Context for what I experienced Wednesday especially

Dear Lisa, I am sending much gratitude for this update. Context makes everything bearable! I have also been feeling sick this week…started on Tuesday with this unpleasant smell in my sinuses (back behind and up from my throat) that is still with me. Wednesday (the 18th) I was in bed most of the day and I wasn’t sure if it was a flu (of course covid came to mind!), or energetic (positive (kundaini/awakening flu) or negative (black magic)). I felt like I had a raging fever (but the thermometer said no), and my lungs were tight and felt like my sinuses were full and pressure in my head and ears and sore throat and diarrhea.... just unwell! But I kept wondering if it was real ... like "I'm not getting good oxygen!! Wait, am I? Maybe I am? Why do I think I'm not?"...then back around again -thought looping. And on top of that despite doing a daily fear matrix removal program since I joined in January, I was overcome with toxic fear. I definitely felt lots of energy moving in my body and field and did so many clearing meditations on Wednesday (and had lots of “check outs” which I usually assume to be deep etheric surgery and/or work that needs to be done without my Carissa consciousness getting in the way).

I talked a little about the activity I have had regarding this SRA topic this week in my journal already, but wanted to note that since then I also got hit with these uncomfortable physical symptoms. I'm feeling better now. There are still a few lingering energies but I honestly haven’t done much clearing today. Wednesday was the worst - I had to surrender my life “Okay God, if it’s my time, it’s my time.” (I’m so dramatic! And the fear doesn’t help. But we’re working on it.) Shadow clearing. Purging.

I’m not sure if this is relevant, but I think it was Tuesday morning when I had a dream (and I don’t usually remember dreams, but I’ve had two memorable ones this week)… and there was a huge cargo ship with all these openings in the side of the ship with luggage ramps and little naked boys wrapped in cellophane were coming out of the hull of the ship coming down these ramps…laying on their backs with legs kind of indian style folded in so they were squarish, I didn’t sense life or death, but they were coming down like suitcases one after the other with no space between them or maybe they slid down the ramp on top of eachother like that… anyway, it was pretty shocking to behold. I think I woke myself up in horror.

Anyway, appreciate this update.

God provided me with a whale and white lion meditation disk this week and Wednesday the whale’s soothing songs provided much comfort. That’s not a mer-person but I bet they know each other! 

Much love to all of you here generously doing this work with compassion, diligence, kindness, patience, humility, and discipline! I aspire to that too!
Love,
Carissa