Don't push him away.

 I need to get my expecations, entitlement, and anger under control. I was meditating... pulled the "Clearing the YHVH Matrix and 12 Feathers of Aquaferion" which was so perfect! But halfway through, my phone alarm (for Pi) started going off in the other room. I had a really hard time concentrating on the meditation and wanted ...wished... for Paul to turn it off. He was in the bathroom so I didn't think that was possible... until I heard him finish in the bathroom and heard him walking around the house. I was sure he would turn it off, but he didn't. I just fumed and fumed and got madder and madder and eventually got up to turn it off myself. Paul was walking back in from outside when I came out and I exploded (not super bad, but just like "WHY DID YOU NOT TURN THIS OFF?!!"... and he said "it's not my phone"...ugh. I said it was and grumbled back to the guest room to finish the meditation. As I was turning it back on I realized that the clock said 12:22 on 1/22 in 2022 ... 12:22/22/22... stopped at 13:14 remaining. I hit the 30 seconds back a couple times and it ended on 17:17 ... so I just needed to chill. It was all aligned.

THIS (meditation) is what Paul and I are working on so much... all the YHVH Matrix stuff... disconnecting from Abbadon and signing up to connect with the organic matrix for DNA rehabilitation for the 12 strands/human blueprint. 

I am uptight. 
The veins are here. 
Not feeling super grounded.
We had at least 3 inches of snow... maybe 4. It's pretty! 
It's cold. 
I need to take care of my adrenals. 
And Paul.
My head is starting to clear some.... It doesn't feel as bad as yesterday. Still clogged, especially in 10D. But this is all part of the restructuring and repair. And I need to BE NICE. I call on the spirits of CHRIST to embody - purity, patience, kindness, generosity, discipline, diligence, and humility. 

I'm so entitled. 
Serve. This is what I came for. Serve with a happy heart.

I broke into tears today looking at the Ozzy Ozbourne albume cover for Ozzmozis (Paul called Moses that name this morning which led to this... and then he said his spots reminded him of the album cover and then he wanted to play me the songs that remind him of his children... I listened to the one that reminded him of Elijah and it was so beautiful and I cried and cried....  lots of tears. It was beautiful... but at the end so sad ... no hope for eternity. And in the album cover I saw the mismatched body parts all hoping for RRO. This is what we are doing for ourselves and our family. Paul and I are apparently signed up for this Satanic reclamation thing.

I've been saying for as long as I've been spiritual that I related so much to "the devil".... and I wanted to love the devil to help "him" repent.... there is lots of this "devil" and also, like, the SRA connection and pedophilia connection... it's all so personal for my soul to work on. And now I'm united with my Aeonic Pair and he is a dang "Satanist"... he calls himself an "Anarcho-Satanist"... and I know his soul is doing this reclamation work too... like Ezekiel did...and what I'm here to do. This the "dragging the darkness into the light". This is the work...the mission... recognizance. And now I have my beloved to work with.... 

SO DON'T PUSH HIM AWAY!!!

I want to journal on ES. I need to. I just don't know where to start. It's fine. We are still learning...Guidance is with us. Thank you God. 

I wanted to move out of here, but it seems that we need to be here, anchoring frequencies right where we are. I was offered the assistant to the property manager job (which is pretty much me being a property manager sans the title)... $500 a month. Not sure when it starts. But it keeps us here. It's great here. Family isn't far. We're near the Air Force Base. Not far from Lisa and Tomas. Holding a HGS field...or supposed to. 

All divine. I am eternal. Fear not.
Fear pulsing wants to get me. Have had to work with Death Energies the last few days... this FEAR... but I need to just feel it. With everything... FEEL IT.