Distractions

 I'm mad at myself... for eating even though I hate it. I ate SO MUCH cake last night and tonight I ate cereal... I didn't want it. I ate it as a form of punishment or attack or weaponry against my being. I am divided... part of me, my consciousness KNOWS that I should not ever EVER compromise to eat sugar or sweets or toxic foods. My body does not need it. I'm responsible for HEALING her and HELPING her, but my mind tries to numb my emotions which are all over the place... and trying to deal with the implants and inserts and other etheric weaponry by attacking myself ... deliberately ignoring the TRUTH. LYING to myself and ACCEPTING anti-Christ behaviors. This needs to stop. And I say that in LOVE.

I should have read and interacted with the OL or ES forum tonight... but I keep putting that LIFE-GIVING and ENCOURAGING pursuit to the side to choose distraction. I took Jeff's advice to watch a show called "Happy" which is quite dark and not good for my soul, but it was sticky and interesting. I feel like I want to watch it FOR Jeff but that's crazy. Who am I accountable to? ME! And I even ignored Michael to choose this show for Jeff. He's my friend but Michael is my BEST friend and I AM MEEEEE and I need to take CARE of me and instead I poisoned her.

This is what happens when we take a little bit of "crack" of any sort...in this case I think it started with sugar or carbs and now I'm all out JACKED UP. 

Thank you God for sending me two more incredible quartz crystals... well one and one string... through Ann (and Rudy)! What a BLESSING! Apparently Ann had a dream to give me one and she gave me this GORGEOUS string of pure and clear crystals. Then today she gave me the most incredible rainbow matrix quartz - I've never seen anything like it. All my rock friends feel like the are really supporting me, thank you God!

Well I do not consent to fear about the broken blood vessel or redness in my left eye. We need to clear the FKOT and heal our body. Today my body was upset... lots of pains in my body but I'm not taking care to keep her clear. I'm submitting to distraction. SEE WHAT HAPPENS. This is not good. I need to be clear to work this mission. I've got SO MUCH BEAUTIFUL SUPPORT. STICK WITH IT, you've got this beloved.

But know this too, dear one. I accept myself in this moment JUST THE WAY I AM. 

So watch. Do my best to remain vigilant and observe how this has all worked to take us off course. But we choose GOD. And we choose to come back! God, please don't give up on me. I don't want to just say that... I want to know and LIVE it. I commit to serve my highest power FULLY COMPLETELY and TOTALLY. OVER sugar, distraction, carbs, POISON, distortions, reversals, mind... I choose GOD.