Stupid Computer

I'm not sure why I came back to the computer. I need to get away from it. I've been on it all day trying to finish Mom's book. 

Today I found out that Mom had a heart attack when they were in Dallas. They didn't want to tell me because they knew I was already worried about Ryan's surgery.

It's been a lot. Ryan had surgery on Tuesday. Today is Thursday night. It seems like so long ago. God gave me tonight ...well from 10:30 on, so don't worry, don't perpetuate the drama, and REST. Maybe take a bath.

I was sooooo excited to see Ryan and he had waited to eat dinner with me and then he blew up and chased me away. It was because I told him I got a text from Ramsey. I read it to him. I told him he had nothing to worry about and later he said he was going to get back to me on it (because he had thoughts about it) and I groaned because I didn't think there was anything to talk about but that didn't honor his feelings - obviously he DID have something to talk about.

Thank you for showing me that God.

His REACTION is NOT OKAY. But my dismissing his feelings isn't either. 

If we are partners, we are holding space and working through these types of issues together.

I finished Mom's book today - I have taken the last 3 days to care for Ryan and finish the book and it's not perfect, but it's done!