On point with many inquiries of my consciousness. Today I asked Ryan what his thoughts are on virtues...which ones he values and is willing to LIVE BY. He's always said that "honesty" is his most important one... truth... but he has no problem lying to people's faces.
This is how consciousnesses are split:
"The agenda to increase Cognitive Dissonance in the way people think is purposely plotted to more easily manipulate the consent out of the individual and public. It allows people to perform actions and behaviors that are actually contradictory to their personal belief systems. People that act in behaviors or ways that are actually the opposite of what they believe in, generate a lot of Mental Anxiety and accumulate emotional aberrance into their Pain Body. Emotional aberrance, unresolved conflicts, inner violence, fear and pain attract energetic parasites. Many times these parasites contribute to the psychological manipulation of fear in the person’s body. As a result, in order to avoid facing pain or discomfort, the person may refuse to address the contradiction that occurs between their behaviors and belief system. So they put up a wall and avoid confronting it entirely. When a person lives in perpetual cognitive dissonance, the mental and emotional stress that it creates leads to splitting behaviors and soul fracturing. These dissonant thoughtforms and the internal fracturing are used to manipulate the consent of the masses to keep them spiritually oppressed, feeding into destructive structures they do not understand that harbor anti-human forces that act as parasites to the human body."
And mine too. I see myself acting this stuff out with Ryan. The "multiple layers of truth" is a form of this, isn't it? God, thank you for the opportunity to feel into all of this.
Am I getting stronger and wiser or weaker and more trapped? Is this part of the recon mission? Go into the metatronic reversal pit of doom and swim around and then come out and ponder it? I am dizzy today... surely from the two cupcakes which were not good and which I did not need. Sugar and flour are not my friends.
Breathe.
Breathe.
What does TV do to me? It's fun watching sports with Ryan. The "reality TV" is a time and soul suck but I like it. It's crack....perpetuating addictive behaviors and sucking on my soul. I got into "Naked and Looking for Love" or something where they've got all these naked people on a dessert island...it's a dating show too. Junk food for my brain (and soul). This is not good. I was better when I was reading about animal souls and communication... or just sitting in the hammock...or pondering life.
Let's talk about Ryan. It's so good when it's good and it's the end of the world when it's bad. "Everyone".... his parents at least...and now and then some friends...think it's not healthy for us. His parents tell him to RUN. And I have finally understood and accepted that if it's over between us, that he doesn't want to be friends and we won't be friends. When it's over, it's over. So that puts added weight on it.
I ask if I want to continue putting up with the drama and heartache and I say "yes" most of the time because of how much I feel I'm learning and the deep joy and satisfaction I get when I think HE is learning. When we are growing individually and together. That's very satisfying. I think we are both coming out of some massive inversions... metatronic reversals and given a chance to get onto a timeline that is higher.... I just realized it may not be my highEST if I stay with him, but it's definitely an ascending one... and I feel like the bottisatva component of not leaving a man behind, my beloved Ryan, is virtuous. What does God say? That it's my choice.
The "grass is greener" is a TRAP and lie. There will always be challenges. What does my soul want to DO here? Is it greener to start over and maybe never find a soul as beautiful as Ryan's? Ryan's soul is beautiful but also broken... it's the green dragon/black dragon split. Mine might be rainbow dragon/black dragon split. But we are helping each other... and it's so satisfying to me to see him growing.... is that enough? It doesn't matter.... this is life and the playground and there is always more. But enjoy the ride and try to be present and feel it and not get sucked into addiction. The addictions...the distractions... the distortions...the dissassociations...those are all unfortunate and they are what would be considered "bad" [use of time and energy]. The drama and all that growth, that's not necessarily bad...that's rich... and it can hurt/cause suffering, but that's part of what we came to do.
Let's talk about Ryan. It's so good when it's good and it's the end of the world when it's bad. "Everyone".... his parents at least...and now and then some friends...think it's not healthy for us. His parents tell him to RUN. And I have finally understood and accepted that if it's over between us, that he doesn't want to be friends and we won't be friends. When it's over, it's over. So that puts added weight on it.
I ask if I want to continue putting up with the drama and heartache and I say "yes" most of the time because of how much I feel I'm learning and the deep joy and satisfaction I get when I think HE is learning. When we are growing individually and together. That's very satisfying. I think we are both coming out of some massive inversions... metatronic reversals and given a chance to get onto a timeline that is higher.... I just realized it may not be my highEST if I stay with him, but it's definitely an ascending one... and I feel like the bottisatva component of not leaving a man behind, my beloved Ryan, is virtuous. What does God say? That it's my choice.
The "grass is greener" is a TRAP and lie. There will always be challenges. What does my soul want to DO here? Is it greener to start over and maybe never find a soul as beautiful as Ryan's? Ryan's soul is beautiful but also broken... it's the green dragon/black dragon split. Mine might be rainbow dragon/black dragon split. But we are helping each other... and it's so satisfying to me to see him growing.... is that enough? It doesn't matter.... this is life and the playground and there is always more. But enjoy the ride and try to be present and feel it and not get sucked into addiction. The addictions...the distractions... the distortions...the dissassociations...those are all unfortunate and they are what would be considered "bad" [use of time and energy]. The drama and all that growth, that's not necessarily bad...that's rich... and it can hurt/cause suffering, but that's part of what we came to do.
Sharing this again:
https://energeticsynthesis.com/resource-tools/blog-timeline-shift/3957-naa-promote-drug-abuse-2
More recent themes:
Lincoln - maybe go ahead and watch that movie
Cats
144
11:09 (more than the 9:11 I have been seeing the last few months)
left side support... and left eye especially... support my liver too...
Many numbers - especially mirrors lately... and progressive ones. Last night 222 and 234 and today 234
No comments:
Post a Comment