Consciousness TRAP

 Thanks be to GOD for watching out for me!!! I ASKED for God to put the cabash on the thing with poor Paul. Poor innocent Paul, caught in the crossfire in MY spiritual lesson. 

The lesson = Red Cube Ai /ALB (alien love bite) ... FEEL IT again. I felt it. I could feel it. I resisted it MOSTLY but there was a little that I felt into. I did the right thing asking God to lead... my TEAMS to direct me.

And they helped Paul to be freaked out ...because I was NOT operating from my Still Point and that energetic ATTACK in the form of WAY TOO MUCH communication. 

I watched as I kept thinking that MORE communication would get me out of the mess. That's one thing.

It was also a Consciousness TRAP: https://ascensionglossary.com/index.php/Consciousness_Traps 

This kept my wheels spinning and was trying to lure me away from, (A) my still point, (B) my home and mission. I really don't know what's going on with Michael but it is definitely trying to lure me away from him but I was also trying to have my cake and eat it too... asking him to please let us remain together but that my partner (whoever it ends up being) could join us!? He said NO.

"Here's my heart LORD, speak what is true"

I want to operate in and vibrate at the TRUTH VIBRATION. Speak what is true. Carissa, sink into and BE what is true. Here's my life, LORD. (God, UNITY.)

I am feeling more into the religious programming... that's one thing Paul's field has brought forth, this greater awareness of religiosity and how the language shapes perception. So much of the ES content surrounds the TRINITY which is really similar to the CHURCH... except the holy spirit = holy mother...and instead of Jesus, it's Christ-Sophia. The premise is that the church took a form of the truth and bastardized it. 

But if I just look at WHAT IS. I DO see gender principle... but more than that, I see UNITY. 

Anyway, I'm pretty mortified about my behavior with Paul. It's not so bad... just too long (and self-centered) responses and I feel him pulling away which feels like rejection which hurts but that is...needs to be... okay. I have to feel this. Pain is the Axis of Enlightenment. Thank you Kirk.

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I wrote that above last night but I guess I forgot to publish. So I'll keep using this thread today. I'm told there will be a heavy duty window of possible black magic or attack today 10-28 through 11-2. I intend to weather the storm from safe inside my 12D shield. Thanks be to GOD.

I ended up really having to feel into how that Ai Red Cube consciousness trap made me schism. It triggered OCD and looping thoughts. I do not consent. Thank you God for the opportunity to learn. 

I will to let it go. I did leave a last video for Paul last night apologizing and will just let it be. He is an unwitting participant in my spiritual training. God guard and hold his heart and field. Infuse him with the light of UNITY and peace. Bless and keep him in peace and wholeness. May his heart be repaired and restored to the fullness of the LIGHT of God (all that is). 

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19:19

There has been SO MUCH movement today... SO MUCH. I should start a new post. Basically I had another incredible conversation with Paul this morning... another hour and a half. 

I did get his astrology chart out of him and wished I hadn't because it isn't very promising but I told Kirk about it and he said:

"Computerized synthesis of information is very limited. I would take that with a grain of salt. Perhaps the "incompatibility" is polarity integration."

Feels like this is very possible. Isn't our work to repair broken architecture? And maybe this ALB is one... and Sexual Misery programming. These are very UP in the fields and manifesting through this relationship that has popped up. I have lots of thoughts on it but need to keep working with the energy. He sent me a document that shares some of his viewpoints (because we talked about the Sexual Misery program already) and I need to hold neutral witness and read it and feel into it and learn it. Unfortunately a golum wants to get me through it and I cannot let it. I DO NOT CONSENT. It is my intention to hold compassionate witness and space for my beloved Paul (if he is indeed my beloved, but I feel he could be) to heal the pain and distortions that have blown up all our gender centers. To find true and healthy fulfillment in UNITY.

I looked at both of our personality tests. We could compliment eachother, or drive eachother mad! We'll see. But I have to work more now so I can keep reading that pdf. 

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Today I keep seeing what seems like lightening IN THE HOUSE. Just now I saw this on my FB wall (it's open because I was doing something for Dr. Lara.)

FIREWORKS.

I just had internal fireworks when I got 3 hearts back from Paul. GOD!!! Help! Please put the cabash on this if it must be done. I must follow until the end. And do my due diligence to stay in neutral as a compassionate witness with no attachment to outcome.