On Sexuality

Thank you for this very valuable discussion and all that was shared is certainly adding light and consciousness to our whole world - it’s so healthy for us to talk about… I guess that’s what coming out of the closet SHOULD mean…dragging the confusion and shame and misinformation out of the dark and into the light to be shared and held as One.

This context of being both male and female… healing the divide within…personal heiros gamos union… has been so HUGE for me. I’ve been in confusion all my life since I was a young girl who looked like a boy and felt like a monster.

I’ve been a lot of things in this life and the sexuality arena is no exception. Now I see how it’s related to indigo contracts healing sexual misery programming (polarity integration, etc.) but this understanding is JUST coming online, so I’ve lived with a ton of confusion and shame.

I’ll tell you, even going from gay to straight brings a lot of condemnation from that community as well. I’ve been a living as a heterosexual (including a very religious one with strong beliefs even toward patriarchal domination and polygamy) for many years now...but knowing that inside I was probably still a lesbian. I have a lot of confusion about it and about a year ago I decided to be celibate and just work with myself on healing this part of me. I’d say that almost every time I have had sex I fractured on some level… tiny splinters to massive pieces of my being flying off to who knows where. Whether I was with a male or female, gay or straight, didn’t matter… I’ve just never been healthy in that arena (and I’ve tried lots of different things to GET healthy… but they didn’t help and may have made me worse). My sweet husband is definitely a gift from God to me to allow me this space to heal. He holds lots of space for my healing, may God reward him greatly for his sacrifice and love. We do our best to take care of his needs - TMI - but important to note since I am married.

So that said, I’ve loved this androgny/ hermaphrodite idea that I’ve been swimming in here in ESF. It’s provided a place of safety. Like one of those floating docks you can swim out to in a lake where I can just sit and breathe and take it all in. ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Hermaphrodite

I am definitely more masculine dominated… the divine feminine is just coming online for me and I am learning more about her and learning how valuable she is. In my recent session with Joe we were talking about two factions in me that I’m trying to resolve and both are male (benevolent and tyrant)….but neither allowed the support and influence of the God-ordained partner, the feminine…. so slowly we are integrating this beautiful presence. (I did allow the reversal dark mother, however, so there are probably interesting dynamics there that read like a “ Reign ” script.)

Anyway, I love all the conversation about this. Thank you to everyone for your contributions! I love love love Kelly’s courage and willingness to share as it really does help us all to gain deeper understanding into a very sensitive and complex matter that affects us all in Unity.

Lisa, I just want to say I wish and hope that one day you’ll publicly share the beautiful insights you have shared with us here and on other threads. The manner with which you approach these topics (in love and humility) and the energetic signature behind your words (compassion and desire to be of service) and the wisdom you bring culminates in a very healing reading experience. I wish I had something from you to share with others who are struggling with LGBTQ issues…but at the same time I realize that I AM the something that you/WE ARE sharing with others. As I attune to the field and heal myself, I will be able to be the placeholder for that same compassionate and wise energy to go forth. I am becoming a knower of God to then be a way shower of God … that applies with this too.

Thank you for this. I loved it.

With Gratitude,
Carissa