Please heal Moses

10:22 10:23

"I release control, and surrender to the flow, of love, that will heal me." (song)

I need to surrender Ming. Moses. I want to create, with my intention, and see, with my heart, that he will be fine... that we will get to the bottom of this. But he almost died the other day when his head got stuck in the fence. I don't know how it happened but it did. These are attacks on my beloved Guardian and healer. My weak spot. I am begging God to shield us. I feel at fault in a way because I've not been as "in the light" as I should be... I guess. I feel this is part of my mission to dig into the shadow and work with and love these harder energies... and holding them with Paul. Yesterday the addiction matrix was strong and Paul chose to 10:26 give in to his addictions, to the demons, to the voice. He recognizes it though. He felt it. He talked about it. I loved him. That's how we heal, right? 

I cried. Much responsibility as we work together...heal together. Tikkun Olam. We both have blind spots and we both hold each other in LOVE. I awoke to Paul whispering in my ear, "Let There Be Love". Thank you God. 

I can't get caught up in the mental ruminations about his beliefs ... I have been given a gift to see beyond those layers to my divine beloved - we are ONE in the LIGHT (and dark). I realized yesterday that we both were given that "soul mate" level HGU experience earlier this decade and both of us experienced mission failure and both of us experienced the metatronic reversal pit of doom. We then both had alchemical relationships that were designed to provide space for healing. Just now I wondered if maybe that's what I am too. I need to find more love. I need to stay connected to the Source. Right now I'm in fear.... this thing with Moses. I need to just entrust his spirit to God and know that he is working his piece and I am working mine. We love each other super duper much and I ask God and our teams to please provide healing, peace, direction, clarity, and help me to find and hold neutral IN LOVE. 

Page has kindly offered to work on her day off - to meet me to see what she can do to help him. (He's choking so badly - worse and worse.) Please heal our beloved friend, God. 10:33  

____

8:54 - Lots of numbers, always. 2:22 223.32 7:07 8:08 7:43 7:44 8:44 8:55 (and that's just a few that I remember. 

Thank you God for helping Moses. His x-ray showed that his neck looked okay on the inside, but his glands and throat were really swollen. Page gave him some steroids and antibiotics - he couldn't swallow the pill so she gave him a shot first and tomorrow we'll start the pills. He seems to be getting much better though. He has choked only once that I've seen tonight. 

I realized when driving to the vet/Raleigh that we are having something big happening on the throat-front. A couple nights ago I woke up with acid reflux and my whole throat was burning. I sat with it for an hour trying to help it and then sat up as I tried to sleep the rest of the night. The next day my throat was swollen and painful ... my chest. I thought it might have been related to activations. 

And Moses is my starseed companion and also working on similar things... I think he took some of this for me or he is working his piece as well. I listened to the OmniLov3 Shadow talk and tried to really feel into the fear. I recognized this was a timeline override and tried to feel into the energies that were coming up. It was so hard. I cried a lot. 

Definitely feeling relieved that he is doing better.

On Paul, it's hard. We aren't taking care of ourselves that well.... he's not. I'm not that well but not as bad as him. I can't compare. I can't keep a record of wrongs. I can't look at him at all. I have to focus on me. Even the Moses thing is tied to victim/victimizer and I see all the hooks trying to get me. 

I am going to "script", aka, see the reverse/positive.
Paul is taking such good care of me! (Actually, he really DID get a glass shard out of my finger with tweezers that was pretty impressive!) He is conscientious and a hard worker. He sees something that needs to get done and does it. He spends his time doing productive things. He is feeling into his heart. (We did have a rest/sound bath today that was nice.) 

Long story short, Paul is me. The me I was with Michael. Princess code. He let me take the garbage out. I have to ask him to do things - can you please help Michael move this? Can you please help Michael get our dog crate? Can you please... etc. He is happy to sit like a lump on his phone or tablet and then complains about feeling bad because he wishes more were done. 

I want to say I should have paid attention to the red flags. There are many. But the fact still remains that we have this undeniable soul connection. When we connect. That's the other thing. We're not always connected. Ah.... okay. Yes we are. His lower self and my lower self aren't... but our Higher Selves are and they want to help us to learn to love eachother well. To cross the Luciferian Abyss. 

Nothing good comes from looking at him or worrying about what he's doing. I'm responsible for ME. And look at the initiative I TOOK... I took the garbage out. I've helped Michael. I've cleaned and organized. I've done meditations and eaten my vegetables. Yes.

When I told Kirk about Moses and the vet (briefly), he said something like it sounded like I was on the verge of the White Cat or something. (26... divine feminine embodiment). Was very encouraging. I miss Kirk.

1/1/22 9:11