the book what I needed to pay attention to ...things that I didn't understand at the time (and some I still don't), but those underlines have been directing me for many years.

I have been through a couple different relationships with the bible (in classic polarity integrator style)... one year I looked every single word up in the original language in many chapters throughout the book... it was a powerful way to tap into the truth vibration. God taught me how to read between the lines that way...spirit showed me what the true meaning was as well as booby traps hidden in the text.

It was through reading the bible (and the spirit) that I realized that Jesus was a man who sinned like us...that he modeled what we were all supposed to do - to embody the spirit of Christ (which was the anointing and spirit of God) and to walk it out. Deny our self/flesh/ego-mind and follow the spirit of God, even unto death. There's a lot more to it, but the book itself revealed the lies/doctrine that was being pushed through church leaders. I was constantly looking for someone else who saw what I saw ... all these people who read their bibles daily, but when I shared my thoughts, I was looked at as "lost".

A few years ago my guidance told me to put the book down and learn to connect with God through nature. I'd mostly been doing that until I joined ES and some things have triggered me to pick the bible back up.

I appreciate the "prophets" where much of the meaning is cloaked, but there are some beautiful psalms that pluck and encourage the heart strings, and wisdom books that nudge thought, and I do appreciate pondering the parables in the new testament from time to time. On the other side of the spectrum, it's interesting to see how the different religions have taken pieces and run with it. I've been a student of religion....yes, seeking truth within, but also trying on and observing many different practices...talk about cults, ha! Feels like this set me up to have a better understanding of the NAA/YHVH Matrix infiltration. The exposure probably got me implanted more than I'd like, but I have maintained distance, in a way, from being sucked into any one belief. Even the ES material which resonates deeply with my being, I still have to check myself now and then to make sure I don't look at it as doctrine.

Anyway, I don't want to sound or feel like I have to justify this interest in biblical (and other) texts... everything continues to unfold for me...but did want to share another perspective that it could be part of some of our missions to learn more about and through it. The power and hook of that book is fascinating. Makes some people crazy... "THE INERRANT WORD OF GOD". Gah!

Kiran

Kiran day, Friday September 10, 2021, was AMAZING!!!

Seraphim... BIRDs on EMERALD Isle! The two-toned blue and green dragonfly blessing was incredible. Beautiful moments and conversation with an Indigo brother. 

I'm so pooped and need to make dinner and it's getting dark but wanted to remember... I guess I'll remember what I need when I'm ready to write about it.

___

Just saw 11:11/11 ... Its 9/11/21. I still feel a little overwhelmed to write about yesterday but I want to. 

11:44/11

7:07

We're having a rough time at this moment... dusk...magnetism... 9/11 Armageddon mind control. But I want to write for my ES journal about yesterday...or last night. Had such a ... my left hand is especially EMF sensitive right now. Just got out of an epsom salt bath.

So I met up with Kiran yesterday and we went to Emerald Isle where we took in a bird walk trompsing around in the woods on the intercoastal waterway side of the island. This area is on a major bird migration path. We didn't see a TON of birds, but we saw some and they were marvelous. Herons, seagulls, hawk, some that we couldn't identify...big ones and little ones. 

There was a MAGICAL experience at one point where we noticed a HUGE VIBRANT dragonfly that was half green and half blue and teal in the middle where it met. I see a LOT of dragonflies of all different colors and we saw some on our walk, but this one felt like it was sent by God. It not only was it HGU dragonfly, but it flew around us in a circle a couple times and I got spirit tingles that I get sometimes from shooting stars, etc... I associate it with liquid plasma light. Definitely felt it was a blessing from God. I could probably write a whole journal post on our interaction with this dragonfly (and I think there were a few of them that showed up... all HGU... GIANT and magnificently colored!) But I'll save you... ha!

For lunch we couldn't find anywhere with healthy options so Kiran suggested a grocery store where he had seen some kombucha he liked. He didn't end up getting kombucha but instead got a protein drink. 

We also went to the beach and went in the water which was actually quite dangerous and we were warned by safety messengers not to go in. The waves were MASSIVE and powerful and they hurt and pushed us hard, even a foot from shore. I was determined to immerse myself and did a couple times but got smashed up and tossed. (Apparently there is a hurricane off the coast right now that was causing these waves and rip current.) But we had a beautiful time. Kiran took a jog and we both had lovely time sitting on the sand talking, overlooking the water from our sand ledge. 

Before we left the beach we shared a POWERFUL couple hugs... I could feel energy pulsing through Kiran and it was beautiful and intense but I felt very neutral and at peace. 

Our time came to a close. We spent about 5 hours together in total.

I felt pretty good coming home... not sure when I stared feeling under the weather but it got progressively worse and I went to bed early not feeling great. I ended up waking up at 1:26am feeling very sick in my belly and feverish. I took a GB3 and peppermint oil and opened the window more for more air. I felt that I should do the HGS Calibration and went through that, burping a lot...transiting miasma... then I felt I should pull a meditation and got "Wounds of Christ". I stayed awake for all of the crucifixion implant part...most of the meditation...but fell asleep during the stations of the cross. 

Been feeling under the weather off and on today... feel like we are doing some clearing for sure.

Upon reflection, I feel that Kiran and I anchored some HG codes together into the 7D axiatonial line/Violet Ray healing. It feels significant that we were on Emerald Isle. 

Be YOU

Got this quote two days in a row:

The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask". ~Jim Morrison

"The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask". ~Jim Morrison

BE WHO I AM. 

"We call out to dry bones, COME ALIVE". 

"Breathe oh breath of god, now breathe oh breathe of god, breathe oh breath of god, now breathe"

Don't go or look backwards!!

Learn tesseract

This morning the words dragon and tesseract were on my lips as I awoke and had to write them down though I don't know what they mean. I have had this wikipedia article up on my computer and need to read it: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tesseract

12:00 12:12 12:34 12:44

I think it's ME who has to die. "Safe Passage for Loved Ones"... my ego self has to go. We are moving into a serious ego death stage. Right? Let it be that. But that's ego trying to control it. So stop. And just keep helping everyone through a safe passage. There are MANY souls needing Safe Passage now, beloved. Thank you for your work. Get to it. 

Also, read this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Particle_physics

Thank you. Need to close that window on my computer. Too much going on. 

12:54

1:18/8 1:22 13:22 6:23 3:33 3:43 3:55 4:00 4:22 4:23 4:44 5:23 5:33 6:22 6:23 18:18 6:33 7:17 9:54 9:55

I get a lot of the same meditations over and over. Just now today's daily AG pick is one that has been coming up lately: https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/12_Strand_Christ_DNA_Activation

The "Safe Passage for Loved Ones" is another. And "Krystal Aegis Diamond Heart". And I got the "Fallen Tree Network" one from ES today. Have gotten the one from Omnilov and also the "Ai Red Wave Clearing" one from OL 3x in a row. These are some examples and very aligned. 

I ate TWO bags of cereal tonight. I was disturbed from watching "Fall of the Cabal" and not getting much (if any) sun today. 

I have had some profound understandings and then they mind-slide away. I just understood during watching Fall of the Cabal how "they" are trying to keep new life, new babies from being born because we are on the precipice of breaking FREE. They feel they are on the precipice of complete world domination. New babies = new souls coming to support the freedom of the earth. Starseed incarnations from higher realms that will thwart their evil plans!

This was one thing ... if it mind-slides, did it still land in the Planetary Logos? 10:01

I also felt so much into my own Annunaki or NAA dark soul that we are working to rehabilitate. Episode 6 started with a monument in Georgia which reminds me of the Georgia Freemason ancestral or relationship that me or pieces of me have been involved with. 

I can so relate to this "world domination" mentality. I've been there and done that ... probably a long time.... but also in this incarnation in some of my roles in corporate america, especially. I have felt that power, and the control, and manipulation and the way you use particular words to evoke a particular response in order to cover a particular control mechanism. Dressing up poison... just a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down... like that. 

GAH!

It's very hard but very necessary to observe. 

We are rehabilitating this in us, thanks be to God and the numerous benevolent beings supporting us. '

10:21... now I just tried to check OmniLov3 and it says my membership expired! Eep! (I paid 9/1 so it shouldn't have.) 

Celtic tounges?

MIRACLE AT 12:23!!!! 12:24

I was listening to Dr. Sue Morter's meditation to prepare for her free FB event where she is, I think, going to teach us how to do remote healing?? Or maybe she's doing remote healing? Annnnyway, I listened to it on my iTunes and when it was over the next song that came on is called Oro Mo Bhadin - My Little Boat and it's on Lifescapes - Celtic Voice - Traditional Celtic music and I realized that THIS is the language that I speak in when I talk in "jibberish" to the dogs! I think?! Right?

GOD!!

This week I've been thinking and talking about how I've got a Celtic and Nordic background... like in THIS incarnation that is my DNA. I thought it was so uncool DNA... I wanted some Jewish, African, or Native American DNA but I am tied to ALL and this Celtic and Norwegian thing is really neat and meaningful... and makes a lot of sense with my propensity to serve this 7D Gaian Hyporborean reclamation. I think I'm doing reclamation work with 2D as well, especially. 

12:33 12:44 12:54 1:22 1:23 13:23 888 923 15:44 3:44 30.44 4:23 4:24

During meditation to repair my architecture...got the same one about correcting reversals, spins, and merkabah... have gotten that at least 3x lately. This time it jumped out of the deck!

Anyway, I think it was during that or maybe not. What is real? Anyway, I realized that I could not merge with Michael... have a physical relationship with him... until we are on the "same page". I shared my thoughts with him and he said that "sounds right". I shared that even he believes that we are here to template God's plan to "live according to our divine purpose" and that man and women were to be "one flesh". I started by sharing that I didn't feel it would be right to have sex until we were UNITED in mind, body, spirit, and emotion. Until we are working toward the same thing. Right now we're not. He will need to surrender the patriarchal mentality and FKOT mentality.

On my walk I was thinking that he can call God whatever he wants... Yehovah is fine... I don't think he really WANTS to be involved in the NAA YHVH Matrix... he genuinely wants to know and serve the true Creator... but he's confused, like the rest of us. We're just trying to figure it out. Afterall it was Jesus I was praying to when I had my walk-in so I believe wholeheartedly that it is our INTENTION...  and his is to serve God. But he has to be willing to go beyond what he thought he knew. He is so dogmatic about his "word of God" (which he believes to be the Tanakh, but only the parts that he agrees with). 

I'm trying to understand the planetary LOGOS which I believe is the "word of God"... which is US as the expression of God...the offspring and that which gives life to God's creation/vision. 

Anyway, it wouldn't be right to merge with Michael... it would be "getting someone's rocks off"... empty and futile flesh activity (which I wouldn't even enjoy).... not what it was designed to be and do, which is to merge and amplify two beings' energies to grow God's love and power in and for the earth. 

Thank you God for the clarity. I hope I can maintain it. And who knows what will happen or if it's God's will... maybe Michael will be "the one"... maybe not. In the meantime we can just love and serve one another and work together and be together as friends and companions weathering this strange time on earth.

My left shoulder is sore. My left ear is clogged(ish). Energetic pressure on left side of brain and head. Last night I saw a shadow type something above my head and left eye...something is there. Being evicted? Yes please God! Clear all negative forms, SPEs, and psychic or physical or emotional or mental or spiritual attack on all levels and layers of my being. Amen.

4:44

And my left foot. That's been bothering me for about a week or 5-6 days. Need to observe. That's all.

___ 

8:18 8:33 8:54 8:55 9:11 9:19 10:10 10:11