Name etc.

 The "name" of God has come up twice this morning.... and it's something I've been thinking about lately...working it out in consciousness I guess. 

Michael said that if I prayed to YEHOVAH then I wouldn't be attacked by demonic entities (Baphomet energy has been around lately and I had a disturbing dream last night which I told him about in order to drag the darkness into the light.) I prayed to YHVH for years and was definitely in bondage... but getting out... I prayed to Jesus for years and was rescued... and neither of those entities are God, but God and my guidance teams saw my heart and are helping me. 

But I think the name thing is a trap... designed to take our focus off LOVE and GOD and focus on rules and expressions of flesh. 

Mind the things of the spirit, not the things of the flesh.

I've been minding the things of the flesh lately. Another dip in addiction... I guess to understand it. All these things are to understand it... and to choose rightly... to choose love. To see clearly and then choose GSF. 

A Facebook friend sent me a video song "Your name is forever YAHUAH".... so I see the theme. 

I choose GOD.  NO name... no label... just truth in love. 

Been an interesting week... went to Myrtle Beach with Bean, Saylor, Nolie, and Aunt Donna. Lots of people... lots of gluttony... I watched my light be squelched. Did get to sit on the beach and meditate... and had fun looking for shells with the girls... Farkle with Bean... just lovely. 

Second appointment with Andrew yesterday... God lead. I think we can help each other but Baphomet or some trickster is trying to get involved. He's a kid. Maybe 30 (or younger) ...   but thoughts come up... why whenever there is interaction (intimacy) with a man, do I go there. I start "liking" them. I think of my high school journal where I was always wishing and hoping for a boy to like me and I liked them so much... or a girl I guess too. Tanya. I don't know... I'm a black hole, that's why... a wormhole dark portal that is sucking energy from people and it makes me think I want things to fill/plug the hole which essentially leaks my life force.

Are these holes the same as the stargates or different? Both... can be rips, but also holes in stargates...well, reversals actually. They are kind of like opening your airplane door when it's in the air where it can create a suction to pull stuff (people) out. 

I miss ES and my friends but I'm full and have to integrate and find center. And we've got the big trip to the Emerald Coast area coming up soon too. God bless Gabe.

Another boy. I talked to him and now I think I'm in love with him. And Andrew. Everyone. I need to learn to be secure and fulfilled within my own Heirogamic Union. I am enough. 

Today's glossary pick was a short one:
https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/HG_Crown

The HG Crown or Hieros Gamos Crown represents the unification of the masculine and feminine. This can occur both individually, and also in a sacred marriage relationship with another human. Within the process of embodying the Hieros Gamos the masculine and feminine crowns merge to share one unified crown. This also acts as an override to the Crown of Thorns device.

This is probably what my higher self is working on for me right now if I could please help.

Also, deeper innerstanding about embodiment and the importance of supporting my vessel so that my Godself be an acupuncture point on the earth to help with the ascension. This is why I am here and is very important work, but making my vessel worthy and strong enough to do the work is KEY. Also, I can only be here on this plane as long as my vessel is so if I want to live long (here) and do the work I have come to do, I have to take care of it. 

Carissa... ego... flesh... is clinging to what she knows but there is a shift happening and we need to surrender into it. 

With Michael he is talking to Ammi ... and I feel some jealousy but it's what I wished for ... I want him to be happy and cared for and I do think Ammi will continue the work but better in his context as she's more aligned with "YHVH" (Saturn Blood Worship) and I am not anymore. I like the comfort of Michael and the life we have, but I need to find my OWN love inside, my own HG relationship and balance and I guess we are all designed to have partners on earth too... I may have wasted mine this time around, but any work I do will bring it closer whether in this life or another... to be reunited with my true love.  Unity between Holy Mother, Holy Father, and the expression and offspring of their love, Christ-Sophia I AM.... and Unity between masculine and feminine within.... and Unity between my Godself and that which I AM here on earth too, Carissa in this incarnation. But there is also another layer...one that I thought I was going to experience with Tyrone which I didn't but maybe because I wasn't ready or maybe because he and I were tricked (if we had an anti-HG union) by the Red Cube Matrix.... anyway... I believe on a cellular level this is what I yearn for... but I do have to earn it. And I've been so lazy... or ensnared rather. That's it... give yourself grace... I've been ensnared.

Anyway, maybe Ammi will be a sister-wife, or maybe I'll be cut loose or maybe she won't be in the picture at all... God, take the wheel.