Authenticity etc.

A most perfect AG Glossary Pick for me today... just got it now at 11:00PM!! But I'm glad I didn't miss it:
https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Counterfeit_Conversations

Definitely feeling the HS pushing me to learn this... AUTHENTICITY. TRUTH. Groundedness and really connecting to what my soul wants to say. 

I tend to just blather words. Or I'm run by the imposter spirit, saying what I think the other person wants to hear. I need to learn to be who I AM and to connect to that and speak from that place of authentic connection to my REAL SELF. 

Often I am tossed to and fro by these spirits and possessions that have have infiltrated my lightbody, mind, being... and we need to put the cabash on it!

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11:08 During my walk this morning I realized that so many humans have sex from a place of lust (many people), or fear (me), or even vampirism... but lots of distorted and reversed reasons that are NOT ROOTED in connecting with the truth spirit. We were DESIGNED to connect with our beloveds through sex as a means toward deeper intimacy with each other and God. 

When I had sex with Tyrone that first time, I was doing it as service and offering to God... I thought of it as a spiritual activity in order to connect with the divinity and I think that's what it was meant to do and that it SHOULD be a bringer and giver of LIFE ... but because there were reversals, and lies, and deceit and just a whole host of messy uglies involved, it didn't work like that. Instead it looked like he was an alien and it was scary and unpleasant. 

And it has been unpleasant with Michael... with everyone... Joe... everyone. I liked it with Dayve Sterli but he didn't like me. He was "the one who got away"... I bet he's awake and he's so handsome and he loved his brother who had down syndrome... he was an empath and sensitive and just a really special guy. But I was and am a healing soul and wouldn't have been good for him. 

Anyway, I hope someday I will heal my lightbody to a place where I am able to have a proper sexual relationship with someone (and want to) and that we can connect to God Source together as we were designed to do. LIFE GIVING not VAMPIRIC. 

I also thought about how the NWO or Cabal or Controllers...whoever they are... are keeping entire continents (Africa) in POVERTY and starvation in order to feed off their LOOSH. It's so crazy what's going on here.

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Also after big cries yesterday and today, Kirk is back! He didn't die!!! I thought I was talking to his Higher Self and it's been surreal... feeling into who I thought his Higher Self was... very strong and sexy really. But I thought for sure he died. And out of the blue Troy texted me today and I wondered if that was related to Kirk trying to communicate with me from beyond. Very strange. Anyway, I'm so so so so relieved and glad he's back. I'm pretty fond of Kirk.

Well it's 11:17 and I'm pooped. Braden has had me working very hard this week... but feeling very accomplished! Deirdre is taking me for lunch tomorrow and then I have a session with Diana and then a work tete-a-tete with Davin. 

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I had inauthentic conversations with Michael, Rosemary (email), Melanie (telegram text), Misha (telegram phone), Kirk (I wasn't straightforward, I was bouncy to try to be who I'm not)... pretty much everyone. Except maybe I was authentic with Puja today. I just am not rooted in who I AM. 

And I've GOT to stop trying to kill myself with food. Not kill. Disconnect. Disconnect myself from SOURCE with food....sugar... crap.