So many numbers

So many numbers! I've especially been seeing 4:44 1:44 2:22 12:22 11:11 this week. I saw lots of 12:13 or 13:12 last week. And 13:13 I think I saw this week. 

Today...
4:44/11 22% 11/6:00


I started to get mad in myself that Paul won't make me his beneficiary. He has excuses...we're not married, etc. But you know I'll be stuck with his debts and have already given everything - all my savings to bale him out and get him set up - same as I did with Tyrone. And I'll be responsible for Manson and all his stuff. So I started to get angry and bitter. But this is TOXIC. This is DM. This is coming up for witnessing. I don't need to control. I don't need "money". I don't need anything. I just need to BE HERE NOW. 

Be present and in LOVE and do the best I can. Be HAPPY and POSITIVE and JOYFUL. Don't look at things like I'm always being ripped off. I'm creating that. I am always being BLESSED! Look at my beautiful life!!! Surrounded by my crystals as I work for my siblings and getting to create the life I want. I'm on this beautiful piece of property with my beloved fur and feather family and I get a crack at being with my divine soul mate! 

BE HAPPY!! ALWAYS!!

Quote of the day: "I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy” ~Rabindranath Tagore

Affirmation of the day:

Please remember this. We are just in this space working out our "miasmas" and it's an HONOR to get to do it together. Last night he said he thinks I'm crazy... and he didn't say it meanly or to hurt me, he was just tired and his filter was down and it really tweaked me out. I feel betrayed because my divine beloved doesn't seem to SEE me. He doesn't see my courage and strength and all that I deal and work with in my self. He doesn't see how hard I try and how precious and unique I am. And it hurts. And my negative ego was rising up to complain and try to change it but I tried to put her to rest .... he's entitled to his opinion and it's a real win that he shared it with me. I AM definitely different... unique... odd... special. Crazy... fine. Page calls me crazy too. It is what it is. I hear voices. I talk to rocks and trees. I cry and pray and walk around naked. I have a really challenging emotional life and experience (which is seeping through to my physical). It's okay. I've said from the beginning that I'm not "normal". I'm a multidimensional being having a physical experience in this matter realm and it's perfect as is. Yesterday I had some naked time in the mirror with my BFF, with ME. That is what will move the needle for me. My own love and acceptance of myself. It doesn't matter what others think - not even Paul. I LOVE ME. CHOOSE to love me to see me to feel me.... this mirror exercise... the quality time spent with Carissa, working with my gestalt family and healing my own heart, is what I'm here to do.

AG pick: https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Artificial_Timelines

Thank you God! That was an answer and reminder about what we're observing... this distortion to the 10-tree grid vs. organic 12ray system that earth humans are designed to be connected to and through. The Thothian distortion is being pulsed out through the awakening communities - this is that "New Age Hijack" too that I am getting to witness through what is being shared in the programs we are watching in Gaia. So it's a reminder to guard my heart and mind and take what resonates and discard the rest. The "Sacred Geometry" and even the one about Sound is pushing this false Sephirot... Kabballah... 10-tree reversal consciousness. Disconnecting the Christ-consciousness connection... Crystal.... Krystal...Christal... Crystal Core... this is why these crystals are so wonderful as they hold this consciousness.... the rocks and the trees will cry out. They will bear witness about God... the true heaven and earth. 

Christianity has been distorted in this way too. Christ... Crystal consciousness... has been lobbed off and replaced with this idol worship of a false "Jesus". The truth that Yeshua lived and shared was suppressed in order to trap and enslave humans. It's tricky business. Even those like Paul who are "anti-Christian" are actually trapped because they are still working within this (similar to the 10-tree grid) hijack. We have to get beyond that false hologram to the truth that sets us free.  Thank you God!

Rolled a meditation: February 2013 - Five Breath Organ Cleanse

_____

11/2:22 234 33 13:22/11 13:13/1110:33/11

I wanted to note that I have witnessed multiple "suicide thoughts" being beamed to me today. Earlier when I was starting or finishing meditation and one big one when I was going to my car after lunch with Jannelle... it told me to step in front of traffic/truck! SCARY MARY!

11/2:44 
11/3:33

GOD, please witness the mind control and toxic thoughts that are being pulsed. I AM IMMOVABLE IN CHRIST. I AM FIRM, STRONG, ROOTED, ALIGNED and ONE with the CRYSTOS MISSION. 

"You can't rush your healing." https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=qEduv96dMw8

5:55 6:11 18:11/11 18:18/11

8:51 on the 11th 
Thank you God for the lightning. Thank you for the kundalini support. Thank you for hearing me talk about my vulnerability and commitment. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be of service even when it isn't reciprocated. Thank you for the ambiguity that allows me to learn to go with the flow. Thank you for loving me when I don't know how to love myself. Thank you for LIFE. I am grateful for this gift. Help me to embody more and more of my Godself, and to love and heal this precious Carissa more and more. Thank you for ES and OL communities. Thank you for LOVE. Thank you for Moses and Rue and Manson too. Thank you for their barks that give me the opportunity to practice releasing stress. Thank you for these lessons.
8:54

I saw 11:09 when I was with Jannelle earlier. It's like a reverse 9:11. I was seeing lots of 9:11s a week or two ago. I don't think I've seen any in the last couple days. Lots of 11's but not the 9:11, thanks be to God!