About me - spiritual warfare questionairre

I answered a questionaire to get more information about potentially joining Bernhard Guenther's "Spiritual Warfare" class. But it was $2500 so I tapped out. I am glad I captured my answers to 2 of the questions because it is a good snapshot of where I'm at. I was running to an event at the time so it was really top of mind, and I like that too. Authentic. Here we are:

Consciousness exploration and the nature of spiritual "reality" is a big part of what I am doing here. I started listening to the Cosmic Matrix podcast a few months ago and am smitten. I heard you mention this course a month or two ago but didn't really want to stand in the "spiritual warfare" energy field ... maybe spiritual bypassing, but I think it's more "saturation" as I was very involved with this topic through my relationship with Lisa Renee and Energetic Synthesis for 5-6 years and am in a bit of a break from what I perceive as a possible consciousness trap that perpetuates the victim mentality. Aaaaaanyway, after reading your most recent article (the Charlie Kirk one), I decided that I DO, indeed, want to stand in this energy field and ponder with ya'll... I feel a kinship in our current understanding as an observer - not a "knower" - as we feel through this strange and wonderful experience we are living/dancing.

I consider myself a polarity integrator and the deep interest in spiritual matters has really become me. I don't know if it's really a thing, but I may have had a "walk-in" on January 2, 2010... I said at the time that God poured into me and I poured out. It happened in a church and I haven't been the same since. I truly started hearing "the voice of God" which I now believe to be my higher self and kind of like an angelic consciousness that came to resurrect and restore a fallen consciousness that is also living in me now. I have been guided and passionate about studying many religions and spiritual matters since then. Most recently I aligned to Energetic Synthesis thinking that it provided context to so much of what I experience but a few years ago I started questioning that too and now pretty much don't like to look for answers outside of myself, but I'm also not providing answers fast enough for my ego, ha! Anyway.... it's a wild ride and I'm all in!