Today

 4:04, 4:24, 5:05

AG pick: https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Soul_Disconnection

Going to see Roland the shaman today, thanks be to God. Please guide us, Beloveds!

______

9:49. I saw 1111 and 11:44 and 444 and 555 and 923

And I ate a slice of cheesecake and it was NOT good. I do not care for the taste of sugar. Too sweet. 

Just talking with the pendulum, it would be in my best interest to only eat meat and not eat vegetables and the heart palpitations are from detox and they will get better.

Beautiful session with Roland the shaman today. We spent 3.5 hours with him and he was so kind to us both. It was an honor and pleasure to hold space for Jannelle as he worked with her - first talking and then on the table. And then it was so helpful to talk with and sit as he cleared me. His hands were freezing cold and sometimes warm. Powerful healing energy.

I've got a LOT of energy now... spastic... intense. 

Then we went to the O'Malleys and we asked Ryan to come so Jannelle could meet him. Secretly I just wanted to hug him again. I love hugging him. It's not good. I have a divided heart. I really like him... he is so lovely and I am attracted to him and think he's amazing. But he smokes and has had the jab so that makes him offffff limits. He loves animals and wants them but he won't eat his own. 

I asked the pendulum if Paul was the best match for my partner and got a "yes" and if Ryan was my best match for a partner and got "yes" and if Jeff was my best match for a partner and got "no". 

I got wet talking to Ryan. Not good. 

I need more of Paul.

God, please lead. 

So with Roland, when he did the energy work, I felt him push a red and black blob of fear up and out of me. And something in my sacral attached to my mind.

Ryan loves America and sounds like he trusts the government. But he loves quantum physics.

We can be friends. I'm so glad. And maybe I can help him find a nice, pretty, sweet girl. 

PAUL is my guy!

And I am going to commit to another month of carnivore. No. I'm not doing a diet anymore. I commit to taking care of my body and giving it what it needs so it can heal. I am releasing toxins and oxalates and other crap. Let's eat MEAT and LIVE. 

So my focus will be on my personal foundations list:

• Meat is better for my body... it nourishes and supports it.
• Sugar and sweetners cause me to fall into addiction and separate me from sanity and God.
• Exercise - moving my body - makes me feel better!
• Meditation is good for my being
• Spending time with myself in the mirror daily helps me to feel loved and when I take the time to do it for long periods of time, it allows me to work with collapsing timelines or whatever that is.
• The sun salutation is a good way to get the energy moving in my body

SO TAKE CARE OF ME!!!!

I want my body to start burning fat as fuel and to eat the fat on my body.

____

3/1 5:34am. I dreamt of Ryan all night... when I was sleeping. I think my dreams are messing with me.
Took me a long time to get to sleep... an hour or two? I was cold. Lots of energy. In my dreams Ryan and I were getting together... this is not good. I need to get myself together. Paul and I are together and finally getting on the same page. 

He doesn't have time for me...but he's trying to better himself. 
What I like about Ryan are his eyes and his hugs and how he looks at me and how kind his heart is and his gratitude for life and how he can make or fix anything...super hot/sexy. He loves animals and I just like him. I do NOT like his jab or his smoking and those SHOULD be deal-breakers and I should just put this whole thing out of my head. But why is it in my heart? Ayla's quote that I used on her March calendar is speaking to this:

 “Wherever you feel 

              both 

      incredible longing

                 and 

                     intense fear

            THAT is where life

        is calling you.

                    Lean in…

       go you where the energy is

especially if it scares ya a little bit…”

          ~Ayla Nereo

But I may also have Red Wave trying to hijack Pauls and my sacred union. We are getting closer! Beautiful lovemaking and commitment to healing. He is getting stronger and more confident. WE ARE BECOMING.

Jeff and Ryan have been my fantasys for a long time...especially strongly the last couple months. Hijack????? Yes. Probably. 
I asked the pendulum and got an "I don't know" or "you're on your own" message. 

I need to make a hot water bottle and try to go back to sleep. 3/1 5:43. Braden is 40 today!!!!!